Posted tagged ‘Alex Kaseberg’

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Random thoughts from across the world.

September 8, 2009

In the end, Pacman Jones did not sign with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. Apparently someone finally told him that the Mounties were real cops.

In President Obama’s speech to schoolchildren, he tells students that the key to success is to work hard and stay in school.

The Republican rebuttal, with an assist from reader Mark – the key to success is having rich parents who get tax cuts.

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More nastiness today from Jon Gosselin about his soon to be ex-wife, saying that he now “despises” her. The working title for the rest of the season “Jon and Kate plus Hate.”

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Sometimes, real life is weirder than any punchline or skit idea anyone can think up. Or maybe not, maybe this was an idea for a skit once. Now it is a restaurant chain in Asia. Modern Toilet. Chairs made out of toilet bowls, food served in mini-toilet bowls and urinals. The actual link is below.

http://www.moderntoilet.com.tw/en/about.asp

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Another great one from Alex Kaseberg:

There is a new video game where you pretend to play Beatles songs on fake instruments. They got the idea from the career of The Monkees.

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The blame game…

August 27, 2009

Louisville coach Rick Pitino says a sex scandal involving a woman accused of trying to extort him has been “pure hell” for his family and that he’s had enough. Well, if he had had “enough” he wouldn’t have “had” to end up on that table…

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Ever notice how the guys who most say it’s about their family, didn’t care enough about their family to avoid getting in trouble in the first place?
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Johan Santana will undergo season-ending elbow surgery, but insists he would have continued pitching had the Mets been in contention. Which means he could have had the surgery in May.

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The Phillies’ Ryan Madson, filling in for closer Brad Lidge, blew his fifth save in nine save situations. Lidge himself has blown nine save situations in 2009. In nearby Washington, D.C. they are still scratching their heads. “What’s a save situation?”

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In the Canadian Football League, the Montreal Alouettes, at 7-1, with no other team better than 4-3, certainly look unbeatable. The Alouettes, however, have been in four of the last six Grey Cups (the Canadian Super Bowl.) And they have lost all four.

Does this mean if they crumble again in the championship it will be known as a Shark Tank?

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US Air says they are raising their fees to check bags by $5. No word on how much they will charge to actually have the bag show up at your destination.

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Another good thought from Alex Kaseberg.

In the HBO series “Hard Knocks” Cincinnati Bengals QB Carson Palmer humiliated his center, Kyle Cook, on camera, by complaining that his hand stunk after placing it under Cook’s butt for the snap. What kind of ignorant and arrogant primma donna insults a guy so responsible for his own protection? Where did Palmer go to college? USC? Oh, yeah.

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Rats!

December 17, 2008

Scientists have found a 11 milion year old rat species still living in the Mekong Delta. The rat apparently was found in an original KFC bucket.

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Penn State football coach Joe Paterno, 82, just signed a three year contract extension. When asked if he thought this was risky, Paterno said, “No, he thought the University would survive the recession.”

(yeah, I know, it’s a variation on an old joke.)

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Also in Pennsylvania, the Phillies signed left-handed pitcher Jamie Moyer, 46, to a two year contract experience. When asked about it, Paterno reportedly replied “Well, they might have given him more years if Jamie had a little more experience.”

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This next joke basically belongs to Alex Kaseberg. I just tweaked it a little bit.

At a Iraq press conference, President Bush had to dodge two shoes thrown at him by a reporter. Apparently the New Iraq Times’ motto is now “All the News thats Foot to Print.”

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Now that Governor Blagojevich has been stopped from selling Obama’s Senate seat, there is talk of a special election in Illinois. So we’ll go back to putting someone in office the old-fashioned way. Buying one vote at a time.

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Actually President Bush is trying to help out. He has suggested that the state of Illinois let each party choose a candidate, but save the money they would have spent on the election.   Then W. will just have the Supreme Court decide.

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Governor Blagojevich still maintains he has done nothing wrong. He says his morals just have a wide stance.

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President elect Barack Obama’s team is not only full of smart people, but also good basketball players. As reported in USA Today, Obama’s high school basketball team won the Hawaii state championship. His education pick Ame Duncan played at Harvard, his future National Security Advisor James Jones played at Georgetown. And UN Ambassador pick Susan Rice and Attorney General pick Eric Holder both played in high school. Oh, and Obama’s personal aide Reggie Love? He played at Duke.

Just what Washington needs, another team that can beat the Wizards.

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