Left Coast Sports Babe

This year Thanksgiving falls on the first day of the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah. Perfect. We can start feeling guilty even before we overeat.

Storms were milder than expected Wednesday, resulting in fewer than expected air traffic delays. Although no doubt airlines looking ahead to next year have to be considering a “holiday weather surcharge.”

Three NFL games tomorrow – Green Bay Detroit, Dallas Oakland, and Pittsburgh-Baltimore. With only two teams, Detroit and Dallas, over .500, barely, at 6-5. Talk about Thanksgiving turkeys.

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President Obama pardoned two turkeys Wednesday. And Republicans immediately accused him of turkey appeasement.

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So let’s see, family tensions, check, turkey to make people sleepy, check, plenty of alcohol before and during dinner, check. Sounds like we’ve got all the ingredients for a real adventure as Americans drive to the mall for Thanksgiving night shopping.

A Huffington Post/YouGov poll found that 65% of Democrats, 63% of Republicans and 60% of independents said stores should be closed on Thanksgiving.  Wonder how many people saw those numbers and thought  “Let’s head to the mall – less competition for parking spaces.”

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A Pizza Hut manager in Indiana was fired over his refusal to open his restaurant on Thanksgiving day. Well, it’s understandable. He was depriving all those Americans of their traditional pizza and hot wings feast.

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A Michigan car dealer has offered to give away free cars if the Wolverines shut out Ohio State in football this weekend . Presumably all those free cars will be driven by flying pigs?

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A picture-taking tourist who leaned over too far and fell into a gorge at Victoria Falls in Zambia, somehow escaped with only minor bruises. And somewhere Darwin is thinking “Missed it by THAT much.”

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Aren’t we glad that those in charge of college athletics are focusing on the right stuff? The NAIA has told a Southwestern College basketball player who won $20,000 for making a half-court shot at an Oklahoma City Thunder game that he will have to forfeit the money or lose his eligibility to play college basketball. (Wish this was the Onion.)

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Richard Simmons said that he wanted to help the Obamas with their fitness campaign but that “hey have rejected me totally.” Finally, SOMETHING the President and Michelle have done that will get bipartisan agreement.

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Minnesota LB Erin Henderson was arrested last week for DUI and possession of a controlled substance, the 3rd Viking arrested in 3 weeks. What are they all trying to do, get traded to the Bengals?

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Ryan Braun at a press conference about PEDs. “It was a huge mistake. I wish that I hadn’t done it. I wish I could go back and do a lot of things different. I don’t think I could specifically pinpoint one thing that I regret more than anything else…”  One thing?  Uh, how about Braun’s trying to throw everyone under the bus who accused him, for starters.

Southwest Airlines has announced that wi-fi will now be available gate to gate on their planes. In response, United Airlines said that wi-fi will be available on some of their planes, if you get lucky, but they won’t promise which ones, and that’s if the wi-fi actually works. (But in the meantime they’re taking out the entertainment systems so you might have several hours with NOTHING.) #notsofriendly

This entry was posted on November 28, 2013 at 1:34 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: Janice Hough, shopping jokes, Thanksgiving jokes, turkey jokes