Archive for September 24, 2010

The once and future King?

September 24, 2010

Larry King visited the set of SNL this week and apparently asked about being a guest host. While they were intrigued, the show’s producers said they were actually moving more in the direction of younger trendy hosts like Betty White.


Katy Perry was bounced off Sesame Street for being too slutty. This is not good for Miss Piggy.


All this talk from Jerry Brown and Meg Whitman about what they’ll do if elected. But what about the issue that seems to be uppermost on Californians minds- do either of them have a plan to fix Lindsay Lohan?

Another television clip has surfaced of Christine O’Donnell, this time in 2003 when she vowed to stop unmarried Americans from having sex. Well, at least this won’t hurt her with that all-important Tea Party Trekkies contingent.

The San Francisco Giants’ pitching staff has now allowed 3 runs or fewer in 18 straight games, a modern day record, eclipsed only by the dead ball era – 1916 NY Giants and the 1917 Chicago White Sox.

Even more amazing, Giants pitchers are doing it without benefit of pitching against their own lineup.


First a little background on the next thought. At Coors Field the Rockies some years back started putting baseballs in a humidor, like they use for cigars, to make them moister and heavier. This after years of softball scores. The humidor works as the moist balls are heavier and don’t fly off the bat like a normal baseball left out in the dry mile-high air.

All well and good, but in the past few years, the Rockies have been putting up incredible numbers at home, especially in September. And one theory, which I subscribe to, is that just maybe they are putting some of those dried-out balls into the game, particularly late or when they are behind.

One Rockies spokesman said it wouldn’t happen due to the “integrity of the game,” (right, baseball has the longest history of cheating of maybe any major sport, from stealing signs to corked bats to pretending to be hit by a pitch.)

Anyway, my son told me tonight that there was video of Tim Lincecum asking for a new baseball and his lips clearly said “blanking juiced ball.”

Of course, it could be his imagination. And baseball is a mind game. Or maybe not.

Another television clip has surfaced of Christine O’Donnell, this time in 2003 when she vowed to stop unmarried Americans from having sex. Well, at least this won’t hurt her with that all-important Tea Party Trekkies contingent.


Carly Fiorina’s latest commercial is all about Barbara Boxer asking a general to call her “Senator” rather than “M’am” during a congressional hearing. Good to see Fiorina is really focused on the crucial issues facing California.


Reader Gary Morton commented on the idea of Sarah Palin being elected president (Hey, who thought W. could ever be elected…) But if it happened, which 2 years of her term would she choose to serve


A woman in Montana got a bear to run out of her garden by throwing zucchini at the animal. Assume the bear was a teenager. (Although personally I avoid zucchini myself.

Outages?

September 24, 2010

To anyone who saw the SF Giants Chicago Cubs score tonight. It was not a transmission problem, please do not adjust your set.


The final score 13-0. How bad was it? My twisted friend Ben Burnett said many Cubs fans were feeling guilty, secretly hoping that the would-be bomber would return.



On the other hand, Facebook had outages all day. The horror. Millions of teenagers were forced to actually talk to each other.


And as Alex Kaseberg noted, Christine O’Donnell was very upset over Mafia Wars being down. Millions of people were forced to whack themselves.


Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons fell off a horse and will need surgery for a broken pelvis. But he also apparently will make a full recovery and is “alert and coherent.” Many Nevada voters from both parties are now urging Sharron Angle to go horseback riding

How can any comedy writer hope to compete with this? Sarah Palin on running for president -“If nobody else wanted to step up, I would offer myself up in the name of service to the public. I don’t need the title, I don’t need — for any kind of self-gratification, any personal power seeking of my own — to run for office,”


Turns out San Francisco 49ers and Giants fans have something in common. They both root for teams who do all their scoring once a week.


Seriously, why the SF Giants should make the playoffs – their pitching staff now holds the modern day (since 1920) record for 17 consecutive starts holding the opponents to 3 or less runs. Why they may not make the playoffs. the team has lost 6 of those 17 starts.


Don Nelson is stepping down as coach of the Warriors. Although many frustrated Golden State fans will tell you he hasn’t been actually coaching the team for years.


Katy Perry sang her version of “Hot N Cold” for Sesame Street. But the show’s producers decided her bustier was too revealing and pulled the segment before it aired.

Too bad, no doubt millions of kids would have never forgotten “B is for Boobjob.”