Posted tagged ‘Canada hockey jokes’

Loud and louder…

February 26, 2010

At this point there’s a chance for a U.S. Canada rematch in the Olympic Gold medal hockey game. If that happens the only thing louder than Canada Hockey Place area in Vancouver will be the Norwegian curling team’s pants.


With women’s figure skating Thursday night, and with NBC’s tape delayed strategy on the West Coast, the top skaters didnt finish until around midnight, and the medal ceremony was later. So, Friday, men who work in offices with a number of women will probably find those women are about as useful as many men are during March Madness

A German speedskater who had been an alternate lost out on a chance to compete in the Olympics because he didn’t get a cellphone call. On the brighter side, he may sign a huge endorsement deal with Verizon – “Can you hear me now?”


During a healthcare discussion today, President Obama said to John McCain “the election’s over.” And McCain replied, “Don’t be so sure – they won’t be showing the final results until tonight on NBC.”

Okay, I have nothing against patriotism. But it is amusing to watch Americans celebrating medals in sports where most people in the country couldn’t even describe what the event is…. (Nordic combined, anyone?)


With all the classical and popular music choices, what is it with women figure skaters and Carmen? It’s becoming the equivalent of the beauty pageant contestants’ wish for “World Peace?”

Two male Canadian broadcasters suggested Johnny Weir’s costumes and “body language” set a bad example for boys and male skaters. They also joked he may have to take a gender test. Hmm, another analysis might be that any men who are that obsessed with the appearance of other men might themselves also at least take a sexuality test.


The California Assembly passed a resolution that would establish the first week of March as “Cuss Free Week.” Most Californians, however, would prefer their representatives simply had a week of behaving in a manner where they didn’t make their constituents feel like cussing.

Most Republicans have gotten over their initial anger at newly elected Senator Scott Brown’s decision to support the jobs bill. In fact, when Dick Cheney is fully recovered from his latest heart attack they have suggested he take Brown hunting.

The latest update in the U.S. healthcare wars: In a recent poll, a majority of Americans would oppose a move by the Senate to use a parliamentary procedure called ‘reconciliation.’ Well, yeah, but doesn’t “reconciliation” just conjure an image of an apologetic husband at a podium flanked by an unhappy looking wife?

After the mini-miracle on ice…

February 23, 2010

Canadians are still reeling from their hockey loss. And many vow their country will get revenge by someday soon by beating us at America’s real national sport. Just as soon as they can first crown a Canadian champion in hot dog eating.


Isnt beating Canada in hockey like beating a team from Los Angeles in plastic surgery?


Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir won Canada’s first ice dancing gold medal Monday night. Canadians are thrilled, but wonder…can either of them play goalie?


After the USA win over Canada, many Americans now refer to themselves as hockey fans. When then asked who they are rooting for to win the Stanley Cup, the number one response. – what’s the Stanley Cup?


Olympic gold medal figure skater Evan Lysacek has now stated publicly he is dating a fellow Olympic gold medalist — gymnast Nastia Liukin. This is really surprising. A male figure skater is dating a woman?


Okay, okay, so the U.S. beat Canada 5-3 in ice hockey. But while Canadians may be upset about this for a while, in a week Americans will forget about it and go back to focusing on games they really care about, like Farmville

After some serious efforts by her fans, including a Facebook group, Betty White may now actually host Saturday Night Live. But she IS old. How old? Betty remembers when SNL was actually funny


On Monday night in prime time ABC featured “the Bachelor,” NBC featured Olympic ice dancing, and Fox featured Jack Bauer torturing terrorists by showing them “the Bachelor” and ice dancing.


Commie pinko time.

Dick Cheney is resting comfortably after his “umpeenth” heart medical issue. When he is released from the hospital, however, the former Vice President has a great opportunity to advance the Republican cause of keeping government out of health care reform.

As an educated man he should be able to resign his government health insurance and prove at this point he can find a better plan on the open market.