Posted tagged ‘Sarah Palin’

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Political rant time.

June 12, 2009

Okay, conservative readers of this blog, both of you,  come back tomorrow.

Rant number one.  Okay, Carrie Prejean has been fired from her job as Miss California.  She said it was because of the comment she made about gay marriage. 

Sorry Carrie, I don’t think it’s about the comment you made.  I think it’s about the comments you continued to make, about the press conferences and interviews, and about your joining the National Organization for Marriage and making appearances for them.

Had you made your comment, and then when asked about it, said that was your belief but then gone on to “World Peace” and all the other things beauty queens talk about, or simply said, “I think there’s a lot more to people than their views on this issue and can’t we all get along?” or something like that, then no problem.  Oh sure, there would still be people who were upset and you might get a picket or two, along with some supporting picketers. But the whole thing would have largely faded out of memory for most people.

And then you could have your year of appearances and smiling and waving and doing all the things Miss Californias do.  (Even if I’m not sure exactly what those things are.)

But hey, it’s a free country and you decided to use that comment to become a political activist and speak out and make appearances against gay marriage.  And that’s your right, but it wasn’t your job.

And that, Ms Prejean,  is why you were fired.

 

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And by the way, in the “What was she thinking department?”   In terms of alienating the men in her audience,  making anti-gay statements as a beauty pageant winner is like making those statements at a movie festival featuring Judy Garland.

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Rant number two.

Governor Sarah Palin, refusing to let her new feud with David Letterman die.  Okay, it was a tacky joke, okay he said he didn’t mean it to apply to her underage daughter, Willow. But if it was all about protecting her underage children why did she trot poor Bristol and Levi out last year during the campaign. The girl was just 17?

And if it’s all about education, or explaining why she considered his joke so out of bounds, hey, the Governor could have easily accepted Dave’s invitation to come on his show,  and done a “Top Ten Reasons Why Dave is a Neandrethal,” or something.  Then had a frank discussion on why sexism is dangerous.  But no, she would rather wear the victim crown.  Or rather, like Ms. Prejean, the victim tiara.

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“Anonymous, pathetic bloggers”

February 6, 2009

Sarah Palin railed this week in an interview against “anonymous, pathetic bloggers.” She also said that a transcript of her comments would be available at “joetheplumber.com.”
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You have to love it, Governor Palin condemned bloggers for “spreading falsehoods” about her…and in case we forgot, brought up all those falsehoods again.

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When asked if he agreed with Sarah Palin’s comments about bloggers, John McCain replied “What’s a blogger?”

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Sarah Palin also said in an interview that she named her daughter Bristol after the home of ESPN. Apparently Palin had wanted to work there in her pre-political days, but had decided it was too far away. This is a woman who can see Russia from her house, but is daunted by the idea of Bristol, Connecticut?
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Although things are not going as smoothly in Washington as Barack Obama would like, at least we have a Democratic president who is working on a stimulus package, instead of working on getting someone to stimulate his package.

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The woman who gave birth to in-vitro octuplets told an interviewer she was “longing for personal connections.” Anyone ever suggest a puppy?

Although on the other hand, the Humane Society generally requires some evidence of financial and mental stability for people who want to adopt puppies….

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Republicans are almost uniformly against Barack Obama’s stimulus plan, preferring instead another round of tax cuts. Now, I’m not an economist, but didn’t we try that for the last eight years already?

Republicans are saying we should ignore President Obama and go back to more tax cuts. Isn’t that like the Detroit Lions telling their coach they don’t need his new ideas since they prefer the 2008 playbook?

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Lane Kiffin, in his new position as the University of Tennessee football coach, has already sparked controversy by accusing Florida coach Urban Meyer of cheating. For making a legal call to a recruit.

Who’d a thought that between Kiffin and his old boss, Al Davis would turn out to be the restrained one?

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That Bush highlight video

January 28, 2009

Apparently on George W. Bush’s flight back to Texas, they played a highlight video of his presidency. Or that was the explanation for the blank screen when the plane’s projector went out.

