Youthful accomplishments

Roger Federer, 36, just won the Australian Open, his 20th Grand Slam title. “Such a talented young man” said Tom Brady


Kenley Jansen, on the slow @MLB free agent market “Maybe we need to go on strike.” Uh oh, more potential millionaire on billionaire violence?

Miami Marlins to install new netting at Marlins Park along baselines. CEO Derek Jeter “Safety of our fans will always be a priority for this organization.” Of course this year team will keep fans safer by encouraging them to stay at home.

Eagles RB, born in Hackney, a London borough, on the Super Bowl “Talking to my friends in Europe and my family in London I tell them it’s like playing in the Champions League final.” And many Americans are going “the what?”

IKEA founder #IngvarKamprad, 91, has died. His funeral will take place as soon as his family finishes assembling his coffin.

Remembering innocent days when if George W. Bush could string a sentence together we thought he was Presidential. Now Trump gets same credit if he doesn’t say something stark-raving bonkers.

Trump tells Piers Morgan in an interview ‘I’m not a feminist.”  Give the man his due, when he’s right, he’s right.

Trump claims Stormy Daniels is lying. If that’s true, she didn’t sign an NDA. So she can say anything she wants to Jimmy Kimmel. Pass. The. Popcorn

Meghan Markle is reportedly planning her own wedding speech. Bet she’s not promising to obey either. #yougogirl

Time to reset the mass shooting clock again. “Five dead in Pennsylvania shooting rampage.” Expect GOP “thoughts and prayers.” Unless killer was an immigrant.


Trump talks today about “decisive action” against the Taliban. Right. And is Mexico going to pay for that too?

Now @realDonaldTrump goes after Jay-Z. TAttack was almost as bad as when Trump attacked Eminem for insulting him. Oh wait, he didn’t! Never mind.


Family Research Council head Tony Perkins said evangelicals and conservatives had given Trump a “mulligan” over his past. Including alleged assaults, affairs & grabbing “by the pussy.” A “mulligan?” More like
mulligatawny stew.

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