Left Coast Sports Babe

Lately it seems like all that both presidential candidates are doing is repudiating statements made by their supporters and potential running mates.

It’s beginning to look like the best V.P. choice for both parties would have been Marcel Marceau.

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And NBC Universal is buying the Weather Channel.

Well, if nothing else this will expand their fall programming disasters beyond sitcoms.

Last nights line score from the Rockies 18-17 win over the Marlins:

17-22-2

18-21-0

With all due respect, that’s not a line score, it’s a set of lotto numbers.

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And according to ESPN.com Rockies shortstop Troy Tulowitzki is back on the disabled list, after slicing his right palm Friday night when he pounded his maple bat into the ground in frustration and it shattered.. 

Maybe Bud Selig and Major League Baseball might actually do something about maple bats, now that they are actually hurting players…?

President Bush announced this week he will attend the opening ceremonies of the Olympic games in China in August.   While reaction was mixed, his fellow Republicans supported the move.  In fact, they suggested he stay at the games and then vacation in Asia…say, until September when the Republican convention is over.

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Dara Torres, 41, qualified again for the fifth time this weekend for the US swim team by winning the 100 meter freestyle.  Her first words after the race to her competitors…  “You punks get out of my pool!”

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Former Senator Jesse Helms, age 86, died Friday.  There went John McCain’s chance to add some conservative youth and vigor to his ticket.

Barack Obama spoke last week about his mother telling  him about the
Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. 

John McCain said that was nice, but there was no substitute for the experience of being there at the signings.

Alex Rodriguez just announced he would not participate in the Home Run Derby.  Wonder if he will be replaced by Lenny Kravitz.

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Though should we be surprised that A-Rod is not participating in anything connected to the All-Star Game.   After all, as Bud Selig is so fond of saying, it counts towards something in the post-season.

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The Super Sonics are paying $75 million to the city of Seattle to leave town.   In related news, the city of New York is trying to decide how much they might offer the Knicks to move to Washington in their place.

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Coach K –  Mike Krzyzewski – says that his U.S. Olympic basketball team isn’t going to China “to sell shoes.”   Well, yeah, duh.   They don’t buy the shoes there,  just make them to ship them to people who will overpay for them here.

So Barack Obama is reaching out towards faith-based groups.
Does that include Cubs fans?

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Barry Bonds’s 756th home run ball is finally making it to the Hall of Fame, branded with an asterisk. Considering the various drug, gambling and other scandals in baseball’s past, not to mention the former exclusion of black ballplayers, the Hall is considering hanging a banner with an asterisk out front, and being done with it.

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Alex Rodriguez says he will skip the Home Run Derby.  He just heard it counts towards the post season.

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And just in time for the Fourth of July, the FAA issued the following advisory.   You do sometimes wonder if the greatest danger to the travelling public is the travelling public…..

“The Federal Aviation Administration is reminding the travelling public that they are not permitted to carry fireworks, including the smallest sparklers, aboard aircraft. This includes both carry-on and checked bags because of the tremendous fire risk they pose the aircraft in the air and on the ground. Fines for those who break the rules run from $275 to $50,000 per violation and criminal prosecutions can result in up to five years.”

John McCain has the former leader of the Swiftboat veterans heading up his truth squad.

Isn’t that like if Barack Obama appointed former President Clinton to head up his future Presidential commission on Abstinence?

Or Michael Jackson to head up a commission on Child Care?

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Baron Davis walked away from a guaranteed $17.5 million option with the Golden State Warriors to sign with the LA Clippers.  Yeah, another player who just got tired of playoff pressure.

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Bon Jovi will play a free All-Star week concert in Central Park as part of Major League Baseball’s week-long “celebration for baseball fans in New York.” 

In honor of the New York Yankees and their playoff hopes, the band’s opening number will be “Living on a Prayer.”

Who has offered to send me a few jokes while I attend my high school reunion:

For security reasons,  Police have banned 11 ‘fixated individuals’ from Wimbledon.

Looks like John McEnroe will have  to watch it on TV with the rest of us”

In San Francisco,  they may rename one of the city’s largest sewage works the George W Bush Sewage Plant.

What an insult. Sewage plants are in the business of cleaning up messes.

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And Barack Obama and his wife donated $2300.00 each to Senator Hillary Clinton’s campaign. 

Well, Senator Obama may have bettered his image with Clinton supporters, but he probably hurt his image as a responsible spender.

For his incredibly stupid comments…

He was three white sheets to the wind?

Shaquille O’Neal’s rap tirade against Kobe Bryant may have been a little over the top. 

But since Shaq left the Lakers, not even Kobe’s wife has gotten a ring.

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An American hiker stranded in the Bavarian Alps for nearly three days was rescued after using her sports bra as a signal.

Shame she wasn’t hiking with Pamela Anderson, the woman might have been found at least a day sooner.

