Archive for August 21, 2009

More Brett – How can I miss you if you won’t go away?

August 21, 2009

Definition of eternity – Waiting behind Brett Favre for your turn in the voting booth.


ESPN said that Brett Favre’s debut, although rusty, was a hit. The only hit Packers fans might want to hear about in connection with Favre might be from Tom Cable.


Brett’s season may come down to his offensive line. Although Packers fans consider his real offensive line “I have signed with the Minnesota Vikings.”


When the player formerly known as Chad Johnson kicked the winning point after touchdown for Cincinnati against Denver, did the headlines read “Ocho Cinco 86s Broncos?”


The sale of the Chicago Cubs was finalized today, for a price reportedly in the $845 million range. The deal, which took 2 1/2 years to put together, will be known as “a LOT of Cash for Clunkers.”

The Evangelical Lutheran Church of America will lift a ban requiring gay and lesbian ministers to be celibate. Now individual congregations can hire homosexuals who are in committed relationships. Some ECLA members weren’t quite ready to remove the ban on having sex, so they wanted to restrict hiring to gays who were married,


SF Giants fans will get this one: (especially after tonight’s 6-3 nailbiter over the Rockies.)

Have you heard about the new Brian Wilson cocktail? Pour anything over ice, and a lot of it, just before he takes the mound.


From the always funny Alex Kaseberg:

The NFL is investigating Oakland Raider coach Tom Cable’s punching and fracturing the jaw of an assistant coach. The good news? It was the first decent hit by a Raider in two years.

Age discrimination.

August 21, 2009

A T &T is coming under fire for its policy not to rehire employees over 40 who had previously retired. They may lose in the courts, on the other hand they are likely to become the official phone company of the Green Bay Packers.


No one quite knows what Brett Favre’s role will be on the Vikings. One thing is for sure, they’re not going to let him anywhere NEAR the coin toss…..


Wherever Plaxico Burress ends up in prison, he will be a highly prized recruit for the inmates’ football team. When asked if he would consider playing football in prison, Plaxico reportedly answered that he would take a shot at it.


Plaxico Burress accepted a two year prison sentence sentence when he pled guilty to a weapons charge after accidentally shooting himself at a New York nightclub. Well, at least he answered that old question. “Is that a gun in your pants or are you just happy to see me?”


USC’s top-ranked football team at least temporarily has already lost four starters to pre-season injuries. This could completely alter the players’ fall plans – they might actually have to go to class..


Scientists used a CT scan on a 2,500 year old mummy at Stanford hospital, in preparation for an exhibition “Very Postmortem, Mummies and Medicine,” that will open in October in San Francisco. Apparently the scan revealed many fascinating details, including the fact he was buried holding a Brett Favre rookie card.


South African runner Caster Semenya is facing questions about her gender after winning the 800 meter race at the World Championships. Apparently the question came up after she put on a new track suit and didn’t ask anyone “Do these pants make me look fat?”

Oakland Raiders fans are equally divided over reports that their coach Tom Cable may have fought with an assistant coach and fractured the man’s jaw. Half think the coach should be suspended and the other half think the Raiders should sign him to play defense.

The Florida Marlins have gotten at least 10 hits per game for 15 consecutive games. Meanwhile, the San Francisco Giants have gotten 10 hits in a week for 15 consecutive weeks.


Manager Bruce Bochy of the Giants said he was not happy with his team’s approach to hitting. Which really surprised the players – their manager thinks they HAVE an approach to hitting?


Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez remain an item. Rumor has it Kate is a little frustrated by how much time baseball takes in A-Rod’s life, but he has assured her that he will have a lot more free time by the middle of October.