Left Coast Sports Babe

Paris Hilton that is, a one-woman economic stimulus package to comedy writers.

Now she says she thought the cocaine in her purse was gum. Sort of puts a whole new slant on the concept of “Blowing bubbles.”

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But let’s see, mistaking cocaine for gum? Makes that “flaxseed oil” defense sound almost reasonable.

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I suppose Paris could have used the defense that she thought the marijuana was oregano, but that would have required at some point in her life that the woman had been in a kitchen.

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Lindsay Lohan says she is not an alcoholic or a drug user, and that she is “no longer young and irresponsible.” Of course not, she is now grown up and irresponsible.

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Burger King is reportedly in talks to be acquired by a private equity firm. The companies are said to be working out final stock purchase details, as in “Do you want fries with that?”

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President Obama called former President George W. Bush yesterday before his speech on the Iraq War. It was partly to be conciliatory and above politics, and also to tell W. that while Obama was redecorating the Oval Office he had ordered staff to put all of Bush’s art projects in a safe place.

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An attorney testified today in the McCourts’ divorce trial, that Frank McCourt told her he wasn’t going to sign a revised marital agreement that would share the Los Angeles Dodgers with his wife. If Frank really wanted to make Jamie, suffer, however, he would have given her the whole team.
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During practice yesterday, Kendall Langford of the Miami Dolphins apparently lost a 2.5 carat diamond earring valued at $50,000 on the field. It was the most ridiculous waste of money during the preseason since JaMarcus Russell was still doing drills with the Raiders.

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In the California leglislature, it’s another year, another deadlock. We can’t even call the California budget a political football – – you can actually pass a football.

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Also in Calfornia, in Carly Fiorina’s Senate debate with Barbara Boxer, Fiorina compared the state’s economic climate unfavorably to China’s, saying “China has done wonderful things to create jobs.”

This may be true, but even now in the California the unemployment rate isn’t so bad for eight-year olds.

This entry was posted on September 2, 2010 at 12:23 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: Dodgers jokes, Lindsay Lohan jokes, Paris Hilton jokes