Posted tagged ‘General McChrystal jokes’

It keeps going, and going, and going…

June 24, 2010

By the time you read this, the Wimbledon match that would not end, may have ended. Or maybe not.

The Wimbledon match between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut is heading into its third day. And it will go down in history as one of the most seemingly endless events ever. The players may not get an invitation to meet President Obama, but they’ve already received an offer to chat with Joe Biden.


John Isner and Nicholas Mahut had their 10 hour plus match at Wimbledon suspended Wednesday night due to darkness, with the fifth set tied 59-59. (No, that’s not a typo.) Whoever wins, they both should be looking at serious endorsement contracts with Energizer.


As the longest match in Wimbledon history went over 100 games in the fifth set, many occasional tennis fans had one question – “At what point do they go to penalty kicks?”

Stephen Strasburg made his fourth start today for the Washington Nationals against the Kansas City Royals. Following starts against the Pirates, Indians and White Sox. So he should be about ready to start facing some major league hitting.

Prince Albert of Monaco has finally announced his engagement to a Olympic swimmer. Many of his subjects are shocked, not only is he finally getting married, he’s marrying a woman.


Former President Clinton is in South Africa lobbying to try to bring the 2018 World Cup to the U.S. If he really wants to increase our country’s bid chances, just make a two word promise: “No Vuvuzelas!”


The U.S. advanced in the World Cup with a goal in stoppage time. “This is fantastic” said most Americans – “What’s stoppage time?”


U.S. sports talk radio is amazing. Two ties and a 1-0 win have somehow turned into world domination.


The San Jose Sharks decided not to offer goalie Evgenie Nabokov a contract for next season. Maybe Nabokov should consider signing with the Maple Leafs. It would be one way to avoid playoff stress and pressure.

Well, we’ve finally found something big enough to cover the BP oil leak – General Stanley McChrystal’s mouth.

from Bill Littlejohn: “On Thursday, Queen Elizabeth II is due to make her first Wimbledon appearance in over 30 years.The last time she was there, she threw out the first ball that started the match between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut”


and from Marc Ragovin:

So fans thronged the streets of Los Angeles earlier this week, as the Lakers celebrated their 16th NBA championship. Not to be outdone, some Clippers fans gathered at a local Bob’s Big Boy to reminisce about the team’s really crisp shootaround on February 18.

Hump Day at the World Cup?

June 23, 2010

Wednesday being “Hump Day” at the World Cup for a number of reasons.

The first being of course England and the US trying to get over “the hump.”

Second being, since the English coach has forbidden any extracurricular events involving sex and/or alcohol for his team so far in the tourney, either result may put the Brits “over the hump.”

With France out, England hopes they can salvage their own World Cup first round with a win Wednesday. The English coach, however, has banned alcohol from the team’s accommodations and training facility. Doesn’t he realize for that Brits, beer is a performance enhancing drug?


Au revoir “les blues.” Can we say the French team just handed matches to their opponents?


Or as Gary Morton says, “The French are toast.”

Will the theme of the once highly rated French team at this year’s World Cup be “Waterloo?”

Some of the media in California are making much of the fact that former Governor and current candidate Jerry Brown and his wife now live in home worth $1.8 million in the Oakland Hills. $1.8 million. Or as Meg Whitman calls it, a day’s advertising budget.


Meanwhile, the College World Series is in full swing. The top display of amateur baseball talent since the Baltimore Orioles played the Kansas Ciity Royals.


General Stanley McChrystal has apparently resigned after Rolling Stone printed critical remarks he made about colleagues, including the vice-president. What’s more shocking, that a high level official would have to resign after shooting off his mouth in an interview, or that Biden was the subject and not the speaker.

Okay, since he basically committed premeditated career suicide with his Rolling Stones’ interview, anybody want to lay odds on how long it will take for General Stanley McChrystal to sign a contract as a commentator for Fox News?


In California, Some of the media are making much of the fact that Jerry Brown and his wife now live in home worth $1.8 million in the Oakland Hills. $1.8 million. Or as Meg Whitman calls it, a day’s advertising budget.