Left Coast Sports Babe

Vancouver Canucks goalie Roberto Luongo has announced he will skip the NHL All-Star game to spend  time with his pregnant wife, Gina

This is another example of  why the NHL is different from the NBA.  In the NHL
they get their WIVES pregnant….

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USC Coach Pete Carroll is talking to the Atlanta Falcons about their head coaching job.   He figures within a few years he could have the Falcons on a level where they might actually be able to beat the Trojans.

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And after New Hampshire, pundits are also referring to Fred Thompson as the “Comeback Kid.”  As in, “Come back to earth, the ride’s over.”

June Jones said of his move to SMU from Hawaii that “you’re talking about the NFL and a Pop Warner team.”  Yeah, well he may have left a strong Pop Warner team, but wait until he realizes he’s jumped to the NCAA equivalent of the Miami Dolphins.

For most of Texas, it’s Friday night lights, for the 1-11 Mustangs last year it was usually Saturday night lights out.

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And can someone explain to me how a candidate can have over a 20 point lead in New Hampshire, still have about a 15 point lead on January 1, win by 3 percent, and call herself the “Comeback Girl?”

This is like the New England Patriots referring to themselves as the “Comeback Kids” after they trailed in one game to the Ravens.

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And this year’s BCS game between LSU and Ohio State drew one of the lowest championship game ratings ever.  Hard to imagine, with America’s rich tradition of bowl games almost a week after New Years Day. 

Last year LSU said they would graduate 49% of its
football players and 37% of its black players – compared
to a 68% overall graduation rate.

After the Tigers’ victory over OSU in the BCS title
game Monday night, coach Les Miles said of his school
“It’s a great football program and a great place to
get an education.”

Yeah, just not at the same time.

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 For the second year in a row in a BCS game, Ohio State did jump out to a lead.  Maybe we should call them the chewing gum team.  Good for a few minutes.

(yes, I am aware there are all kinds of R-rated ways to rewrite that line.)

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If Hillary Clinton loses in New Hampshire Tuesday will they refer to her as the “Don’t comeback kid?”

Or refer to her and fellow New Yorker Rudy Giuliani as the “Go back” kids?
 

Finally.  There are contests during March Madness for fans to try to pick the winner of each and every NCAA tournament game.   For college football, it would be hard enough to find fans who could NAME every NCAA bowl game.

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And bad news for the New England Patriots.   Apparently ESPN just referred to them as “inevitable.”

So Hillary Clinton started out with the top reputation, most money and biggest lineup of Democratic stars behind her.   Yet she may well end up in second place.

All of a sudden it doesn’t seem so odd that she became a Yankees fan.

There was a silver lining to Notre Dame’s terrible 2007.  At least Fighting Irish fans didn’t have to watch their team lose in a bowl game.

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 Isiah Thomas said the Knicks would win a title.  This  could be true – The Biggest Losers.

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Colt Brennan, the star quarterback for Hawaii, is actually a convicted felon from his days at  the University of Colorado, when he was involved in a sexual assault scandal.   
So while his Sugar Bowl performance may have damaged his chances with most NFL teams, he  still has an excellent chance of being drafted by the Bengals.

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And back to politics. 

John Edwards has  largely abandoned his positive campaign strategy.  Today he said “I am not the candidate of glitz. I am not the candidate of glamor; nor do I claim to be.”

If he were the candidate of glitz and glamor, heaven only knows what he would spend on a haircut…

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And okay,  so Obama has won Iowa.  But now he has to campaign in California.  Where we say we are open minded but actually have deep-rooted prejudices.  Is it possible that the Golden State might actually vote for a recent ex-SMOKER?  (worse yet, of cigarettes.)

So many people say that Barack Obama is the rock star of the Democratic party, but he isn’t old enough to be President.  Well, looking around at the recent concert success of Led Zeppelin, the Rolling Stones and Eric Clapton, I think he’s plenty old enough to be president.  He’s just not old enough to be a rock star.

So Rudy Giuliani was asked how he expected to do in the Iowa caucuses.  His reply – somewhere in the neighborhood of 9  – 11 percent.

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And in an effort to be more humane, China is changing their preferred execution method from a gunshot to lethal injection.  Apparently they have discovered there is an unhealthy level of lead in bullets.

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The  San Francisco 49ers today fired their offensive coordinator.   This comes as a shock to many 49ers fans, who were unaware the Niners had an offensive coordinator.

So while USC fans whine after their Rose Bowl win that they really should have been in the title game, it’s pretty clear they forgot a BCS Cardinal rule – Better Crush Stanford.

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And as to the excuse that USC had some injuries during the Stanford game…didn’t Florida State just come within seven points of Kentucky while missing 36 players?

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Dennis Kucinich just asked his supporters to choose Barack Obama as their second choice in the Iowa caucuses.  Which is great news for Obama – it probably means at least six or seven more votes.

