Archive for May 2008

Embarrassment?

May 31, 2008

Opponents were quick to criticize Barack Obama in the wake of controversial anti-Hillary comments made by one of his supporters who is a Catholic priest.

Many Republicans stated that they could not understand why he had not long ago distanced himself from a man with a record of embarrassing behavior.

Then some of them excused themselves, as they had to attend a private McCain fundraiser with President Bush.

 

President Bush also apprarently was shocked to hear that his ex-press secretary, who he considered a friend, has actually written a book.

 

Of course, President Bush is generally shocked to hear that one of his friends has READ a book.

A twisted Shakespearian reference…

May 30, 2008

An epitaph for San Antonio’s quick exit.  With apologies to the Bard.

You say young Barry’s spur was cold?  Of Hotspurs,  coldspurs?

Hell hath no fury..

May 28, 2008

Television viewers last weekend were treated to the sight of a small, furious woman trying to go after a man who had come up from behind and knocked her out of the race.

But it wasn’t just Hillary,  Danica Patrick was also pretty angry at the guy who crashed into her in the pits.

John McCain is continuing to assert that Barack Obama needs to go to Iraq to really understand the war situation.  When asked for how long, Senator McCain replied “a three or four year tour of duty” should take care of it.

And New York Governor David Paterson has directed the state to start recognizing same-sex marriages from elsewhere.

Rudy Giuliani responded with the argument that marriage should be between a man and a woman, and then another woman, and then the other woman.

 

 

As the baseball season gets into high gear…

May 28, 2008

High-priced free agent Andruw Jones just had knee surgery and will be sidelined for about four to six weeks.  Which means during that time he will contribute about as much to the Dodgers as he has in the past four to six weeks.

(Note to explain the joke,  Jones signed a two year $36 million contract, and has been hitting .165. Additional note to Dodgers fans, yes, I KNOW about Zito.  There will be more jokes about him too.)

With the Yankees in last place and the Mets on their way, all of a sudden Hillary Clinton’s second place finish might be turn out to be the best spring performance out of New York.

Congrats to the Spokane Chiefs, who won the Canadian Hockey League championship, and then promptly had their captain drop and break the trophy.

Well, at least that’s one embarrassing moment that may never befall the San Jose Sharks.

 

Those first place Rays..

May 27, 2008

Yes, the first place Tampa Bay Rays.  Not a joke.  The team is 16 and 1 at home in their last 17 games at Tropicana Field.    One of the generally perceived worst indoor stadiums in baseball.

So wonder if their slogan should be “There’s no place like Dome?”

The Stanley Cup hockey finals this year feature two American teams.  Which somehow doesn’t seem right as it’s Canada’s national sport. 

In fact, it’s almost as odd as if say, a Japanese man were to win an American eating contest.

 

How bad a slump is Hillary Clinton in these days?  Rumor has it that Monica Lewinsky mailed her a thong.

This weekend saw the Phoenix Lander successfully make it to Mars, where NASA scientists will use it to continue their quest for signs of life.

In related news, Hillary Clinton said it would be premature to end her campaign now, when there are potential Martian voices that should be heard.

 

 

 

 

A moment as it happens?

May 25, 2008

NBC is already starting advertising for the Beijing Olympic games.  Asking “How often is it when the
entire world can share a moment as it happens?”
Well, it won’t be much more often this summer.  Considering that NBC will make sure that most of the US will see those moments in primetime,  “plausibly live” the day after they happen ….

Wishing she could take it back?

May 24, 2008

Hillary Clinton’s comment about the 1968 primary might have been the stupidest and most misguided thing she has ever said.

Other, of course, than “I do.”

Has it occurred to anyone else at this point that Hillary Clinton’s chances of getting the nomination are about as good as Barack Obama’s being elected to the Bowling Hall of Fame?

History tour..

May 23, 2008

The NFL has announced that rookies will now visit the NFL Hall of Fame, so they can get a better idea of the sport’s history.   In additional, Cincinnati Bengals rookies will visit the county jail, so they can get a better idea of their team’s history.

Laura Bush and daughter Jenna appeared  Thursday on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, basically to plug the the fact they have written a book.   President Bush will apparently follow them on the show, once he finishes reading a book.

American Airlines has now announced they will charge 15.00 per checked bag.  The issue apparently is additional fuel costs because of additonal weight.  Yeah, this makes sense, an eight year old child with a twenty pound suitcase will now pay more than a college football lineman.

American denies the rumor they will also start charging for the use of airplane lavatories.  They say the bathrooms will remain free.

There will, of course, be a minimal charge for towels and toilet paper.

Memorial Day

May 22, 2008

Memorial Day is officially the holiday where we honor those brave men and women who have died in our country’s service.  Though for many Americans it has become simply the kickoff weekend for summer getaways.

After this year, will it become the weekend when we remember how we used to be able to afford to drive to those summer getaways?

And John McCain met with three potential vice presidential candidates this week.  It might have been tough, however, for Florida Governor Charlie Crist.

Because Governor Bobby Jindal promised he could deliver the Louisiana vote, and Mitt Romney promised he could deliver the Massachusetts vote.  But Republicans already know, to win Florida, you don’t need votes

More on Idol.

May 22, 2008

Why do Americans seem more interested in voting for American Idol than in voting in the Presidential Primary?

 

Well, for starters, in Idol, when voters pick a winner, the loser accepts it graciously.

