Posted tagged ‘waterboarding jokes’

Susan Boyle and Randy Johnson

April 20, 2009

Okay, so Boyle and Johnson are an unlikely pairing. But It’s  been a good few days for 40 somethings.  First Susan Boyle, 47, takes the world by storm with her rendition of  “I dreamed a dream” on “Britain’s Got Talent.”  Then Randy Johnson, 45,  nearly throws a one hitter for the San Francisco Giants against his old team, the Arizona Diamondbacks.

Some say that Susan Boyle is homely.   Actually, I think she is a nice, if frumpy looking middle-aged woman who could probably use a little fashion and hair advice. (Like many of us.)  But Randy Johnson on the other hand….

 

Rosie O’Donnell commented about Susan Boyle, while complimenting her performance…”Here is this freaky miss, a fat, ugly girl, like Shrek comes to life… ”      Does this really need a punchline?

Randy Johnson’s performance was as good as almost any in his career, even when he pitched back in the dead-ball era.

Arizona Senator John McCain remembers Johnson fondly from his days with the Diamondbacks, and commented after today’s win that it was “great to see the young pitcher doing so well.”

Now it comes out that the CIA used the water-boarding technique over 250 times on two suspects.  Not only that, but the potential torture techniques also included making the suspects watch “Waterworld” and sending them repeatedly through Disney’s “It’s a Small World Ride.”

Fran Drescher, formerly  the “Nanny” on television, has announced she is considering running for Hillary Clinton’s old Senate seat.  Let’s see, experience with spoiled whiny babies and children?  Yeah, that’s about as good as any other possible preparation for Congress.

A recent Rasmussen poll on the subject of  Texas seceding had 75 percent of Lone Star State voters saying they wanted to remain part of the United States.  Most of the other 25 percent reputedly asked “Since when did Texas join the United States?”

And on the other hand, 75 percent of the rest of United States would happily sing “Happy Trails” to Texas. 

After all, to much of the rest of the U.S. Texas is simply another strange land that happens to have oil.

Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega ranted about American imperialism last week.  He did say, however, that he did not blame President Obama for the  Bay of Pigs invasion, which happened before Obama was born. 

Does that mean had we elected John McCain he could have been blamed for everything back through the American Revolution?

Commie pinko joke alert below.

Some Republicans are upset with photos of President Obama being friendly to Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez.  Yeah, I guess he should stick to relations with more moral leaders of oil-producing countries, like the Saudi royal family?