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On the way back to Texas, staff travelling with George W. Bush showed a video of accomplishments from his presidency. For curious Americans, that video will be sold in a boxed set, along with a video of Cubs’ World Series highlights.

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A Wisconsin court just ruled that cheerleading is a contact sport. And that was just based on scenes after the tryouts.

or

A Wisconsin court just ruled that cheerleading is a contact sport. And that was just the mothers at the tryouts.

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President Obama has moved swiftly to ban torture. Does this mean Disney will have to close their Small World ride?

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Sarah Palin has now created a new political action committee – SarahPac. I don’t know about you…but doesn’t SarahPac sound like something overpriced in the handbag department at Neiman Marcus?

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A Stanford law school graduate has pled guilty to tax evasion, Apparently she did not file tax returns for her escort service, which was simply a front for her work as a high-price call girl. Escort services around California now worry that their businesses may get a bad reputation – customers will think they are full of lawyers.

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So Citigroup was planning on using some of our bailout money to purchase a new $50 million corporate jet.

Where’s a flock of Canadian Geese when you need them?

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BCS -Big Conference $

January 10, 2009

As perhaps the most contested BCS – Big Conference $ – bowl season has come to an end….should we be surprised that the pivotal contest occurred in Florida?

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Barack Obama has renewed his call for a college football playoff to avoid such contested results in future.   George W. Bush for his part believes we should use a more time-tested method to choose a winner – the Supreme Court.

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And another but not the last comment on the excuse of not having playoffs because it wouldn’t be fair to the student-athletes….  Right, like Florida wide receiver Louis Murphy, a senior majoring in  –  I am not making this up -Recreation Event Management.

(Didn’t that used to be called partying?)

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Barack Obama is now bringing his mother-in-law to Washington, so grandma will be in the White House.   Sarah Palin promptly accused Obama of stealing her 2012 campaign slogan.

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Two of the most critically acclaimed movies now out are “Doubt” and “Defiance.”  Both might do better at the box office, however, if so many Americans didnt think they were documentaries on Rod Blagojevich.

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Aother funny line from Bill Littlejohn:

 Milton Bradley donned Sammy Sosa‘s old No. 21 as he was introduced in Chicago.When someone asked him about his anger issues, Bradley suddenly couldn’t speak English”
 

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Shane Lechler, the Oakland Raiders punter, was named this week to his fourth All-Pro team.   Not to diminish this achievement, but to be fair, Lechler does get more than his share of practice.

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Stanford football coach Jim Harbaugh, who has not signed his recent (and supposedly agreed-upon) contract extension, is now rumored to have interviewed for the New York Jets job.

So if Harbaugh ends up coaching Brett Favre will he tell Stanford that he wasn’t “fully committed” to his contract extension, and that he “felt pressured to make a decision?”

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Exploited?

January 9, 2009

Sarah Palin is now claiming that people like Tina Fey and Katie Couric “exploited” her candidacy.  But the Governor does feel she will finally be able to defend herself in  her upcoming $7 million book.

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Regarding Obama’s lunch with the former presidents, apparently it was a great success, with all of them sharing their favorite Oval Office memories. There was only one awkward moment, when Carter told Clinton, “Bill, too much information.”

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SI.com headline “Favre plans to take his time to make retirement decision.”

(And their point is?)

 

From Nick Coombs.

Oklahoma has now lost their last five BCS games.  Five losses. That’s almost as bad as the Thunder in an average week.

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Retail downturn…

January 5, 2009

Many economists predict that the retail downturn will continue, and that many stores will close in 2009.  This is the result of increased unemployment, declining consumer confidence, and the fact the RNC is no longer shopping for Sarah Palin.

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Miami commuters were delayed for hours last Friday after a local expressway was littered with thousands of shoes.  Or as President Bush called them “A mass of weapons of destruction.”