 

 

One more about the NBA draft.  The Chicago Bulls won the first pick in the lottery despite having only a 1.7 percent chance.  Or as Hillary Clinton calls that –  “a strong probability.”

And after the airline rant from yesterday, American Airlines now has announced they will charge $15.00 for the FIRST bag you check.   So how much will they refund you if you show up at the luggage carousel and your bag doesn’t.  Odds on a Fed-Ex style guarantee?  Yeah, right.

 

 

 

Slim chances and long odds…

May 21, 2008

The Chicago Bulls defied the odds  – they had only a 1.7 percent chance – and drew the top pick in the  NBA draft.     Well, it will be interesting to see how that franchise might do if they had a real superstar player.

 –

This just in, Hillary Clinton just proclaimed herself a Chicago Bulls fan.

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announced this week he would fine teams whose players were suspended for disciplinary reasons – guess this will be called the “Pacman” tax.

And there is talk of a documentary about Hillary Clinton’s staffers after June 3.  The working title?  American Idle.

 

Time for an airline rant.

May 20, 2008

A little change from the usual sports and politics.

Airlines are losing money with higher fuel costs, costs that are exacerbated by ground delays.

So what’s their latest idea to make more money?  Charging for a second piece of checked luggage.

In the nothing can go “wrong, wrong, wrong..” department, let’s see.

First, some people won’t have heard about the additional charge, and will complain when they get to the airport.  And some travellers might not have the money.

Second, let’s see, you pay for a second bag, your first bag can be no more than 50 pounds.  Wonder how many pounds the average bag will increase by…?

Third, you still get two carryons.  Wonder how many pounds the average carryon will increase by?  You thought the battle for the overhead bins was bad before…

Leading us to, that fun situation as the plane fills up, and the overhead bins are crammed.  Partly because people bring a lot of stuff, partly because some jerks who sit in back like to put their stuff in the forward bins.  So add more bags to the mix, and there will be a lot more of those situations where you hear a perky voice saying “If you cannot find room in the bins, please bring your suitcase forward and we will check it for you on this flight.”

But wait, what happens if you have already checked one bag?  Do you get a freebie? And if they charge, how?  Credit card…if you have one?  Exact change?  Hah, the airlines can barely deal on board with making change for the boxes of salt, sugar and fat they sell now.  Since if you are getting on the plane late enough that the bins are full, the flight is probably pretty close to departure time.   But if you get a freebie, what about the other people who have paid to check THEIR second bag?   Which might be smaller than the bag you can’t cram into the overhead bin.

It’s anyone’s guess how many additional minutes of delays this will cause this summer.

Over-under on the first airport second bag airport incident?  I vote for mid June.

 

Barkley etc.

May 20, 2008

Charles Barkley announced today he has paid his debts, and that he plans to stop gambling.

Said Pete Rose “I wouldn’t bet on it.”

 

The San Francisco Giants lost their sixth game in a row today. Another devastating one run loss, where once again, the one big hit eluded them.  But hey, at this point in the season if they were looking for help, where could they possibly find a big slugger available?

Big Brown has a chance to be the first Triple Crown winner since 1978.  

Curiously enough, that was the year Julio Franco signed his first professional contract.

(this is no joke.)

But back to jokes. Sort of.  John McCain says he is a Republican who will do something about global warming.

And give the man his due, with his support of the Iraq war, and what it has done to gas prices, a lot of Americans have decided they can no longer afford to drive their cars.

And Hillary Clinton continues to twist the numbers to try to explain why she thinks she has  the highest vote total.  At this point Barack Obama is impressed enough he is planning to ask her to see what she can do with his bowling score.

Thought while watching Game 7 between Hornets and Spurs..

May 19, 2008

TNT announcer referred to it as a “pivotal game seven.”

Is there any other kind?

This just in…

May 17, 2008

John Edwards has endorsed Big Brown in the Preakness.

The next step for Peter McGowan…

May 17, 2008

So SF Giants managing partner Peter McGowan, 66, will retire at the end of this season.  What’s he going to do next, join John McCain‘s campaign as youth coordinator?

Too easy but…

May 15, 2008

Tampa Bay Rays payroll $43 million.

New York Yankees payroll $209 million.

The Rays in first place and the Yankees in last – Priceless!

 

The wrong election:

May 14, 2008

At the moment, Hillary’s strongest support comes from lower income workers, people who like the Clinton name, and voters who chose her when she was the only name on the ballot.

Maybe she should have run instead for president of  Cuba.

What’s in the water in Wisconsin?

May 14, 2008

Now Milwaukee Brewers pitcher Eric Gagne, who took himself out of the closer’s role a just few days ago, has announced that he wants to start closing games again. 

Even Brett Favre is saying, “Dude, make up your mind.”

Mike D’Antoni….

May 13, 2008

So former Phoenix Suns coach Mike D’Antoni has now taken on the job of coaching the New York Knicks.   Accordingly, this whole post is devoted to him.

 

Wonder if Mike D’Antoni took the Knicks job to guarantee he is going to never have another playoff loss again.

 
Mike D’Antoni said today he has looked at the Knicks roster “and that’s the roster I’m going to win with.”

Forget coaching basketball.  Is the man auditioning to manage Hillary Clinton’s campaign?

Or,

Mike D’Antoni said today he has looked at the Knicks roster “and that’s the roster I’m going to win with.”

Guess it’s not just NBA players who are smoking a little something.