Left Coast Sports Babe

Tin cup, tin ear, could be the title of a Kevin Costner movie sequel about an aging golf pro who ends up deaf after a trip to the World Cup?

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Florida Marlins’ management said that their free mini-vuvuzela giveaway for their game against the Rays was a success. Players on both teams, however, say it was the worst sound they had heard in a ballpark since Roseanne Barr sang the national anthem..

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The French soccer team is being denounced as a bunch of “divas.” And female singers the world over are going, “No way, we divas are actually talented”

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Red Lobster, which serves raw and steamed oysters at some of their restaurants, will be putting the bivalves on hiatus for a while, due to their major supplier shutting down temporarily due to the oil spill. According to the Orlando Sentinel, “once Red Lobster’s current supply runs out, probably in the next couple of weeks, oysters will come off the menu,” a company spokesman said.

Hmm, a “couple weeks” supply of raw oysters on hand. Doesn’t that make you want to rush right out and order half a dozen next week?.

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Apple’s customer service woes continues as people who pre-ordered the new iPhone are reportedly having their orders cancelled with all kinds of excuses. Who does Apple think they are, Microsoft?

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Most of the cancelled orders are apparently online orders or those made through an iPhone app. Apple says the have live customer service agents who will try to help frustrated customers, but of course, that would require iPhone owners to figure out how to use their current device to actually make a call.

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Portugal beat North Korea 7-0 in the World Cup today. In related news, North Korea said it is just coincidence that the range of the new missiles they are testing is the approximate distance from Pyongyang to Lisbon.

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Steve Smith of the Carolina Panthers broke his left fore arm and will miss the start of training camp, apparently from playing flag football. Note to Steve, you’re not supposed to try to tackle the flag.

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Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart are postponing their honeymoon so the groom can go back to work on his upcoming film, “Cowboys and Aliens.” Makes sense, Harrison has to make enough money to pay for
Calista’s orthodonthia.

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Sometimes no satire I could write can match reality. This line, forwarded by a friend, is actually in the Texas Republican party platform: “Marriage Licenses – We support legislation that would make it a felony to issue a marriage license to a same-sex couple and for any civil official to perform a marriage ceremony for such.”-

(On more mundane matters, the Texas GOP also wants to ban “Red Light Cameras.” (But they wouldn’t be a felony.)

This entry was posted on June 22, 2010 at 1:21 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: Apple jokes, World Cup jokes