Where is Kate… and Jon plus ?

Somehow father of eight Jon Gosselin has turned into quite the eligible guy, dating a series of twenty something young women. One as young as 22. If this keeps up, will his show be Jon plus 8? Or rather, Jon plus 18 year olds?

Vincente Padilla of the Texas Rangers has swine flu but will pitch through it as “apparently” he is not contagious. Maybe to be safe, the Rangers should trade Padilla to the Nationals, they can’t catch anything.

A fan has settled with the New York Yankees for $10,000 after he was ejected from Yankee Stadium for going to the bathroom during the National Anthem. The settlement will almost cover the cost of his attending a future Yankees game.

There’s a puzzling mystery at NBA headquarters. Apparently for some reason people from Nike have destroyed all tapes and records of the 2007 NBA finals.

This is the time of year when star baseball players are traded from cellar dwellers to contending teams, although most of them manage to be gracious in their departures. But really, such trades in country music parlance are like your wife leaving you but she also leaves you the pickup truck, the dog, and a refrigerator full of beer.

(and yes, that’s a sexist joke, but I’m a woman. So I can make it.)

President Obama has invited Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr, and Cambridge Policeman James Crowley to get together with him and discuss the situation over a beer. When asked where, Obama reportedly replied, “Anywhere but Yankee Stadium, I can’t afford it.”

And finally from the very funny Alex Kaseberg:

“A Missouri car dealer is offering new truck buyers a free AK-47 automatic weapon. In other words, he is inviting people – during tough economic times – to come to his business and providing them with a lethal weapon as well as a means of escape.

What could possibly go wrong?”

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