Posted tagged ‘Cincinnati Bengals’

“Show us the plan” before we show you the money?

November 21, 2008

Congressional Democrats said they were wary of just handing out money to  automakers, and Nancy Pelosi said that “until they show us the plan we cannot show them the money.” 

Now there is a concept.  Too bad we can’t pay our taxes the same way.

Of course, if Detroit had had a plan, they probably wouldn’t need the money.

And around the sports world,  many season ticket holders are wishing they could make the same deal.

The Coast Guard intercepted a suspicious looking boat off the coast of Baja and seized over 10,000 pounds of marijuana that was apparently headed for California.   In related news, 7-11 downgraded their California profit forecasts.

 

Different take on the same story – bad pun alert –

The Coast Guard managed to retrieve more than 130 bales of marijuana thrown overboard by a speedboat they were pursuing.

Guess they wanted to avoid a high tide.

 

The CIncinnati Bengals lost their ninth game Thursday night, after Chad Johnson was benched for undisclosed reason.    Or in other words, at least for tonight  Ocho Cinco was Ocho Seite’d.

20 members of the Washington Redskins are currently leading at their positions in fan balloting for the Pro Bowl.  Well, it might be good for the fans of the game.  The Redskins are looking less and less likely to be banged up from playoff games.

Also in Washington, injured point guard Gilbert Arenas, has said that if the 1-7 Wizards finish in last place that it could be “for the better.”  Well,  if his knee doesn’t improve, Gilbert could have a great future as spokesman for the Republican National Committee.

Arenas made the comments at Madame Tussaud’s wax museum, while unveiling a figure of himself.  Afterwards, officials at Madame Tussaud’s promised to rework Gilbert’s statue, so it would more accurately show him with his foot in his mouth.

 

Rumors have it that Hillary Clinton will be officially announced as Obama’s pick for Secretary of State.   Well, this won’t solve our nation’s problems, but it does mean one cheerful thing:  Bill Clinton jokes are back.

 

Ken Griffey Jr. became the newest American Public Diplomacy Envoy this week. 

Not quite sure what that is, but it sounds like a good fit.  Because our Diplomacy over the last few years has been as banged up as Griffey.

 

Lions and Bengals and Bears, oh my…

November 16, 2008

As the Lions continued their quest for a perfect season by losing a tenth game in the row….

The CIncinnati Bengals played a true stinker of a game, and still ended up tying the Philadelphia Eagles 13-13 after neither team could score in overtime.  

But really, tying the Cincinnati Bengals?  Isn’t that like french kissing your sister?

Or getting drunk, trying to kiss your sister, and kissing your brother-in-law?

And Sunday on 60 Minutes, Barack Obama reiterated his call for a playoff system for the top college teams.  Was there a hometown bias?    Based on their earlier 37-3 loss to the Green Bay Packers, the Chicago Bears might just qualify.

And as we start thinking about the inaugural:

In 1841, William Henry Harrison gave the longest inauguration speech in history, almost two hours, in bitter cold weather.  He caught pneumonia and died a month later.  Well, it’s a good thing that there is no inaugural speech for the Vice President. 

Mike Huckabee is getting his own show on Fox News.  Not to be outdone, Sarah Palin will be getting her own show too: “Northern Overexposure.”

This just in…

October 26, 2008

John McCain says his campaign is going well.  Yep, any day now he and Governor Palin will unfurl the banner reading “Mission Accomplished.”

Ralph Nader says he’s set a record by giving 17 campaign speeches yesterday in Massachusetts totaling 255 minutes.

Amazing…  Nader HAS 17 supporters in Massachusetts?

A campaign spokesman said the speeches were to “was to raise awareness that Nader is running for president as an independent.  ” and that “two-thirds of the nation doesn’t realize it.”  The other one-third , of course, realizes it, but doesn’t care.

 

The San Diego Chargers and New Orleans Saints played a regular season game Sunday in London. It’s part of the NFL’s new plan to disappoint fans on two continents.

As we approach Halloween and people are working on their costumes, rumor has it members of the Cincinnati Bengals are planning to come as professional football players.

As we approach Halloween…

October 21, 2008

Most Americans are working on their costumes…
Rumor has it members of the Cincinnati Bengals are planning to come as professional football players.


Some people like to dress up for Halloween as cheerleaders, athletes, boy or girl scouts, something from their younger lives…. Which is why John McCain is going as a maverick.

Online bidding went as high as $65,100 per seat for each PSL (personal seat license) for the best seats to New York Jets seats in the new Meadowlands stadium, which is scheduled to open in 2010.  Lucky winners will get to pay $700 per ticket to the games themselves.

The most upset people in New York about these auction prices?  Yankees management, who wonder “Why didn’t we think of this?” 

A month ago, the Dallas Cowboys were 3-0, and the stock market was over 11,000.  Guess maybe they really are America’s team.

And John McCain said he just “loves being an underdog.”  Finally, the real reason he picked Sarah Palin.