Left Coast Sports Babe

According to a London tabloid, Tiger Woods has reportedly agreed to pay at least $750 million to his soon-to-be-ex-wife, Elin Nordegren, as a divorce settlement. “Dude, that’s a LOT of diamond rings,” responded Kobe Bryant.

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$750 million? Is that a world record sum for tiger protection?

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No World Cup games Wednesday or Thursday. Which means since the U.S. was eliminated, ESPN soccer viewership is about the same as it’s been all week.
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From a television viewpoint, semi-seriously, here’s the problem with upsets at Wimbledon and the World Cup. If it’s March Madness, an upset either makes someone’s brack look good, or salvages at least at tenative tie for those whose favorites are out. In tennis or soccer its simply “Okay, that means one more future match between someone or some team I have never heard of.”

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In the San Francisco area, a new policy on the Bay Bridge means that tolls will now be $5 on the weekends, $6 during rush-hour, and $4 during off-peak weekday hours. And this in theory means more revenue without any appreciable extra time.

First there is the whole potential change issue. Which anyone who has ever put in a penny for a bill ending in 26 cents, or given a clerk $11 for a $6 charge to get a $5 bill back, will understand. And then there is the potential last minute scramble for an extra dollar, and of course the potential arguments from idiots who think their watch is more accurate than the Bridge’s clock. Sure, nothing can go wrong, wrong, wrong….

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The Giants traded slumping catcher Bengie Molina to the Texas Rangers Wednesday night. Which means that in July there should be no discernable difference in the RBI total Molina had for San Francisco in May and June.

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After their quick exit at the World Cup, the Nigerian president has suspended the national soccer team from international competition for two years. Now that he’s dealt with the country’s serious problems, you think maybe the president could do something about those poor princes?

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The Nigerian president suspended their national soccer team for two years for their dismal performance. Meanwhile, at the University of Michigan, football coach Rich Rodriguez is hoping the university president doesn’t hear about this.

(for any readers, please feel free to substitute USC and Lane Kiffin, or the NFL and the Detroit Lions, etc.)

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Ohio Representative John Boehner compared the banking reform bill to “killing an ant with a nuclear weapon.” Clearly the man has not been at a ruined holiday picnic, where many people would nuke ants in a minute given the opportunity.

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Actually, Boehner’s comment that Congress’s financial reform package was like “killing an ant with a nuclear weapon,” was not his first choice. He thought of saying “like killing an ant with an AK-47.” But then realized that his supporters in the NRA have no problem with that.
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George Lucas’ company “Lucasfilm” lost a wrongful termination suit Wednesday for withdrawing a job offer from a San Francisco woman after she disclosed that she was expecting a baby. To be fair, the geek-driven company with a history of producing high-tech, science-fiction blockbusters, may have had a little bit of a problem with the concept of how anyone gets pregnant.

This entry was posted on July 1, 2010 at 1:25 am and is filed under political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: "ant with a nuclear weapon", Boehner jokes, Nigerian jokes, Tiger Woods jokes