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The Philadelphia Eagles, led by quarterback Donovan McNabb, beat the Minnesota Vikings 26-14.   McNabb was actually benched in late November for his poor play…  Forget comeback player of the year, McNabb might be comeback player of the month.

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Lebron James was actually called for travelling in the waning seconds of a Cleveland Cavaliers loss to the lowly Washington Wizards,  who are now 7-25.   Vegas oddmakers immediately put up a new wager – will Lebron finish the year with more or less travelling calls than the Wizards have wins?

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The San Diego Chargers surprised the world by knocking off the Indianapolis Colts in their playoff game Saturday.  Which means that  next week,  Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers might get almost as much television airtime as Peyton Manning.

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Good news or bad news, depending on how big a Peyton fan you are.  With his team out of the playoffs, Manning will have a lot more time to make more commercials.

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And the star of the game for San Diego, was a 5’6″ reserve running back named Darren Sproles,  who ended up speeding all over the place with 328 yards, despite being the shortest man on the field. (including the officials.) 

Who’d a thunk the Chargers would end up being powered by the Energizer Bunny?

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$300,000 for Bristol Palin’s baby pictures…?

December 31, 2008

Well, we may have had a first look at Sarah Palin’s fundraising strategy for 2012.

But to be fair, it’s only $300,000.   And the family will need wedding clothes.

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Seven Maryland football players did not start in the Humanitarian Bowl as punishment for missing curfew this week. In Boise.  Now, that takes some doing…finding something to do to keep you out that late in Boise.

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Brett Favre will apparently spend several weeks deliberating whether or not to play next year.  Then he will spend several months claiming he was pressured into making whatever decision he makes, and that he isn’t fully committed to it.

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Should anyone be surprised that Favre dated his wife for over seven years – and even had a child together, before they got married?

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Tonight is New Years Eve.  T.O. and the Dallas Cowboys will celebrate with a case of whine.

 

Eliot Spitzer is on the list of people caught up in Bernard Madoff’s ponzi scheme.  Who’d a thunk that the money he spent on call girls might have been the only time this year Spitzer got something for his investment?

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On a semi serious note, many people say we shouldn’t have a college football playoff because fans would lose interest in the 34 bowl games.   Yeah, exactly…everyone was really focused on tonight’s Humanitarian Bowl and Music City Bowls and Texas Bowls….(between six teams who most people couldn’t have probably named without seeing the final scores.)

As opposed to college basketball,  which coincidentally, also has about 60 something teams go on to top level postseason play… 

(okay, yes, not counting the NIT.)

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A losing day for winners…

December 15, 2008

The two teams with the NFL’s best records – the Titans and Giants  – both lost Sunday, along with the division leading Cardinals and Broncos.  And the Steelers barely escaped with a win on a controversial touchdown call.

Most Americans haven’t seen so many high-flyers come down to earth since they opened their last 401K statement.

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Rumor has it that Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich may resign as early as Monday.  That is, once he negotiates a comfortable fee for his appearance on Court TV.

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Joe Biden has indicated that despite the fact that he will be a  heartbeat away from running the country, he intends to keep a lower profile than his predecessor.  Besides, he thinks Obama will be a far more competent leader than Cheney was.

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An Iraqi journalist threw a shoe at George W. Bush, but just missed hitting the President.   Although he was close enough that he will be offered a tryout by the Detroit Lions.

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An Iraqi man threw his size 10 shoe at President Bush this weekend, but just missed his target.    Fortunately there’s no chance the President will have to worry about shoes thrown by Bozo – due to professional courtesy.

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President Bush feels confident he will not have to face any shoe attacks back in the U.S.   The way the economy is going, most Americans can no longer afford a backup pair.

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John McCain would not commit to backing Sarah Palin for the presidency in 2012.  Though in the spirit of bi-partisanship, President-elect Obama said he thinks she would be a great choice as the Republican nominee.

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The Cleveland Indians just signed a two year deal with Kerry Wood.  Wood said he was happy with his new team, and also promised to be healthy and ready to be injured in spring training.

