Posted tagged ‘President’s day jokes’

President’s Day Weekend.

February 19, 2011

While we’re celebrating President’s Day here’s an interesting thought. Since Virginia was at that point a British colony, George Washington himself wasn’t born in the United States.

Former President George W. Bush apparently used to complain that HE didn’t have a day in his own honor. Although Dick Cheney mollified him by saying that a day was already set aside for that in the future–the first of April.

Sarah Palin came out against the “birthers” in her own party, saying questions about President Obama’s citizenship are “annoying” and a “distraction.” Possible translation – she’s beginning to worry that the same people who don’t know Hawaii is a state, aren’t sure about Alaska either.

During an appearance in New York Thursday, Sarah Palin said that to help prepare for her speech,  she had asked her daughter Bristol to Google information about the economy in their hotel room the night before.

Too bad a few years ago Sarah hadn’t asked  Bristol to Google information about birth control.

Unusually low temperatures and rain around San Francisco. Most Bay Area residents can’t remember being so cold here since their last Giants game at Candlestick.

The judge overseeing Barry Bonds’ perjury case asked the lawyers on both sides to seek a plea bargain, “or rather “a resolution of this short of trial.” Translation, the judge is as sick of wasting time and money on this as most of the rest of us.

(My friend Ed Miller suggests, just tattoo an asterisk on his forthead and let him go.)

Open note to the GOP: If you are really serious that our nation’s top priority is reducing abortions, what about making it a crime for heterosexual men without certified vasectomies to have sex outside of marriage?

So any truth to the rumor that Mubarak’s next planned step is to run for Governor of Wisconsin?

Things are getting wild indeed in Wisconsin.  The state hasn’t seen such outrage since Brett Favre signed with the Vikings.

Life without a real Tiger: The Golf Channel has suspended Jim Gray from covering the “Northern Trust Open” after Gray had an altercation with Dustin Johnson’s caddie. This comes as real news to both people who were planning to watch the tournament.

President’s Day ramblings…

February 15, 2010

Former Vice President Dick Cheney was asked if he thought Sarah Palin was qualified to be president? His response “That never mattered with W.”


With the NBC tape delays, Americans on the West Coast who don’t want to find out Olympic results early are finding themselves in the tough position of having to go all day without paying any attention to any news online, on the radio or television. In other words, they get a glimpse of what it was like to be former President George W. Bush.


February 15 is President’s Day. Which is now one of the saddest days of the year George W. Bush. He misses getting all those presents.


To save money, the state of Utah might make 12th grade classes optional. So for football players, they’ll get a taste of life at college.


Larry Ellison’s BMW Oracle team won the America’s Cup for the US over the Swiss boat Allinghi. “That’s really exciting” said almost nobody.


More than 108,000 fans bought tickets for the NBA All-Star game at Cowboys Stadium. And almost 100 of them could actually see the court.


Chinese skaters Shen Xue and Zhao Hongbo came out of retirement to lead the pairs competition after the first round. They skated a beautiful short program to a melody that translates roughly “You punks get off of my ice.”