Left Coast Sports Babe

Alyssa Milano, formerly a mainstay on the major league baseball girlfriend circuit, finally got married, to a Hollywood agent. This is a woman who wrote in her book “Other women dream of papaya facials and mango pedicures. Give me a hot dog, a pitchers’ duel and a late-inning suicide squeeze, and I melt like hot pine tar.”

No work on kids yet, but she might end up being the mom voted least likely to have her husband allow her to go by herself to a little league game.

–

Milano dated,among others, Carl Pavano, Brad Penny, and Barry Zito. Say what you want about Alyssa’s relationship with Zito. At least she had enough sense not to sign a long term contract with him..

–

Phillies pitcher Brett Myers has already changed his latest injury story. First he said he injured his eye playing baseball with his four year old son, now he said he got hurt falling out of his truck. Presumably after washing it with Jeff Kent?

–
Well, at least he didn’t say he fell hiking the Appalachian trail. Yet.

–
The IOC has voted to consider adding golf for the 2016 Olympics. Presumably details will be released once they figure out if Tiger can work it into his schedule.

–

So Scott Boras may have his client Stephen Strasburg turn down a record baseball signing bonus, probably over $15 million, from the Washington Nationals. In this economy, seems like Boras himself is a PED – “Paycheck Elevating Douchebag.”

–
Strasburg, by the way, is single and 21 years old. But I guess he feels he has to feed his future family.

–
The previous highest signing bonus was for Mark Prior, $10.5 million in 2001 by the Chicago Cubs. Boras’s response :”Wouldn’t we all like to buy bread at a price they charged 100 years ago, a nickel a loaf, with the income we enjoy today”

Right, for those Americans who still enjoy an income today. And yes, wouldn’t we all like to have to have the 401ks we enjoyed last year too.

–
If you aren’t a baseball fan ignore this item, but okay, yes, that super bonus baby Mark Prior? He has a lifetime record in six years of 42 and 29 since he started in the big leagues in 2002. To put that in perspective, Tim Lincecum of the San Francisco Giants has 37 wins in 2 1/2 seasons, against 13 losses. And the much (and sometimes justifiably) maligned Barry Zito, who broke into the majors two years before Prior, has a record of 131 and 104.

Oh, and by the way, the team that passed on Prior because of his at that time exorbitant demands? The Minnesota Twins. Took a local kid named Joe Mauer who was willing to sign for much less. And what’s he done? Only won a couple batting championships, a Gold Glove, has been a repeat All-Star and is in the running for the American League MVP this year.
–

Finally, away from sports: A new series of “relaxation beverages”, billed as the antidote to energy drinks, are on the market. They have names like “Drank, “Purple Stuff” and “Blue Cow.” Didn’t relaxation beverages used to be called names like “wine” or “beer.” Or “decaf.”

This entry was posted on August 16, 2009 at 12:38 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: baseball jokes, Boras, PEDs, Strasburg