Posted tagged ‘Double Down jokes’

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Double trouble?

May 21, 2010

KFC originally envisioned the “Double Down” as a temporary promotion. But the fast food chain said the sandwich with two pieces of fried chicken for a bun has become so popular that they will keep selling it indefinitely. To paraphrase P.T. Barnum, no one ever went broke underestimating the taste for greasy, fattening foods of the American public.

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Tesla Motors and Toyota have announced a partnership to build electric cars in California. Does this mean Tesla will change their motto to “Ain’t no stopping us now?”

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Bizarre travel thought of the day. You cannot use cash to buy a beer onboard most airlines these days, but you can use cash to buy a one way ticket to Pakistan.

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Despite spending $68 million of her own money in the California GOP gubernatorial primary (so far), Meg Whitman has seen her 50 point lead in the polls over Steve Poizner drop to single digits. The former Ebay executive is particularly frustrated that the election didn’t just have a “Buy-it-now” button.

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You have to love it though, Poizner has spent $28 million of his own money. And he is getting traction out of accusing Whitman, who has spent $60 million of her own money, of buying the election.

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And this is all just to run as the GOP candidate for governor of a state in the midst of a huge budget crisis with no apparent way out. Haven’t seen rich people waste so much money on winning such a dubious prize since the last America’s Cup.

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Latest quote from Richard Blumenthal. “I wore the uniform” during Vietnam. Is he now saying he worked at McDonalds?

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At this point Blumenthal may own the distinction of being the U.S. politician who has most embarrassed himself while still keeping his pants zipped.

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Paul McCartney is playing at San Francisco’s A T and T Park in July. Not to say Sir Paul is getting old, but the Giants tried to sign him to play the outfield.

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Kevin Costner has funded a science team that has developed an “oil extracter.” And BP may be able to use the device to clean up their spill in the Gulf. Well, who better to be an expert on toxic messes than the man who made “Waterworld?”

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From Bill Littlejohn – Brett Favre told the Southern Mississippi University baseball team that if they make it to the College World Series, he’ll play for one more year. If they don’t make it to the World Series, he’ll play two more. Or maybe three, or maybe two…

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Sharks attacked?

April 15, 2010

Th San Jose Sharks opened yet another playoff series with a loss. And while it’s too late to change names now, maybe it might have been useful to remember, as impressive as their namesake was most of the way through Jaws, the shark killers did win in the end.

New San Jose Sharks playoff slogan for their fans? “Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.”

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In the meantime for fans looking for better news in the San Francisco area, the Giants’ magic number is 151.

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Scary thought for the day – Tiger Woods is only 34 years old. What will he do for a midlife crisis?

KFC’s new “Double Down” sandwich features two fried chicken patties instead of bread. They aren’t a bun, they’re death panels.

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KFC actually has a “healthier” version of the “Double Down” sandwich, with the bacon, cheese and “Colonel’s sauce” sandwiched between two pieces of grilled chicken. With all due respect, maybe people looking for a bacon, cheese and sauce sandwich aren’t going to be listing “healthy” as a top priority?

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The first braille porn book is out. Playboy has had a braille edition for years, but it has included only the written part. If the braille porn book sells and starts a trend, blind Playboy readers too can join in the great American male chorus: “But I only get it for the articles.”

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Elizabeth Taylor denies she is getting married for the ninth time. Note, it’s not necessarily that she’s denying getting married. It’s just that, like John McCain with his houses, she doesn’t remember how many marriages she has had.
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This next joke may not make sense to anyone under 40…but what the heck.

Today, April 15th, would have been the late Elizabeth Montgomery’s 76th birthday, who is best known for playing Samantha on the long-running television comedy “Bewitched.” At this point, Elizabeth would have been old enough that even she wouldn’t remember the difference between Dick Sargent and Dick York.

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April 15 also would have been Leonardo Da Vinci’s 557th birthday. And curiously enough the anniversary of his first appearance on the Larry King show.

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Sarah Palin has apparently made $12 million since leaving office as governor of Alaska. So when she asks ‘How’s that hopey-changey thing working out for ya?”, her own answer has to be “pretty darn well.”

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