No, that’s not a sport in a Harry Potter book, but a joke contest in Scotland. Here, for a little cross-Atlantic humor, are the winners….. Some of them prove that laughter is universal, some of them prove that we have absolutely nothing in common with Scotland and England except a language.
The winner, from Tim Vine ”I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.” And the rest of the top eight, with attribution.
2. David Gibson (as Ray Green): “I’m currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone.”
3. Emo Philips: “I picked up a hitchhiker. You gotta when you hit them.”
4. Jack Whitehall: “I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say ‘bought’ – I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.”
5. Gary Delaney: “As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog.”
6. John Bishop: “Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day.”
7. Bo Burnham: “What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.”
8. Gary Delaney: “Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it’s what he would have wanted.”
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And back on this side of the Atlantic..
Brett Favre threw two interceptions during the Vikings-Seahawks preseason game. So much for all those who said missing training camp would mean it would take Favre a long time to get into midseason form.
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President Obama went to New Orleans to honor the fifth anniversary of Katrina. A FEMA spokesman said “Seems like only yesterday.”
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So far the USA basketball team looks great at the FIBA World Basketball Championships. On the other hand, they’ve played Croatia and Slovenia. Thats the NBA equivalent of beating up on the Clippers.
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Despite a scandal involving prostitutes (and diapers), Louisiana Senator David Vitter easily won the GOP primary in his race to be re-elected. Maybe voters were just glad the prostitutes were female.
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Actually, from my point of view I suppose what a man or woman does in his or her private life is their own business, but Vitter should at least have second thoughts for voting against money for a stimulus.
(No word on how much the prostitutes were paid for stimulating HIS package.)
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Glenn Beck said of his controversial rally, that he wanted to take the politics out of civil rights. A fair goal…. but when you think of speakers that rise about politics, well, is there anyone but Beck who thinks of Sarah Palin?
Left Coast Sports Babe 