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And two great efforts from Nick Coombs:

An announcement is expected today that the AFL will forgo the 2009 season. This, combined with the recent signs of financial trouble within the WNBA has led ESPN executives to wonder what they are going to do with their ESPN2 3AM lineup.


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How are the New York Giants and the New York Knicks similar?
Neither team has players that know how to shoot.

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A little normalcy during tough times…

December 12, 2008

So as our nation goes through a period of incredble uncertainty and economic worries, it’s good to have reminders that some things dont change.  Such as, Terrell Owens is mad at his quarterback again.

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With Detroit suffering in part from years of just building big fuel-guzzling cars, maybe it’s sadly appropriate that the bailout plan just ran out of gas.

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The Washington Redskins have managed to win the fan voting for 9 out of 16 positions  for this year’s Pro Bowl.   This might be the only example all year of Americans approving of anything in Washington.

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The 7-6 Redskins have actually lost four of their last five games.  Well, the Cowboys have long been known as America’s team, maybe the Redskins are America’s economic team.

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Ken Mink of Roane State Community College is at 73, the country’s oldest college basketball player.  Apparently the septuagenarian guard honed his skills as a youth playing pickup games with Greg Oden.

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Texas Tech quarterback Graham Harrell leads in most passing statistics this year, but did not get an invitation to the Heisman ceremony this weekend.   Despite his having better numbers than the three quarterbacks who did.

Well, he might not get the Heisman, but he could get the Al Gore award.

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Now that Illinois Governor Blagojevich has been stopped from selling Barack Obama’s senate seat, they are breathing a sigh of relief up in Alaska that Ted Stevens lost this November.  Though to be fair,  Sarah Palin was just going to put his seat up on Ebay.

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Turkey Eve..

November 26, 2008

Apparently after the President pardons a turkey for Thanksgiving, that turkey, and an alternate, will be flown first class from Washington to Los Angeles, yes, in the first class cabin, where they will be Grand Marshalls in Disney’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.  (Disney pays for the flight .)  The flight is apparently registered with the FAA as United Turkey 1.   

Does this really need a punchline?

(But okay, not to be confused with President Bush’s flight home to Texas January 20, which presumably will be now registered as Turkey 2.)

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Notre Dame’s student fans were apparently so incensed with the the Fighting Irish’s lousy performance in a loss against lowly Syracuse last Saturday that they threw snowballs at their own team.  The university is considering sanctions, although those who hit their targets have been invited to try out for quarterback.

 

The San Francisco Giants, who have already made one of the worst free agent signings of the decade with their long term big money contract to Barry Zito, are apparenlty considering making an offer to C.C. Sabathia.  Maybe they want him to bat fourth?

(note to anyone who doesn’t follow baseball closely, and thus is thinking, “huh?’ about that last joke.  C.C. Sabathia is one of the best hitting pitchers in the major leagues.)

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The NIMF – (National Institute on Media and the Family)  –  has come out with their list of ten  games that are too violent and that parents should not buy for their under-17 children  And coincidentally, those same ten games have jumped to the top of many children and young teenagers’ wish lists.

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tacky joke alert.

When Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey, the camera showed another turkey being slaughtered in the background.  Which has prompted calls from the American public for President Bush to pardon a banker or automaker.

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Lots of birds playing in the NFL’s three Thanksgiving Day games.  The Seahawks, Cardinals and Falcons in the later games. And of course the turkeys from Detroit in the first game.

 

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And finally, ah for the good old days… when toxic assets were simply buildings with abestos.

 

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Flying to your bailout hearing in a private jet?

November 20, 2008

Executives from Ford, GM and Chrysler apparently flew to their bailout hearings in their own private jets?

Isn’t this like Bill Clinton needing a character reference on his vetting statement, and using Monica Lewinsky?

Or maybe more like it…

Isn’t this like Ted Stevens being convicted on felony counts for taking illegal gifts, being tossed out of the Senate, and asking if he can take his office furniture home?

