Archive for November 14, 2010

Are you ready for some bad football?

November 14, 2010

 The Buffalo Bills will not end up with a “perfect” record this year, since they won their first game today against the Detroit Lions. And to celebrate, the 1972 Miami Dolphins opened a case of really cheap generic beer.

My friend Douglas Hudson pointed out that the Lions have now lost their 25th straight road game, breaking their own NFL record set in 2001-03.

In this environmentally conscious age, maybe Detroit should just declare themselves the NFL’s first truly “green” team and just forfeit the rest of their road games?  Would save travel costs, the associated “carbon footprint,” plus wear and tear on the players…

Brett Favre seems to have recovered from his broken ankle, as he was running around the field like looking like a young man Sunday.  Unfortunately for the Vikings,  the young man he looked like was Vinny Testaverde.

The lights went out for a brief time tonight during the Giants-Cowboys game Sunday night.  Although despite Dallas’s upset win, it was still about a month after the lights went out on the Cowboys’ season.

A recent survey by the Chronicle of Higher Education found that 30 presidents of U.S. colleges and universities received more than $1 million in pay and benefits in 2008. As opposed to only 61 college football coaches who made over a million in salary alone.

 San Francisco beat the Rams today in overtime 23-20, despite 14 penalties. Who knew… the secret of success might simply have been for the 49ers to become the Raiders?

There are now allegations that parts of George W. Bush’s memoir were plagarized from other books and articles. On the brighter side, this might indicate that W. actually reads.

A British study found that 1 in 10 men say they use the internet primarily to look for porn. The other nine presumably just go online to read the articles.

from Marc Ragovin: 

Bud Selig raised eyebrows the other day when he said that civil war veteran Abner Doubleday invented baseball, despite all evidence to the contrary. Leading Jamie Moyer to say: “I knew Abner Doubeday. I fought with Abner Doubleday. And Abner Doubleday did not invent baseball.”

No, it’s not a typo:

November 14, 2010

Wisconsin 83, Indiana 20. Worst loss in Indiana history. Or at least since Dan Quayle last played scrabble.

83 points?  Seriously.  Today being the Wisconsin punter was about as relevant as being a caterer at a convention of super models.

Nick Coombs sent in this stat, the only time the  Wisconsin men scored 83 in basketball last year was against… Indiana.

(For anyone who doesnt follow college basketball, Wisconsin’s basketball team, while usually pretty good,  plays a very defensive style that results in very low scoring games,  even in years when the team is good enough to make the NCAA tournament.)

  
The U.S. Post Office lost over $8 billion last year and may have to go to five day a week mail service. Angry Americans plan to start a Facebook and email campaign to “Save Saturday delivery.”
This weekend New York City is hosting the two-day Quidditch World Cup.  And over 40 broomstick-riding teams are participating.
Wonder if the championship trophy will be given out by Christine O’Donnell?
But really?  Quidditch?   Even Trekkies are saying “How geeky can you get?”
NFL priorities: This week the Panthers’ Jon Beason of the Carolina Panthers fined $10,000 for a hit to the head on the Saint’s Marques Colston. Meanwhile Chad Ochocinco was fined $20,000, for wearing gold cleats.

Reader Augie’s comment on David Lee, who compared the pain of  his infected elbow to giving birth. 

“Maybe David Lee’s wife gave birth to a 10lb elbow. Just think if he had gotten his head stuck in a hoop instead.”

LeAnn Rimes actually  tweeted her best wishes to her ex-husband, who she famously cheated on,  She then added in another tweet “my congrats is from my heart. Sorry if you don’t understand it. I do not need the publicity, I get plenty”

Uh, LeAnn, if you don’t need the publicity, maybe a congratulatory phone call or email might have been better?

Warning,  the next joke will only make sense to hockey fans.

What’s the difference between the Maple Leafs and the Sharks?  The regular season and the postseason.