Left Coast Sports Babe

And by the way, isn’t it nice to know that Congress is focusing on issues that are so important to our country…

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Roger Clemens continues to insist he is innocent.  And when he is acquitted of all charges, he is going to help O.J. find the real killer.

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And presumably everyone has seen the looks Roger gave his ex-friend and trainer Brian McNamee…  All I can think of is “Who would have thought a little guy like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness?”

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After her string of recent losses, Hillary Clinton has chosen a new campaign song – “Sympathy for the Devil.”

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Today John McCain voted against an anti-torture bill in the Senate, which means in essence he voted in favor of waterboarding.   The Straight Talk Express has officially become a runaway train.

Okay, the news is not all bad for the Washington Wizards.  Sure, they’ve still lost eight in a row.  But they’ve been designated the official team of the Clinton campaign.

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And more from Washington.  Roger Clemens is apparently getting a warm reception in Congress.    Let’s see,  he’s arrogant, he’s been paid increasing sums of money to work less and less days per year, and he appears to be able to lie with aplomb.   Well, of course they like him, with that kind of record, the man belongs in Congress.   

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In college basketball, Vanderbilt beat Kentucky Tuesday night 93-52.  The last time Kentucky looked that bad, a Union army was involved.

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The Department of Homeland Security is reportedly working on adapting spy satellites for domestic surveillance.  It is reportedly a coincidence that their first satellite will have a Patriots logo.

The Washington Wizards have lost eight in a row.  If
this woeful performance keeps up the team may be
renamed the Washington Congressmen. 

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This just in, Mitt Romney is still out of the presidential race.

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Actually Romney did pick up some wins and
delegates, but for all the millions of dollars he spent, he never
got close to winning it all.   If the ex-Massachusetts governor can’t figure out what he wants to do next there should be a job waiting for him with the New York Yankees.

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Controversial caucuses, primaries, disputed delegates, superdelegates?  Just curious, who came up with this Democratic primary system… the BCS?

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While campaigning in Virginia this week, Hillary
Clinton promised there would be no new scandals
involving her husband, former President Bill Clinton.

And they say Obama’s campaign is a fairy tale?

So the NFC beat the AFC on Sunday in a meaningless game played in beautiful weather.

In other words, just like a typical Miami Dolphins home game.

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With a great game including a late 6 yard touchdown run, rookie Adrian Peterson narrowly won the MVP award – a red Cadillac –  over Terrell Owens.     No confirmation yet on the rumor that a teary eyed T.O. later said “Thats my car, man.”

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Back to politics.  The media reports that many older baby boomers prefer Hillary Clinton over Barack Obama, perhaps because they grew up accustomed to the polarizing politics of the 60s.

If that were true, how come the surviving members of the Grateful Dead reunited for a benefit concert for Obama? 

Of course, it is quite possible that none of them remember the 60s.

Many have questioned Brian McNamee, Roger Clemens’ ex-trainer would have kept all those items from his medical bag – syringes, bloody gauze pads, and drug vials.  When he had already testified under oath that Clemens was guilty of using steroids.  

But presumably he knew – without that kit, they might acquit.

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If Roger keeps up the public statements and denials at his current pace, we may soon be longing for the steroid issue to refocus on someone with the low key dignity of Barry Bonds.

As of today, Saturday Feb 9, Mitt Romney is still out of the presidential race.

And Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

Okay, what do the Republicans have left?

One candidate who believes that dinosaurs lived in biblical times.

And another candidate who can refute that because he was there.

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And the real reason Hillary loaned her campaign five million dollars?  Bill offered to go recruit some volunteer interns.

Making him a rare Mitt that won’t even hold up until Spring Training. 

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Mitt Romney said today he is getting out of the presidential race.  Which if his campaign to this point is any indication, means he will be back in the race tomorrow.

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 So Shaquille O’Neal says people “are going to be very surprised” about his role in
the team’s running game.

Specifically I suppose that Shaq would have ANY role in a team’s running game.

The Nevada High School football player who said he was duped by a man pretending to be a Division 1 football recruiter now says he made the story up.

The NCAA immediately issued a statement condemning the player’s actions, and saying that integrity was a cornerstone of college football.   They also reiterated that the reason they do not have a  football playoff system is to minimize academic stress for their student-athletes.  

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These next two from guest comic Nicholas Coombs.  (This blog assumes no responsibility for my friends’ good taste, or my own.)

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Final tally from Wednesday’s USA vs. Mexico soccer match.

4 goals
6 Yellow Cards
0 Green Cards

Both of Mexico’s goals came off free kicks. Should we be surprised that they found it so easy to get around US barriers? 
a surprise that Mexico found it so easy to get around America’s walls.

Even if we are entering the black hole of February.

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Happy retirement to Bobby Knight.  Guess he figured it was finally time to throw in the chair.

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A Nevada high school football player said he was duped into  believing he was recruited by a Division I college program.   Wonder how many similar complaints will be lodged against  Notre Dame.

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So Shaquille O’Neal is heading to Phoenix.  Guess at this point he couldn’t take the Heat.

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And okay, it’s still primary season so…

Hillary Clinton is now complaining she is being outspent.  Isn’t this like Bill Belichick complaining he is being spied on?

Primary story of the day….

CNN reports that more than 1000 people called the Bexar County Elections Department in Texas on Monday asking about their polling places for the Super Tuesday primary today.

But the Texas primary is March 4

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On a serious note,  it probably means something that the two candidates with the most momentum, Barack Obama and John McCain,  have something in common:

Obama opposed the Iraq war when it was popular.

McCain is pro-Iraq war when it is unpopular.

Could it be that Americans might actually want politicians who say what they believe in, as opposed to what the polls tell them?

