Left Coast Sports Babe

So this year’s NBA uniforms had one color on the front, another color on the back.   Which presumably at the post-game parties would confuse the heck out of the witnesses.

The Yogi Berra Museum removed Roger Clemens’ jersey from an exhibit , and the museum director said they were “trying to project the positive virtues of baseball.”

But did they forget what Yogi himself said about the men on the mound.

“All pitchers are liars or crybabies.”

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So last week millions of Americans watched as countless young hopeful people were whittled down to 24.  But besides the number of kids who still believe Clemens, American Idol chose their semifinalists.

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So after changing his mind on the Bush tax cuts, and going back and forth on the issue of whether or not he will accept public funding for the general election, Senator John McCain this week voted AGAINST an anti-torture bill.  No wonder Mitt Romney endorsed him.

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And the NBA has begun a discussion of putting franchises in Europe.  No word on what they will do in the interest of parity, with so many players willing to take salary cuts to play in Amsterdam.

Any truth to the rumor that if Roger Clemens takes the mound in 2008,  his entrance song  will be “When you wish upon a star?”

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Watching Roger being interviewed by congress brings to mind these actual lyrics from Elton John’s Rocket  Man… 

I’m not the man they think i am at home
Oh no no no i’m a rocket man
Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

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And Hillary Clinton has sent her daughter Chelsea to Hawaii to campaign this weekend.   Wonder how many hours it took her to convince Bill not to go instead.

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San Francisco manager Bruce Bochy said today his team is going to be one of the best in baseball at executing the fundamentals.  Translation, we still don’t have a cleanup hitter.

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And Kobe Bryant has announced that he has an injured ligament in his pinky finger, but that he will forego surgery and play through it.   Besides, it’s not like the pinky gets that much use…it’s on his passing hand.

So Florida State, perhaps in order to stave off a worse NCAA penalty, put their sports teams on self-imposed probation for two years.  For all those  athletes who haven’t been going to class, that’s one plus one.  

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And Mitt Romney endorsed John McCain today.    Mike Huckabee says that’s fine, he expects Romney’s endorsement tomorrow.

And by the way, isn’t it nice to know that Congress is focusing on issues that are so important to our country…

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Roger Clemens continues to insist he is innocent.  And when he is acquitted of all charges, he is going to help O.J. find the real killer.

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And presumably everyone has seen the looks Roger gave his ex-friend and trainer Brian McNamee…  All I can think of is “Who would have thought a little guy like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness?”

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After her string of recent losses, Hillary Clinton has chosen a new campaign song – “Sympathy for the Devil.”

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Today John McCain voted against an anti-torture bill in the Senate, which means in essence he voted in favor of waterboarding.   The Straight Talk Express has officially become a runaway train.

Okay, the news is not all bad for the Washington Wizards.  Sure, they’ve still lost eight in a row.  But they’ve been designated the official team of the Clinton campaign.

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And more from Washington.  Roger Clemens is apparently getting a warm reception in Congress.    Let’s see,  he’s arrogant, he’s been paid increasing sums of money to work less and less days per year, and he appears to be able to lie with aplomb.   Well, of course they like him, with that kind of record, the man belongs in Congress.   

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In college basketball, Vanderbilt beat Kentucky Tuesday night 93-52.  The last time Kentucky looked that bad, a Union army was involved.

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The Department of Homeland Security is reportedly working on adapting spy satellites for domestic surveillance.  It is reportedly a coincidence that their first satellite will have a Patriots logo.

The Washington Wizards have lost eight in a row.  If
this woeful performance keeps up the team may be
renamed the Washington Congressmen. 

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This just in, Mitt Romney is still out of the presidential race.

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Actually Romney did pick up some wins and
delegates, but for all the millions of dollars he spent, he never
got close to winning it all.   If the ex-Massachusetts governor can’t figure out what he wants to do next there should be a job waiting for him with the New York Yankees.

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Controversial caucuses, primaries, disputed delegates, superdelegates?  Just curious, who came up with this Democratic primary system… the BCS?

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While campaigning in Virginia this week, Hillary
Clinton promised there would be no new scandals
involving her husband, former President Bill Clinton.

And they say Obama’s campaign is a fairy tale?

So the NFC beat the AFC on Sunday in a meaningless game played in beautiful weather.

In other words, just like a typical Miami Dolphins home game.

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With a great game including a late 6 yard touchdown run, rookie Adrian Peterson narrowly won the MVP award – a red Cadillac –  over Terrell Owens.     No confirmation yet on the rumor that a teary eyed T.O. later said “Thats my car, man.”

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Back to politics.  The media reports that many older baby boomers prefer Hillary Clinton over Barack Obama, perhaps because they grew up accustomed to the polarizing politics of the 60s.

If that were true, how come the surviving members of the Grateful Dead reunited for a benefit concert for Obama? 

Of course, it is quite possible that none of them remember the 60s.

Many have questioned Brian McNamee, Roger Clemens’ ex-trainer would have kept all those items from his medical bag – syringes, bloody gauze pads, and drug vials.  When he had already testified under oath that Clemens was guilty of using steroids.  

