Posted tagged ‘Joe Biden’

After the election…

November 6, 2008

It should be at least a few weeks before the first candidates declare for 2012.

 

One day after the election, Barack Obama is working on his transition team.  And Joe Biden is just finishing delivering his VP acceptance speech.

Sarah Palin said she doesn’t believe she cost John Palin a single vote.  Well, Obama may have won most of the swing states, but Palin certainly owns the state of denial.

After the election there were plenty of phone calls.  George W.  Bush and Dick Cheney called John McCain to offer condolences.  And Bill Clinton called Sarah Palin to offer to buy her lunch.

After the end of the baseball season Manny Ramirez said he wanted a big longterm contract, saying  “I want to see who is the highest bidder. Gas is up and so am I,”

Yeah, proving exactly why smart teams won’t sign him to a long term contract…

_

There are reports that Major League Baseball agents are scrambling to sign their clients’ big contracts before January 1,  when President-Elect Obama’s expected tax increases will hit multi-millionaires.   

So who knew, they may not make the playoffs, but the Yankees could at least help pay off our national debt.

And voters in San Francisco overwhelmingly rejected a measure that would have renamed a local sewage plant after George W. Bush.  Of course, San Franciscans being San Franciscans, no word as to whether they thought the renaming would be unfair to the president,  or to the sewage plant.

Honoring Mr. Blackwell..

October 24, 2008

Mr. Blackwell died this week. In his honor, the Republicans are establishing an award: it’s for spending the most money you can while still looking like you shop at Wal-Mart.

By the way, to any new readers, this is primarily a sports jokes blog, with politics thrown in.    Until November 4, however, it may be the other way around.   And while I will cheerfully attempt jokes about anyone, I am an unabashed supporter of Barack Obama.    (Besides, alas, he’s not that funny.)  For any McCain-Palin fans, I hope you have a sense of humor about it, otherwise check back post-election.  I do promise some Biden jokes.

John McCain accused Barack Obama of recently changing his tax plan while running for President.   As opposed to himself,  who changed his tax plan back when he decided to run for President.

Football coach Rich Rodriguez agreed to terms with the University of Michigan back in January.  But he just finally on Friday signed the six year deal  worth an estimated $2.5 million a year. 

Good thing too, with all those other schools just waiting to steal away a 2 and 5 coach.

 –

After Barry Bonds sat out most of the 2006 season after problems with knee surgery performed by his personal doctor, now comes the news that Tom Brady’s personal surgeon may have botched his knee surgery as well.

Meanwhile, in the NBA, several players have suggested to Kobe Bryant that perhaps he should look beyond the Lakers team physician for a second opinion about HIS knee.

The fall classic…

October 23, 2008

World Series or not, most folks in the Tampa area still aren’t really into their baseball team yet.   In fact, when a local newspaper asked residents what they thought about the Rays,  the most common response – “It’s best to use sunscreen. ” 

How can you tell a  Rays bandwagon fan?

They’re at the game.

How can you tell a Phillies bandwagon fan? 

They actually cheer.

By the way, thanks to reader Mike Bush of Santa Barbara who reminded me that  they are the Tampa Bay Rays, not the Tampa Rays, and that Tampa Bay is not a city.   It’s the Tampa -St. Pete -Clearwater area.    And having just been to the stadium this summer, I know it’s in St. Petersburg.    But Tampa is easier to write. 

Of course, they aren’t the Miami Marlins either.  Or the Denver Rockies.  Or for that matter the Phoenix Diamondbacks.   What is it about expansion teams.  One city’s not enough, they have to claim the whole state?   

The Republican National Committee spent $150,000 on campaign clothes and accessories for Sarah Palin.    $150,000!   For about two months.  Who was selling them the clothes?  Scott Boras?

Actually for as poorly as the campaign is doing in October, you’d expect most of the outfits to have pinstripes. 

In related news, the Obama campaign admitted spending about $50  recently on accessories for Joe Biden.   All on rolls of duct tape.  For his mouth.

And this from Nick Coombs:  Senator John McCain chided Barack Obama for saying nice things about the Rays while having previously said he was rooting for the Phillies.  Actually McCain was disappointed the A’s didn’t make it, he would have loved an all-Philadelphia world series.

Late night thoughts…

October 18, 2008

What a weird world we live in, when a presidential candidate apologizes to David Letterman for missing a show, but doesn’t apologize to the American public for missing more votes than anyone else in the Senate.

After weeks of being lampooned by Tina Fey, Sarah Palin showed up in person on Saturday Night Live.  Apparently Joe Biden also inquired about coming to speak on the show sometime,  but NBC informed him that the program only runs for an hour and a half.

It’s now the first of October…

September 30, 2008

We’re officially in October.  Or as New Yorkers now refer to it – football season.

There are rumors that Sarah Palin is prepping for the debate by reading Wikipedia.  But today she joked about Joe Biden’s age.  Apparently she hasn’t yet read the entry about her running mate.

Sarah Palin also said of Biden “I’ve been hearing about his speeches since I was in the second grade.”  Second grade?  Impressive.  Wonder when she heard about his speeches?   Presumably listening to the radio while looking out the window for Russia?

 

There’s a new election scandal (true) in Canada.  The Liberal party just figured out now that Prime Minister Stephen Harper gave a speech in 2003 copied almost word for word from Australia’s Prime Minister John Martin?

Five years after the fact?  Who’s running their campaign anyway, former U.S. employees of FEMA?


And early voting began Tuesday in Ohio, making citizens of the state the first to cast ballots for the next president.  Well, considering the Browns, Bengals, Indians and Reds, guess it’s fair that Ohio is first in SOMETHING.

A new polls indicates that 70 percent of Americans now disapprove of George W. Bush.   And four percent had no opinion.    Which is shocking news.  26 percent still back him?