Left Coast Sports Babe

The Wild Card races will come down to the wire Wednesday. The question of the day, can the Braves and Red Sox unwind the wire from around their own throats?

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The SF Giants’ Conor Gillaspie’s first major league home run was an inside the park shot that included him falling down rounding third. Making it both an ESPN “Top 10” AND “Not Top 10” play.

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This next may only make sense to frustrated SF Giants fans (which may be redundant in 2011):

Brandon Belt got his first “Splash Hit” (A home run that clears the fence straight into the water) for the Giants Tuesday night at A T & T Park.) Guess that means manager Bruce Bochy will bench him for Wednesday’s finale.

And as my friend Daniel Silveira added “Well, they would have sent him back to Fresno for one more stint at AAA, but the season is over. So, the human yo-yo gets a break.”

(For those who haven’t watched the Giants much this year, a disturbing pattern was to give veterans chance after chance, while rookies not only were on short leashes, they were often benched or sent down even after good games.)

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An Emory University student from New York has been arrested and charged with taking the SAT exam for at least six students attending a top Long Island private high school. The student was alleged to have made between $1500-2000 per test. The most shocking part? No football or basketball players appear to be involved.

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Michael Vick claims he won’t be complaining about not getting calls from referees anymore. Translation, Vick just figured he might like to get a call go his way sometime in 2011.

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The Braves lost again Tuesday night to the Phillies. With the Cardinals win this now meansa a tie for the NL Wild Card. How bad has it been? This Braves team in late September has become the most unwatchable thing for Atlanta fans since Ted Turner used to make out with Jane Fonda in the owner’s box.

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The Dow roller coaster continues, with the market up over 300 points at one point on Tuesday. Meanwhile, the top headline story on Cnn.com all day? The opening arguments in the manslaughter trial of Michael Jackson’s doctor.

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Baylor QB Robert Giffin III now has has passed for more touchdowns (13) than incompletions (12.) Well, at least Peyton Manning in 2011 may also end up with no more incompletions than touchdowns.

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Lebron James is headlining a charity basketball game in Miami next month. And who knows better about charity than Lebron? In fact he’s going to play the whole game like it’s the fourth quarter.

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Southwest booted actress Leisha Hailey off a plane for kissing her girlfriend. Meanwhile, millions of men tried to figure out how to book themselves on the couple’s next flight.

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Andy Rooney, 92, said he will deliver his 1097th and final essay for “60 Minutes” this Sunday. Responded many Americans – “Andy Rooney’s still on ’60 Minutes?'” Responded Americans under 30 – “Who’s Andy Rooney?”

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College Republicans at Berkeley had an affirmative action bake sale where women and minorities paid a lower price than white men. So when is the follow up bake sale? Where minorites and women pay more, because parents and rich mens alumni groups subsidize prices for the white male students?

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This passes for a short quote from Joe Biden. Heck anything under a novella is a short quote from Joe Biden but I like it:

When asked on “the View” about the gay soldier being booed. “I did have a visceral response to it,” I’m not sure if it’s because my son spent a year in Iraq. And I know my sons and all the kids with them — kids, they’re grown men — I don’t think they give a damn whether the guy firing a rifle to protect them is gay or straight. I don’t think they care about that. Look this kid risked his life. This kid is there for them. And I, quite frankly, I thought it was reprehensible.”

This entry was posted on September 28, 2011 at 12:44 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: Atlanta Braves jokes, Berkeley bake sale, playoff jokes, SF Giants jokes, wild card jokes