Jon and Kate, Separ – Eight.

Does anybody really care?

Actually Jon and Kate are saying now that the pressure of having their whole team on national television every week really took its toll. And the Detroit Lions said “Tell us about it.”

Alternate punchline, the Detroit Lions said “Wait a minute, that’s OUR excuse.”

Gloria Estefan has purchased a stake in the Miami Dolphins. No word yet if the Dolphins running attack will now be nicknamed the “Miami Ground Machine.”

Speaking of television, Lindsay Lohan is apparently getting her own reality show. This may be the first time in recent memory that the terms Lindsay Lohan and reality have been used in the same sentence.

The Guardian Council, Iran’s top electoral body, found “no major fraud” in the recent presidential election. Apparently they used the same investigative techniques that Bud Selig used to proclaim baseball’s steroids testing program so successful.

Iran’s top electoral body found “no major fraud” in their recent presidential election. They also announced that they felt sure Derrick Rose took his own SAT test.

An 103 year old man, believed to be the oldest living professional baseball player, threw out the first pitch last weekend at a Padres game. The man said it was the biggest thrill he has had in baseball – well, since he hit his first home run against Jamie Moyer.

This line below was actually spoken live on ESPN’s coverage of the College World Series Monday night. The context, for any readers with dirty minds, was that the weather was so hot and humid, it was almost impossible to keep the baseballs moisture free.

“The balls are getting wet in the umpire’s sack.”

And this is one I wish I had written, from the very funny Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Star Phoenix and

“Tom Brady’s supermodel wife Gisele Bundchen is expecting a baby. Either that or she ate a grape.”

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