But presumably he knew – without that kit, they might acquit.

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If Roger keeps up the public statements and denials at his current pace, we may soon be longing for the steroid issue to refocus on someone with the low key dignity of Barry Bonds.

As of today, Saturday Feb 9, Mitt Romney is still out of the presidential race.

And Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

Okay, what do the Republicans have left?

One candidate who believes that dinosaurs lived in biblical times.

And another candidate who can refute that because he was there.

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And the real reason Hillary loaned her campaign five million dollars?  Bill offered to go recruit some volunteer interns.

Making him a rare Mitt that won’t even hold up until Spring Training. 

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Mitt Romney said today he is getting out of the presidential race.  Which if his campaign to this point is any indication, means he will be back in the race tomorrow.

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 So Shaquille O’Neal says people “are going to be very surprised” about his role in
the team’s running game.

Specifically I suppose that Shaq would have ANY role in a team’s running game.

The Nevada High School football player who said he was duped by a man pretending to be a Division 1 football recruiter now says he made the story up.

The NCAA immediately issued a statement condemning the player’s actions, and saying that integrity was a cornerstone of college football.   They also reiterated that the reason they do not have a  football playoff system is to minimize academic stress for their student-athletes.  

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These next two from guest comic Nicholas Coombs.  (This blog assumes no responsibility for my friends’ good taste, or my own.)

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Final tally from Wednesday’s USA vs. Mexico soccer match.

4 goals
6 Yellow Cards
0 Green Cards

Both of Mexico’s goals came off free kicks. Should we be surprised that they found it so easy to get around US barriers? 
a surprise that Mexico found it so easy to get around America’s walls.

Even if we are entering the black hole of February.

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Happy retirement to Bobby Knight.  Guess he figured it was finally time to throw in the chair.

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A Nevada high school football player said he was duped into  believing he was recruited by a Division I college program.   Wonder how many similar complaints will be lodged against  Notre Dame.

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So Shaquille O’Neal is heading to Phoenix.  Guess at this point he couldn’t take the Heat.

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And okay, it’s still primary season so…

Hillary Clinton is now complaining she is being outspent.  Isn’t this like Bill Belichick complaining he is being spied on?

Primary story of the day….

CNN reports that more than 1000 people called the Bexar County Elections Department in Texas on Monday asking about their polling places for the Super Tuesday primary today.

But the Texas primary is March 4

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On a serious note,  it probably means something that the two candidates with the most momentum, Barack Obama and John McCain,  have something in common:

Obama opposed the Iraq war when it was popular.

McCain is pro-Iraq war when it is unpopular.

Could it be that Americans might actually want politicians who say what they believe in, as opposed to what the polls tell them?

That Maria Shriver would end up showing more political independence from her spouse than Hillary Clinton?

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A travel rant – United Airlines is going to start charging 25.00 for a second piece of checked luggage, because of the additonal fuel cost involved.     But if they  treat luggage like paying passengers, will the bags also get frequent flyer miles when United sends them three places before getting it to your destination?  

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Okay, apologies to Plaxico.  Had Brady pulled off a field goal drive to tie the game, and Manning had thrown a touchdown pass in OT, he would have been right on the money.

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When this football stuff is over maybe the Giants wide receiver should turn his talents towards being a presidential pollster.

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Bill Belichick denied again that his team cheats.  Besides, he said, those Giants fourth quarter plays weren’t on the tape.

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Okay, how many people in the world considered last fall that the New York Giants could win the Super Bowl, and that Hillary Clinton could lose Super Tuesday.

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Many people are just getting tired of the thought of having the same family back in power again. But enough about the Mannings, they may not want to elect Hillary Clinton either.

It is only about 350 days until the hype for Super Bowl XLIII starts..

Plaxico Burress, who predicted a 23-17 Giants win, practiced Saturday although he is recovering from ankle and knee injuries.  Presumably sustained during his efforts to put his foot squarely in his mouth.  

Where the primary is Feb 5, and Super Tuesday is Mardi Gras.

What’s the difference between Rudy Guiliani’s and John Edward’s lawn signs – and Mardi Gras beads?   Both represent millions of dollars spent, but the beads don’t become worthless until Wednesday.

“George W. Bush’s State of the Union speech was uncommonly defiant. Most presidents use their  last State of the  Union to list their achievements, but aides told Bush the speech needed  to be more than 5 minutes long.” 

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On Media Day a female television reporter proposed marriage to Tom Brady.  He graciously declined, saying he was “a one woman man.”  He then excused himself, saying he needed to call the mother of his baby before he went home to his girlfriend.

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John McCain reiterated this week that he is against torture.  In fact, he says one of his first acts as president will be to limit the length of the Super Bowl pre-game show.

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Super Bowl commercials go for over 2 million – roughly the cost of one A-Rod at bat.  Or, last year, one Roger Clemens inning.

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Hillary Clinton was very gracious to Barack Obama in tonight’s debate.  Of course, this week, despite their differences, he’s probably done less damage to her campaign than Bill. 
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