Archive for August 1, 2009

Testing, one, two, three, 104, testing…

August 1, 2009

In this summer forty years after the Apollo 11 moon landing, names keep oozing out from those 2003 steroid tests. And with all this focus on the past, I have a question. If Americans could put men on the moon, do people seriously think we don’t have the ingenuity to have come up with a currently undetectable Performance Enhancing drug?

For all those who want to rework the record books, we may need a little color coding on our asterisks.

As in one category for “steroid using hitter against steroid using pitcher.”

Another for “steroid using hitter against clean pitcher.”

And “clean hitter against steroid using pitcher.”

And of course, “clean against clean.”

And while we are at it, as mentioned earlier. How about green asterisks for amphetamines, white asterisks for players from the segregated era, black for pine tar, beige for cork….

Tacky joke alert.

In the NBC – National Baseball Congress – tournament, the summer college world series, the Alaska Goldpanners are playing the Liberal Bee Jays. Not named for a bird. Just the letters. Wonder if Sarah Palin and Bill Clinton will both show up to throw out the first pitch.


And Minnesota Vikings quarterback Tavaris Jackson was injured in a pre-season scrimmage. If it’s serious, wonder where the Vikings could pick up someone at the last minute who has shown any interest in playing in Minnesota?

It’s almost T.O time…

August 1, 2009

Terrell Owens doesn’t yet have his first catch as a Buffalo Bill, but he has his own cereal, T.O’s “Honey Toasted Oat”s, made by the same New York company that made “Flutie Flakes.” They chose Toasted Oat cereal because T.O. and Flake were redundant.

The cereal has sold well, and apparently tastes great. The worry is that you wake up later with a headache and wonder, “What was I thinking??


Honda had to recall over 400,000 cars because of a safety issue with their airbags. U.S. automakers have a different safety strategy, “Don’t have anyone drive your cars.”

A Japanese astronaut on the space station has taken part in an experiment by wearing the same pair of underwear for an entire month. Big deal, say residents of fraternity houses across America.