Left Coast Sports Babe

Okay, this is a really really bad pun alert. But lets get it out of the way first.

While many Americans are cancelling their trips because of flu worries, knitting club has decided to go ahead with their plans to attend a knitting convention.  Their reason, they decided to put purls before swine.

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In affirming the FCC’s right to fine broadcasters who use the F-word on the airline,  Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia in his opinion referred to the “foul-mouthed glitterari from Hollywood.”

As opposed to the foul-mouthed glittering former Vice President?  (Who in 2004 famously told Senator Patrick Leahy to  “f**k himself.”)

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President Obama was asked if we should close our borders with Mexico.

Like we could do that?

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Nostalgia is a relative thing.  These days, it’s about thinking of those trips to Mexico where you most worried about getting Montezuma’s revenge.

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After yet another early round playoff ouster, should the San Jose Sharks change their name to the San Jose Oysters?    Because they can be great, but never in a month without an “R” in it.

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“April is the cruelest month.”  Who knew T.S. Eliot was a Sharks fan?”

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The state of Texas has suspended high school sports, including baseball and softball,  through  May 11.    Which most Texans think is unfortunate but not a disaster, as it would be if the swine flu hit during football season.

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If you think you had a bad day at work, imagine what it’s like working in the Mexican Tourism Office.

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Taylor Hicks, the season five winner on American Idol, appeared on the show tonight and delivered a, well,  decent performance.  He told the remaining contestants,  the secrets were song selection,  bringing your  “A” game,  and being lucky enough to have been a contestant on season five.

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Yovani Gallardo of the Milwaukee Brewers not only pitched a shutout against the Pittsburgh Pirate, he hit the game-winning solo home run.

Maybe the San Francisco Giants could figure out a way for this guy – he could bat cleanup.

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Another joke that may only make sense to grouchy San Francisco Giants fans.   What can you say about Fred Lewis in left field?  Only that he makes fans think wistfully about the last few years of the defensive talents of Barry Bonds.

This entry was posted on April 30, 2009 at 12:12 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: American Idol jokes, San Jose Sharks jokes, Sharks jokes, swine flu jokes