Posted tagged ‘Kansas jokes’

Oh, baby

March 24, 2014

 

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are expecting their first child together. Wonder if Mila might ask Demi Moore if she’s saved any of Ashton’s favorite toys.

Shouldn’t Warren Buffett give at least a few thousand to those who had #Dayton #Stanford in the Sweet Sixteen? Both of them.

Not a lot of people outside Palo Alto had Stanford into the Sweet Sixteen. Heck, not a lot of people INSIDE Palo Alto had Stanford into the Sweet Sixteen.

It might be a nice gesture for #Stanford to offer #cryingKansaskid a campus tour. Maybe he’ll grow up to play for the Cardinal.

 

The SF Chronicle has the same reporter regularly covering the Stanford men’s and women’s basketball teams.  (And Tom Fitzgerald’s been driving between St. Louis and Ames.)  Why do I think the paper didn’t spend a lot of time trying to figure out his potential conflict for the second NCAA tournament weekend?

While the Dodgers swept their two-game series in Australia with the D’backs, there have already been incidents where Yasiel Puig has drawn the ire of manager Don Mattingly and teammate Adrian Gonzalez. How long in Los Angeles until we start hearing “Puigy being Puigy?”

 

Hillary Clinton admitted last night that she is weighing another presidential campaign. “I am shocked,” said absolutely no one.

 

Jimmy Carter,89, said he writes letters when it’s something sensitive as he thinks the NSA is monitoring his emails. And the NSA responded. “Wait, Jimmy Carter knows how to send emails?”

 

A man was arrested Friday after ordering ten shots of Jägermeister and then punching two other patrons and setting fire to a trash can in a sports bar. You guessed, it, Florida. (If only he had been armed.)

 

The latest potential credit card date breach involves the DMV. “Wow. I’m shocked they would be so sloppy and careless.” said no one who’s ever renewed a driver’s license.

 

From Gary Bachman   “The president of Malta’s grandson gave the pope a plastic dinosaur. The only other time the pope held a plastic dinosaur was when he embraced Joan Rivers.”

Brackets – flat out broke and busted…

March 21, 2010


Obama’s speech to congressional Democrats today is already being considered one of the best of his presidency. Who’d a thunk yesterday that the President’s healthcare plan would be looking better than his brackets? (Obama picked Kansas to win it all.)


Lots of headlines about the Northern Iowa upset of Kansas, calling it the biggest “underdog” victory of the year. Since Northern Iowa is the Panthers , shouldn’t they have been “undercats?”


The Panthers’ upset certainly ranks as one of the earthshaking events to ever happen to Kansas. And in this case there wasn’t even a witch and flying house involved.


The Washington Nationals sent star prospect Stephen Strasburg to their double AA afflilate in Harrisburg. Some say it had to do with money and delaying his eligibility for arbitration. But it might be simply that they wanted him to have experience with a team that could actually win a few games.


Tim Tebow will work out for the Washington Redskins this weekend. Thereby providing more ammunition for those who admire his college performance, but say he will never play quarterback for a professional team.


As we move into late March there are more and more signs that the major league baseball regular season is starting soon – the weather is getting warmer, rosters are getting smaller, and Kerry Wood is injured again.

from Alex Kaseberg:
A study in the journal “Neurobiology of Aging” revealed there is memory loss between the age of 40 and 50. Not only that, but there is memory loss between the age of 40 and 50.