Posted tagged ‘McNabb jokes’

Poor performances.

November 17, 2010
Charles Rangel was found guilty on 10 counts by the House Ethics Committee. This was shocking news to most Americans – the House HAS ethics?
Despite stories of Donovan McNabb’s new $40 million contract being guaranteed, the Washington Redskins only have to pay $3.5 million if they cut him at the end of the season.  Translation, Brett Favre has a better chance of playing opening day in 2011 than McNabb.
Pick your punchline – bipartisan joke.
The Redskins’ being routed 59-28 by the Philadelphia Eagles night…..
a.  Was the most disappointing performance in Washington history, well, since the current lame-duck Congress.
b. Will be the most disappointing performance in Washington history, well, until the new Congress takes over.
In New Jersey, residents can now buy personalized license plates proclaiming that they are New Jersey Nets fans. Although the DMV has been instructed to give anyone who asks for such a plate a breathalyzer test.
Actually, there might be one reason to buy a New Jersey Nets plate.  As a ruse to cover up the embarrassment of actually being a Knicks fan.
A bomb threat Monday at Ohio State resulted in classes being cancelled in three academic buildings and the library being closed. At least that means no football players were affected.
In the first episode of “Sarah Palin’s Alaska,” Sarah showed off a “baby-gate” on the stairs that she said was not only for Trig, but to keep her 16 year old daughter Willow’s boyfriend from going upstairs. Yeah, that worked out so well with Bristol.
Facebook is starting up an email application. Let’s see, so this means the site could thus be used for both things you post casually to share with hundreds of people, as well as private communications between only you and your closest friends. What could possibly go wrong?
The makers of “Four Loko”, a sweet alcoholic drink, have announced they will remove caffeine from their product.  Apparently the FDA is planning to ban caffeinated alcoholic beverages as unsafe. Wow. Good thing no one’s ever tried to put whiskey, sugar and cream in coffee.
Cam Newton of Auburn remains eligible while the NCAA and FBI investigate allegations of him or his family being paid for him to choose a university.  But the Heisman committee may be justifiably afraid of voting for someone who may end up stripped of their trophy.
Meanwhile there’s always Oregon’s LaMichael James, perhaps the best running back in the country.   He’s only on two years probation (legal, not academic) from this past spring, after serving 10 days in jail for harrassing his former girlfriend.
And they wonder why some NFL players seem to think they can get away with anything.
Carnival Cruise Lines has cancelled all sailings on the Splendour through mid January because of the fire  
The bad news for many travelers, they won’t be spending the holidays at sea with their families. The good news for some travelers, they won’t be spending the holidays at sea with their families.
 

Timing is everything:  Lloyd’s Register, the international standards organization for ship classification and design , apparently is working with several companies to look into the feasibility of nuclear-powered commercial ships, including cruise ships.

I can see it now, the Carnival Glow Worm.