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The new Dallas Cowboys stadium beat out several other applicants, including Ford Field, to be the site of the 2014 NCAA Men’s Basketball ball Final Four.  Detroit backers were particularly disappointed;  they feel they have so much experience in hosting amateur sporting events with the Lions.

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While awaiting a  transplant, a 14 year old girl survived almost 4 months in a hospital with out a heart.   Dick Cheney asked “And your point is…?”

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Notre Dame, despite being headed towards a five loss season (if they split games with Syracuse and USC)  is still getting interest from the New Year’s Day Cotton and Gator bowls.

If they are invited, it would be the first time either of these bowls includes a team with five losses.   But clearly the potential audience overweighs any real merit or record.

In related news, Sarah Palin is reportedly close to signing a $7 million book contract. 

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Sarah Palin is reportedly close to signing a $7 million book contract.  Upon hearing the news, President Bush said, for that much money, I’ll read one too.

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Basketball and other late nights.

November 19, 2008

ESPN kicked off, or I should say tipped off, its men’s college basketball season coverage with a 14 game marathon starting at midnight.  Unsuspecting fans were shocked to turn on the television at that hour and see basketball, they thought the only live games at midnight were the baseball playoffs.

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The New York Yankees are opening their new stadium next year with exhibition games against the Chicago Cubs.  Why the Cubs?  The Yankees wanted an opponent who wouldn’t learn anything about the stadium they could use in a potential World Series.

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President Bush has been inviting several champion sports teams, including most recently the U.S. Ryder Cup winners, to the White House during his last months in office.  But given George W’s own record, wouldn’t a more appropriate team to invite be the 1-7 Washington Wizards?

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University of Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez has told fans to “get a life” after reading some negative personal comments on message boards.   And certainly it’s wrong to attack a coach personally just because of a lousy season.  But a tip for Coach Rodriguez.  When you’re 3-8 with a school record for football losses, maybe it’s not a good idea to be reading message boards. 

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Senator Ted Stevens has now lost his bid for re-election, although if elected he would have probably been forced to resign soon anyway.   So two words that comedy writers won’t be getting for Christmas – “Senator Palin.”

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Lions and Bengals and Bears, oh my…

November 16, 2008

As the Lions continued their quest for a perfect season by losing a tenth game in the row….

The CIncinnati Bengals played a true stinker of a game, and still ended up tying the Philadelphia Eagles 13-13 after neither team could score in overtime.  

But really, tying the Cincinnati Bengals?  Isn’t that like french kissing your sister?

Or getting drunk, trying to kiss your sister, and kissing your brother-in-law?

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And Sunday on 60 Minutes, Barack Obama reiterated his call for a playoff system for the top college teams.  Was there a hometown bias?    Based on their earlier 37-3 loss to the Green Bay Packers, the Chicago Bears might just qualify.

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And as we start thinking about the inaugural:

In 1841, William Henry Harrison gave the longest inauguration speech in history, almost two hours, in bitter cold weather.  He caught pneumonia and died a month later.  Well, it’s a good thing that there is no inaugural speech for the Vice President. 

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Mike Huckabee is getting his own show on Fox News.  Not to be outdone, Sarah Palin will be getting her own show too: “Northern Overexposure.”

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Comebacks?

November 14, 2008

Michael Vick’s lawyer says that the former quarterback wants to return to the NFL when he is released from prison.   Vick is at least hoping to be paroled to the equivalent of a halfway house – like the Lions or 49ers.

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Hillary Clinton is apparently being considered for the job of Secretary of State.   At first she was leery of the idea, and Obama reportedly told her, “I understand, it’s a lot of travel, you won’t see your spouse for weeks at a time,” and which point Hillary interjected “I’m in.”

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The New York Jets beat the New England Patriots on Thursday night football, a win that would have been unimaginable back when Tom Brady was healthy and Brett Favre was just learning the Jets offense.   But this just proves the old saw “Age and treachery will overcome youth and an ACL.”

