Left Coast Sports Babe

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” Wonder how many people you could get today to sign a petition with these commie-pinko sentiments?

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234 years ago, the U.S. declared independence from Britain. Now I wonder how long it will take for us to declare independence from China.

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How embarrassed are the Argentinian players after being routed 4-0 by Germany? Some of them are actually thinking of hiding out by going to hike the Appalachian trail.

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So as we head to the World Cup semi-finals, the hopes of the Southern Hemisphere rest on a country with a smaller population than Connecticut.

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But let me get this straight. Most of the world considers soccer the only true “football,” and Uruguay makes it into the World Cup semifinals because one of their players uses his hand?

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Apparently when Chelsea Clinton gets married later this summer, President Obama will attend, but former V.P. Al Gore will not. Guess Bill and Hillary didnt want someone showing up who would set a bad example for marriage.

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Lebron James finished his last round of interviews with the teams who believe they can sign him and still win with a team that is under the salary cap. And the New York Yankees are thinking “How quaint.”

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A Russian airline, Avianova, is airing a controversial commercial showing bikini-clad flight attendants washing one of their planes. The ad has been condemned as sexist and unrealistic. Who would believe that most airlines actually wash their planes.

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Britney Spears has a new clothing line at Kohl’s, which she describes as “edgy but girly.” Wonder what her target market is – moms who don’t want to pay a lot of money but still want to be able to dress their daughters like skanks?

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The Southern Californian city where In-and-Out Burger got their start, Baldwin Park, is now banning all new drive-thru restaurant. That’s about as incongruous as the county that is home to Silicon Valley being one of the slowest in the state to count votes in elections…. oops, never mind.

(If this last is too “inside baseball” suffice it to say that Santa Clara County in California is lucky if they get a final count a week after the election.)

This entry was posted on July 4, 2010 at 12:02 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: baseball jokes, Independence Day jokes, World Cup jokes