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Bill Clinton now says he will campaign for Barack Obama.   What was the turning point?
 
Maybe after Hillary told him on a long distance call “You know, I hardly see you these days.  If it  hadn’t been for Senator Obama,  you and I would be making plans to live together again in
the White House.”

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Bill Clinton is talking about campaigning for Barack Obama.

I guess that’s where Obama got the idea for  “it  depends on the definition of public financing is…”

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Bill Clinton is talking about campaigning for Barack Obama.  Considering all the work he did for Hillary, that’s great news.  For John McCain.

Not to say that Senator McCain is out of touch.

But after Michelle Obama’s recent TV appearance reporters asked him what he thought about HIS his wife and “the View”.  And John responded, “well, she usually likes the one out of the living room window.”

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The Bush administration’s plan to deal with American’s energy problems is to allow more off-shore oil drilling.

Isn’t that kind of like the government fighting the drug war by opening a meth lab?

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Kobe Bryant has been selected to play for the United States in the Olympics.  When asked what he thought about his teammates he responded “I’m going to have teammates?”

And I apologize in advance if this is offensive.   But couldn’t resist. 

So after his firing, former New York Mets manager Willie Randolph said “He didn’t see it coming.”

With all due respect, Willie, even New York Governor David Paterson saw it coming.

Last Friday, David Letterman’s top ten list was:

“Top ten signs you have a bad travel agent.”

http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/top_ten/index/php/20080620.phtml

In response:

“Top ten signs you are flying on an airline in financial trouble.”

10.  When they pass out pretzels, they pass the pilot’s cap around for donations.

9.  They divert cross-country flight to Texas to fill up on cheaper gas.

8.  Flight attendants all wearing cast-off pantsuits from Hillary Clinton.

7.  The overhead bins have been turned into coin lockers.

6.  Flight attendants announce that your seat cushions not only double as a flotation device, they will also double as your pillow.

5.  “Buy on board” for $5.00 will now include alcoholic beverages, snack boxes and shares of airline stock.

4. Napkins show signs of being purchased at close-out discount stores – for example being printed “Giuliani for President 2008”

3. Airline fuselage covered with more sponsorship stickers than an Indy car.

2. Instead of turning on air conditioning, flight attendants hand out paper fans.

1.  You are flying on an airline based in the United States.

Fresno State against Georgia?

“Dog meet Dog?”

(note to people going, huh?  Both teams are the Bulldogs) 

The NBA is trying to get former referee Tim Donaghy to pay back $1.4 million in damages. Donaghy’s defense lawyer says they are just trying to punish him  for embarrassing the league.

If that were true, then the NBA would be trying to get at least $10 million from the New York Knicks.

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Soon to be heard at watercoolers everywhere in the US.

Did you hear who won the major PGA tour event this week?  Yeah, me neither.

Just 17 percent say the country is going in the right direction, according to an  recent AP poll.

Still, 17 percent?  I had no idea that many Americans worked for oil companies.

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Let’s hope this “unbundling” – the airline term for nickel and diming you for everything doesn’t catch on as a way to raise prices in other businesses.

If so, what’s next?  99 cent coffee at Starbucks?  Cup extra?

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The Seattle Mariners could become the first team with a $100 million player payroll to lose 100 games.

Not to be outdone, the Giants’ Barry Zito could become the first pitcher with an $18 million contract to lose 18 games.

Losing in an elimination game to Stanford on Wednesday. 

So should the headline read “Another Number One bites the Dust?”

Actually rumor has it his fellow PGA professionals sent him a nice bouquet of flowers, with a note suggesting he rest and really recuperate the knee this time. ..five or six years should do it.

Of course, the television networks have an opposite view.  At the moment their biggest challenge is to see if the rest of the PGA tour can reach the U.S. rating heights of hockey.

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apparently ratings for game 6 of the NBA finals were higher than they have been since 2000.  No word, however, on how many of those viewers tuned to ABC expecting to see the late night news or Jimmy Kimmel.

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So  in his first season Kevin Garnett led his team to championship rings.   But don’t feel too sorry for the disappointed Lakers.  Apparently they are getting rings designed by Kobe’s jeweller.

Golf’s national championship ended up to be a real thriller.  With a long contest featuring a jovial older white veteran,  who ended up losing to a younger mixed race/black man.   Wonder if we’ll ever see another competition like that again?

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Big Brown’s trainer is blaming the jockey, the Mets are blaming Willie Randolph, Hillary Clinton’s campaign is blaming everyone… Who’d a thunk that the most responsible New York team this summer might turn out to be the Yankees…

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Although ex-Yankees boss George Steinbrenner is blaming the National League’s lack of a DH, for Chien-Ming Wang’s injury sustained when he was running the bases.  What’s next, the Boss suggesting that pitchers ride in and out on golf carts?   Or making it illegal for a pitcher to cover first?

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