Posted tagged ‘California election jokes’

Now what…

November 4, 2010

 Now that the playoffs, World Series and parade are over, Giants fans are being asked “What are you going to do next?” Well, laundry for starters.

And San Franciscans who miss their near daily dose of torture will now have to wait until the next 49ers game.

Although they lost the World Series, credit should be given to the Texas Rangers. They played meaningful games longer into the fall than the Cowboys.

 Giants closer Brian Wilson is scheduled to be on the “Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on Thursday night. Depending how this works out Wilson could be the most famous beard in America, well, other than Katie Holmes.

There was a huge turnout for the SF Giants’ victory parade on  Wednesday, which wasn’t surprising, since the team hadn’t won the World Series since 1954.

Which curiously enough was about the same year Jerry Brown was sworn in for his first term as Governor.

Meanwhile, some pundits seem surprised that Meg Whitman and Carly Fiorina haven’t announced what their future political plans might be.  But let’s be fair, a day after the election?  Meg and Carly probably haven’t even figured out if they are going to vote next time.

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There is a terrible Chase commercial running these days about a wedding couple in bad, talking about waiting all day for this. “This” being taking pictures of their gift checks with their camera phone, and depositing them in their Chase account.

It’s almost enough to make you miss political commercials.

Well, now we know that Christine O’Donnell is really not a witch. Because even a mediocre witch should be able to cast a spell to change 50,000 or so votes.

Carly Fiorina FINALLY conceded the California Senate race this morning, about 12 hours after all major networks called the race. She complained that she “couldn’t overcome the Democrats’ registration advantage.” Wonder how much of that “advantage” is due to the fact that people like Fiorina don’t register to vote until they run for office?

From Marc Ragovin : “Meg Whitman’s new theme song “Can’t buy me gov.”

So will the documentary about the 2010 campaign season, outside the West, be known as “The Hunt for Red November.”

In his memoirs, George W. Bush said that, upset with media reports that he was justa puppet, he considered running without Cheney in 2004. But W. he asked permission, Dick just told him no.

W. also said that the lowest point in his presidency was being criticized by Kanye West (who called him a racist.)   So, okay,  the former most powerful man in the world doesn’t quite have the maturity of Taylor Swift.

Superman comes to Washington…

June 9, 2010

Congrats to Stephen Strasburg, who got his first win today in his first start for the Nationals against the Pittsburgh Pirates. Now it will be exciting to see how he does in his next start, against major league hitting.


Actually, with Strasburg’s next starts projected to be in interleague games against the last-place Indians, and the sub .500 White Sox and Royals, it may be a while until he sees major league hitting.


But how much pressure is Strasburg under? Even Barack Obama said, “You know, I really think people in Washington expect him to be a miracle worker.”

Added the President “On the other hand, if he has any ideas about oil slicks…”

A 3-year-old girl is recovering after suffering a fractured skull when she was hit by a line drive during batting practice at Dodger Stadium.

This wouldn’t happen in San Francisco. The Giants don’t hit balls that hard.


This from reader Gary Morton: Amid continuing rumor and speculation in about conference re-alignment with college football teams, USC is considering accepting an invitation to join the NFC West.

There is now talk that BP may be underestimating the daily amount of oil spilling into the Gulf. What, BP being less than honest and straightforward about numbers? It’s sort of like assuming Tiger Woods hasn’t been honest with Elin about his total of mistresses.


Sarah Palin, complaining about the President’s lack of executive experience and thus response to the BP Oil Spill, says Obama should call her. And Barack Obama is thinking, she has no idea the things I’ve wanted to call her.


Election thoughts.

Really low turnout in California for the primary elections. Amazing how many people don’t have time to vote, but have plenty of time to bitch about the results.


Based on election results, it looks like the 49ers may be moving to Santa Clara. Scary thought, less people may have voted to bring the new stadium to Santa Clara than will actually fit in it to see a game.


Gavin Newsom, who started out campaigning for Governor, ending up winning the California Democrat primary for Lieutenant Governor, a office he once called a “do-nothing” position. Based on his recent tenure as mayor, many San Franciscans think the job could be a perfect fit.


Carly Fiorina at her victory celebration in the Republican Senate primary told a story of a woman who squeezed her hand and said “I’ve never voted before but I’m voting for you today.” That was awfully sweet of Meg Whitman.