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The recount in Alaska is swinging back and forth between convicted felon and incumbent Ted Stevens and his Democratic Senate challenger Mark Begich.  Although if Stevens wins, he is likely to resign.  And reportedly Sarah Palin will run for his seat.

Wonder if she remembers saying the Vice President is in charge of the Senate?

Though if she does win, Joe Biden has to be telling himself, “I got out of there just in time…”

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Congratulations to Tim Lincecum, the San Francisco Giants’ baby-faced and pint-sized 24 year old fireballer, who won the Cy Young award for the best pitcher in the National League.  Lincecum compiled 18 wins, the most strikeouts, and the second best ERA in the league. And amazingly, he did it without the benefit of pitching against the Giants’ hitters.

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On the other end of the spectrum, 45 year old Randy Johnson filed for free agency after he failed to come to terms with the Arizona Diamondbacks.   Apparently the D’backs were hoping Johnson would give the team a senior discount.

 

From my funny friend Bill Littlejohn:

“The Cubs acquired closer Kevin Gregg from the Marlins, meaning that Kerry Wood likely won’t be back.The Cubs, however, plan to retire Wood’s spot on the disabled list”

 

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It’s not too early to think about the playoffs..

November 13, 2008

The NFL has announced lower playoff ticket prices for this year.  Yet another attempted economic stimulus that won’t trickle down to Detroit.

Apparently the average ticket price will be down 10 percent from last year.   Except in Arizona, where Cardinal fans are still saying “So what ARE these things called playoff tickets?”

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Sarah Palin continues the blame game for her and John McCain’s loss last week -everyone from the media, to staffers, to being muzzled, to Bush’s policies…  Any day now she’ll complain that they might have won if voters weren’t influenced by Simon, Randy and Paula.

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And President-elect Obama is already beginning his efforts to put together an administation that will help ailing industries.   Although for comedy writers, he’s already chosen Joe Biden.  

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John McCain made his first campaign appearance on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.  Well, where else could he have gone for more sympathy after having lost a job to a younger, less experienced man? 

 

And finally, an incredibly tacky joke:   Don’t read if you are easily offended.

Barack Obama chatted this week with Bill Clinton.  At one point Obama asked the former president about living with a dog in the White House.  Clinton replied, it’s not so bad, you have interns.

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Only 45 non-shopping days?

November 10, 2008

Yes, it is officially only 45 days until Christmas, which many retailers fear may be the worst in recent memory.  Especially now that the Republican National Committee is no longer shopping for Sarah Palin.

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One real problem facing the new President-elect will be Detroit.     Barack Obama says he has hopes of working out a plan to save GM and Ford, but realistically there’s nothing he can do about the Lions.

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Speaking of football, there’s one silver lining for the offensively challenged Oakland Raiders this season.  No fines for touchdown celebrations.

Although the team does plan a big celebration if they ever score one.

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With all the rumors about former Democratic presidential candidates ending up in an Obama administration, one name is notably absent – John  Edwards.

Though based on his haircuts and recent personal history he might well apply for a job as either director of Pentagon procurement, or being in charge of hiring interns.

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President Bush was a little confused about the meeting with Obama on Monday.  When an aide referred to Barack as the new “President-elect” he responded “You mean you have to get elected?”

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2012

November 8, 2008

A recent poll said that 64 percent of Republicans want Sarah Palin to run for president in 2012.

And presumably about 100 percent of Democrats.

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Though to be fair, McCain-Palin did win every state she could see from her house.

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Ralph Nader was chastised by Fox News anchor Shepard Smith for using a derogatory racial term to describe President-elect Obama.  

Isn’t being chastised by Fox News on political correctness like being chastised by John Edwards on family values?

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In the end, Hillary Clinton turned out be a real soldier for Barack Obama.  Ironically, some of her best campaigning came after Obama told her he thought he might be able to give her an important role in his administration, but it wouldn’t come with a first-lady type job for her husband.

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Turning over the same old Leaf…

November 7, 2008

Ryan Leaf was placed on “administrative leave” from his job as an assistant quarterback coach at West Texas A & M over drug allegations,  ten years after he was the number two choice in the NFL draft.

