Posted tagged ‘balloon boy jokes’

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The BCS and other hoaxes..

October 19, 2009

The Saints beat the Giants 48 to 27. New York hasn’t been shocked by that much scoring since the Letterman scandal broke.

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A Colorado sheriff now says the whole “Balloon Boy” incident was a hoax. Apparently the final straw was hearing that the parents were writing a book about the story with Clifford Irving.

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But okay, a boy accidentally getting into a balloon and floating away. Seems reasonably plausible. The Oakland Raiders beating the Philadelphia Eagles? Now that’s got to be a hoax.

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Actually, in his defense, Richard Heene, Falcon’s father, said he was preparing the balloon to help defend the country against the coming Martian attack on Halloween.

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The whole incident does illustrate one important lesson. When planning a conspiracy, it is best not to rely on the discretion of a six year old.

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Many in Washington are disappointed that despite some economic recovery, unemployment numbers are still high. On the bright side, those numbers may soon include Jim Zorn.

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Am not completely sure why the NFL rejected Rush Limbaugh as a potential owner for the St. Louis Rams. After all his insensitive remarks, can you think of a better expensive punishment?

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One bit of good news in Toronto. The Maple Leafs 0-6-1 start has pushed the Argonauts off the front page.

(translation for American readers, the Canadian Football League Toronto Argonauts do have 3 wins, but have a stranglehold on the title “Worst team in the league.”

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After the Cincinnati Bearcats trounced #21 South Florida, and have face two top 25 teams on their remaining schedule, they actually have a potential RPI (Rating Percentage Index) high enough to give them a legitimate claim at the BCS championship game should they win out.

Which explains, why behind closed doors at headquarters, BCS now stands for “Beat Cincinnati, SOMEONE.”

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USC was disappointed to be ranked 7th in the first BCS poll, despite being 4th in both other polls. Hate to give the BCS any credit, but come on..The Trojans lost to the 3-3 Washington Huskies, and barely beat unranked Notre Dame. And they haven’t played Stanford yet!

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Trial balloons…

October 15, 2009

Carney Lansford, fired yesterday by the San Francisco Giants, was quoted as saying “never take a hitting coach job with an offensively challenged team.” Yo, Carney, isn’t that exactly the kind of team that NEEDS a good hitting coach?

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Glad Falcon, the little Colorado boy, is safe. But let’s see, but apparently besides building balloons, his parents’ idea of family activities include tornado chasing and searching for extra-terrestrials. And mom and dad also both appeared on “Wife Swap.” Makes Jon and Kate almost look well-adjusted.

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Even the Octomom said “What were they thinking?”

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How did the rescuers hear that the boy had been in the attic all the time? “Tranquillity base here, the Falcon has never taken off?”

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Polaroid is bringing the instant camera back. Can’t imagine why. Any photo you take can’t be uploaded on a camera phone, posted on Facebook, or shared with a million people on the internet… Oops, never mind.
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Tonight’s 8-6 Phillies-Dodgers slugfest once again proved Yogi Berra knew what he was talking about – with his quote “Good pitching beats good hitting, and vice-versa.”

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The game featured four home runs. Which would have been at least eight in Yankee Stadium.

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Meghan McCain is taking some heat for a twitter photo she posted of herself in a pyjama top. She says if people don’t stop the criticism her the next pyjama photo she posts will feature her dad.

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Garth Brooks is coming out of retirement again. Wonder if his first gig will be singing the national anthem at a Minnesota Vikings game?

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A Louisiana justice of the peace claims he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have. Either that he’s trying to prevent future Democratic presidents.

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This may only make sense to Canadian readers, but…

Moncton, New Brunswick, will host a 2010 regular season Canadian Football League game between the Toronto Argonauts and the Saskatchewan Rough Riders. The town has been trying to land a CFL team for years. In a goodwill gesture from the U.S. to Canada, apparently Oakland has offered them the Raiders.

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From Alex Kaseberg: A survey ranked the 55 cities with the smartest residents down to the least smartest residents and Fresno finished last. Upon hearing this a Fresno resident asked “What’s a resident?”

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