That Maria Shriver would end up showing more political independence from her spouse than Hillary Clinton?

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A travel rant – United Airlines is going to start charging 25.00 for a second piece of checked luggage, because of the additonal fuel cost involved.     But if they  treat luggage like paying passengers, will the bags also get frequent flyer miles when United sends them three places before getting it to your destination?  

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Okay, apologies to Plaxico.  Had Brady pulled off a field goal drive to tie the game, and Manning had thrown a touchdown pass in OT, he would have been right on the money.

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When this football stuff is over maybe the Giants wide receiver should turn his talents towards being a presidential pollster.

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Bill Belichick denied again that his team cheats.  Besides, he said, those Giants fourth quarter plays weren’t on the tape.

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Okay, how many people in the world considered last fall that the New York Giants could win the Super Bowl, and that Hillary Clinton could lose Super Tuesday.

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Many people are just getting tired of the thought of having the same family back in power again. But enough about the Mannings, they may not want to elect Hillary Clinton either.

It is only about 350 days until the hype for Super Bowl XLIII starts..

Plaxico Burress, who predicted a 23-17 Giants win, practiced Saturday although he is recovering from ankle and knee injuries.  Presumably sustained during his efforts to put his foot squarely in his mouth.  

Where the primary is Feb 5, and Super Tuesday is Mardi Gras.

What’s the difference between Rudy Guiliani’s and John Edward’s lawn signs – and Mardi Gras beads?   Both represent millions of dollars spent, but the beads don’t become worthless until Wednesday.

“George W. Bush’s State of the Union speech was uncommonly defiant. Most presidents use their  last State of the  Union to list their achievements, but aides told Bush the speech needed  to be more than 5 minutes long.” 

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On Media Day a female television reporter proposed marriage to Tom Brady.  He graciously declined, saying he was “a one woman man.”  He then excused himself, saying he needed to call the mother of his baby before he went home to his girlfriend.

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John McCain reiterated this week that he is against torture.  In fact, he says one of his first acts as president will be to limit the length of the Super Bowl pre-game show.

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Super Bowl commercials go for over 2 million – roughly the cost of one A-Rod at bat.  Or, last year, one Roger Clemens inning.

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Hillary Clinton was very gracious to Barack Obama in tonight’s debate.  Of course, this week, despite their differences, he’s probably done less damage to her campaign than Bill. 
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And okay, unless you really care about Tom Brady’s  “boot” and what the Giants are eating for breakfast, its a slow sports week.    Unless you are a college basketball fan in Kansas. 

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And kudos to the Kansas State Wildcats,  who won at home against the Kansas Jayhawks at home for the first time in 24 years.    That might be a colder scoring streak at home than Bill Clinton’s.

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Who would have thought that the New York Giants would be competing longer into 2008 than Rudy Giuliani?

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And Caroline Kennedy made a very inspiring commercia praising Barack Obama as a potential “President Like My Father.”  Of course, we Americans are living in such a state of diminished expectations, we would be better off if W. had just been a president like HIS father.

Who’d a thunk that Rudy Giuliani would end up with one less win than the Miami Dolphins?

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Hillary Clinton has now decided after she “won” the meaningless Florida primary that the votes should be counted toward the nomination.  In related news, the 1972 Miami Dolphins have petitioned the NFL to include New England’s two pre-season losses in their 2007 record. 

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A major freeway in Northern California has been shut all day due to an oil spill from a tanker accident.  Most local residents haven’t seen this kind of gridlock since they turned on C-Span.

Okay, now Mike Huckabee is complaining about Mitt Romney taking the skin off his KFC chicken.  Just when you thought the campaign couldn’t get any weirder – culinary advice from the guy who used to deep-fry squirrels.

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With former Michigan star Chris Webber set to rejoin the Warriors,  did he ask them to temporarily stop using the slogan.  “Warriors basketball, it’s a great time out?”

(for anyone too young to get that one,  1993 NCAA title game Michigan-North Carolina.  Google it :))

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More primary craziness.  The state of Florida moved their primary early in violation of Democratic rules.  The party told them if they did not move it back they would lose all their delegates to the National convention.  The state ignored the edict, was stripped of its delegates. And all the major candidates signed a pledge not to campaign in Florida.

 But that was BSC – before South Carolina.  Now Hillary Clinton is making three fundraising appearances in Florida Tuesday, where she was leading in the polls, and plans a speech there to thank supporters.  She also is now calling for Florida’s delegates to be seated at the convention.

In poker terms, this is like agreeing to a misdeal for a hand and then realizing you are behind but holding a pair of queens.

Or in college football terms, saying nothing bad about the BCS until the AP or coaches poll ranks you higher than they do, and then demanding the system be changed because you didn’t get a good bowl game.   Say, if this presidency thing doesn’t work out, Senator Clinton could have a great future in college coaching..

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If you have read this far – bad taste alert –

How far is Teddy Kennedy willing to go for Barack Obama?  After the State of  the Union he even offered to drive Hillary home. 

So it’s rough to be a Republican these days.  Lots of candidates but none of them really seem like the leader and big man the party needs.   In other words, Republicans feel just like Golden State Warriors fans on draft day.

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And now Don Nelson is considering bringing back Chris Webber, even though their feud 14 years ago resulted in the coach leaving the Warriors.

Maybe it’s just research for his future memoirs – which could be titled “Smart Coaches, Foolish Choices.” 

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USC freshman basketball star O.J. Mayo accepted free tickets to a Nuggets’ game from Carmelo Anthony,  an NCAA rules violation.  Apparently the Trojans have warned him that in future he can only accept free tickets to amateur events – like Clippers games.