Yep, he’s right on track for a future career in “Celebrity boxing.”

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All of a sudden, Peyton Manning’s 4-4 start with the Indianapolis Colts doesn’t look so bad. (Manning was drafted number one in the 1998 draft, Leaf was number two.)

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The Los Angeles Dodgers have offered a hefty two-year contract to Manny Ramirez, but may end up being outbid.  Hey, times are tough, especially when you only get concession revenues from the third to the seventh inning.

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On election night, Oprah ended up crying on the shoulder of a stranger, who turned out to be an Obama volunteer from California.   Sam Perry, aka Mr. Man, said he didn’t mind a bit, after all as a Democrat he was used to women crying on election night.

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John McCain’s staff denied there were any bad feelings late in the campaign between the Senator and Governor Palin.  They also denied that McCain had had any “buyer’s remorse’ about the pick.   In fact, one aide said that John had even suggested Sarah go hunting with Dick Cheney.

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The Denver Broncos defeated the Cleveland Browns, in “Thursday Night Football.”  Or, as the NFL refers to its new scheduling policy: “If we can find a night we think you will watch we’re playing a game.”

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And once again, the Oakland Raiders home game Sunday will be blacked out in the San Francisco because the team didn’t sell enough tickets.  Is this really the right strategy.  Maybe the threat should be, if you don’t buy tickets, we’ll black out the alternate game between two real teams.

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And after Barack Obama’s historic win, Americans stockpiled newspapers Wednesday morning to save for their grandchildren.  Who will probably ask someday “What’s a newspaper?”

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After the election…

November 6, 2008

It should be at least a few weeks before the first candidates declare for 2012.

 

One day after the election, Barack Obama is working on his transition team.  And Joe Biden is just finishing delivering his VP acceptance speech.

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Sarah Palin said she doesn’t believe she cost John Palin a single vote.  Well, Obama may have won most of the swing states, but Palin certainly owns the state of denial.

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After the election there were plenty of phone calls.  George W.  Bush and Dick Cheney called John McCain to offer condolences.  And Bill Clinton called Sarah Palin to offer to buy her lunch.

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After the end of the baseball season Manny Ramirez said he wanted a big longterm contract, saying  “I want to see who is the highest bidder. Gas is up and so am I,”

Yeah, proving exactly why smart teams won’t sign him to a long term contract…

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There are reports that Major League Baseball agents are scrambling to sign their clients’ big contracts before January 1,  when President-Elect Obama’s expected tax increases will hit multi-millionaires.   

So who knew, they may not make the playoffs, but the Yankees could at least help pay off our national debt.

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And voters in San Francisco overwhelmingly rejected a measure that would have renamed a local sewage plant after George W. Bush.  Of course, San Franciscans being San Franciscans, no word as to whether they thought the renaming would be unfair to the president,  or to the sewage plant.

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Monday night football..

November 4, 2008

Pittsburgh Steelers receiver Santonio Holmes returned after being benched for a game after police found marijuana cigars in his car.  he caught three passes for 30 yards including a five yard touchdown pass.   He denied rumors  that the touchdown catch was a “high-five.”

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On interviews during the halftime show of Monday Night Football, John McCain said he’d like to get performance-enchancing drugs out of sports.  Barack Obama said he’d just like to see a playoff system in college football.  That settles it – they’re BOTH unrealistic dreamers.

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A prankster purporting claiming to be President Sarkovy calling from Paris managed to dupe Sarah Palin into a conversation.  But to be fair, Governor Palin said she hadn’t talked to anyone speaking Parisian before.

 

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And finally on election eve.  The Arizona Cardinals are in first place and  the Tennessee Titans are undefeated.  The New York Yankees didn’t make the playoffs, and both the Philadelphia Philles and the Tampa Bay Rays made it to the World Series.    By comparison,  you could have probably gotten better odds on the U.S. electing a black man to be our next president….

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