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Mike Huckabee continues in his quest to appeal to the most conservative Christian voters.  First the Christmas commercial talking about religion,  now he is using the Christian fish symbol as a backdrop   And apparently his next ad will show people co-existing with dinosaurs.  In fact, that ad may run as soon as his staff locates some good pictures from early Rolling Stone concerts. 

So the Dolphins fired Randy Mueller after a 1-15
season.  Which will put the new GM in a similar
position to the next US president.  Nowhere to go but
up, but look at the mess they will inherit.

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Bill Billick wanted to return for a 10th season as
Baltimore’s head coach.   But quoth the Ravens
“Nevermore.”

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And Jose Canesco, who might turn out to be the most
honest man in baseball, is writing a sequel to his
book “Juiced.”  The title is reportedly “Vindicated,”
though Canseco would have preferred “Nyah nyah ne nyah
nyah.”

So what do Barack Obama and the Minneapolis Timberwolves have in common?

Both would be thrilled with a few wins in January.

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And here’s a thought to make you feel more secure if you have to fly this week.

By now,  we are all used to the 3 ounce rule at airports.  No gels, liquids, or similar substance over 3.4 ounces.  And if, like me, you prefer to bring nearly empty bottles of stuff on a trip so you can toss the empty containers when you are finished with them, you are out of luck, because the CONTAINER size must also not exceed 3.4 ounces.     Because apparently you could combine a few bottles of 3 ounce liquids in a larger bottle to create a bomb.   So that half empty  8 ounce shampoo bottle is a serious security risk and must be thrown away or checked.

Okay, fine, so you buy this madness, and work it out with little bottles, even if that means spilling half your liquids putting them in smaller containers.  Or chasing all over town looking for miniatures.  

And then you get through security tired and thirsty.  So, time for a soda or water.  Which they sell in… 20 ounce plastic bottles?!!!    

But don’t worry, you should still feel safe.  Because apparently the terrorists don’t know about the soda bottles.  Don’t tell them.

So creationist Republican candidate Mike Huckabee is refusing to apologize for his religious Christmas advertisement aimed at conservative Christian voters.    After all, he says at this point in the campaign “it’s the survival of the fittest.”

Florida State will have 36 players ineligible for the Music City Bowl in Nashville on December 31, mostly for academic reasons. 

So should the Seminoles take the field to the strains of Carrie Underwood singing “Before He Cheats?”

So Mike Huckabee is now acting like he is somehow more qualified to be president than Mitt Romney because he shot a pheasant while Romney only bagged “small varmits.”

By that logic, the Republicans should be drafting Cheney in 2008.  After all, he bagged a lawyer.

More snide stuff tomorrow…but today,  just Merry Christmas or Happy Whatever You Celebrate and a special thanks to the writers who have in one way or another been incredibly helpful this year.  Apologies to whoever I know I have forgotten.

In alphabetical order

Glenn Dickey

Will Durst

Tom Fitzgerald

Leah Garchik

Cam Hutchinson 

Alex Kaseberg

Bill Littlejohn

Hartley Miller

Scott Ostler

Dwight Perry

Ken Rasak

And thanks to all the politicians and sports figures who make the world the kind of place where sometimes you don’t even need a punchline.  And thank you to everyone who reads this.  

Janice Hough

So Kobe Bryant has now scored 20,000 points.  Amazing, that´s probably includes almost a dozen assists.

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And Mike Bellotti says he has turned down the UCLA coaching job.   ” I have been, and continue to be, 100 percent committed to the University of Oregon and our pursuit of a national championship.”

Translation, the Bruins didnt offer him enough money.

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So Condoleeza Rice is criticizing Mike Huckabee for saying Bush has a go-it-alone foreign policy.

She says it is absolutely not true, that “the President always consults with Cheney and me.”

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And more problems with truthiness for Mitt Romney, as it has now come out that neither he nor his father George  marched with Martin Luther King.  Despite the fact that Romney repeated the story about his father last month.

But he did stay at a Holiday Inn Express once. 

So T.O. accused Jessica Simpson of being a distraction?

Isn’t that like Bill Bilichick accusing other teams of cheating?

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And Tom Tancredo dropped out of the presidential race and endorsed Mitt Romney.

This is shocking, Tom Tancredo was running for president?

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As the bowl season begins NBC is considering a special on Notre Dame’s recent BCS history.  The show will be titled “American Idle.” 

And regarding Roger Clemens’ angry declaration that he never “took steroids.”

No doubt, with his reputation I am sure they were given to him for nothing.

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But considering now that the best pure hitter of the modern era is banned for gambling, and both the best power pitcher and hitter are alleged to have taken steroids, shouldn’t we just hang an asterisk banner in front of the Hall of Fame and have done with it? 

Last weekend, Eli Manning broke Joe Namath’s

record for interceptions.  But if we are counting

Namath’s bad passes shouldnt he get credit for the one to Suzy Kolber?