Posted tagged ‘Jamie Moyer’

« Left Coast Sports Babe home page

Rats!

December 17, 2008

Scientists have found a 11 milion year old rat species still living in the Mekong Delta. The rat apparently was found in an original KFC bucket.

–

Penn State football coach Joe Paterno, 82, just signed a three year contract extension. When asked if he thought this was risky, Paterno said, “No, he thought the University would survive the recession.”

(yeah, I know, it’s a variation on an old joke.)

–

Also in Pennsylvania, the Phillies signed left-handed pitcher Jamie Moyer, 46, to a two year contract experience. When asked about it, Paterno reportedly replied “Well, they might have given him more years if Jamie had a little more experience.”

–

This next joke basically belongs to Alex Kaseberg. I just tweaked it a little bit.

At a Iraq press conference, President Bush had to dodge two shoes thrown at him by a reporter. Apparently the New Iraq Times’ motto is now “All the News thats Foot to Print.”

–

Now that Governor Blagojevich has been stopped from selling Obama’s Senate seat, there is talk of a special election in Illinois. So we’ll go back to putting someone in office the old-fashioned way. Buying one vote at a time.

–

Actually President Bush is trying to help out. He has suggested that the state of Illinois let each party choose a candidate, but save the money they would have spent on the election.   Then W. will just have the Supreme Court decide.

–

Governor Blagojevich still maintains he has done nothing wrong. He says his morals just have a wide stance.

–

President elect Barack Obama’s team is not only full of smart people, but also good basketball players. As reported in USA Today, Obama’s high school basketball team won the Hawaii state championship. His education pick Ame Duncan played at Harvard, his future National Security Advisor James Jones played at Georgetown. And UN Ambassador pick Susan Rice and Attorney General pick Eric Holder both played in high school. Oh, and Obama’s personal aide Reggie Love? He played at Duke.

Just what Washington needs, another team that can beat the Wizards.

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

October Surprise:

October 22, 2008

Fox has made no secret of their preference for a McCain-Palin victory in November,  But alas, the biggest October surprise has turned out to be a Phillies-Rays World Series.

–

How old is the ageless Jamie Moyer of the Phillies?  He’s so old he can remember the last time the Phillies won the World Series.

–

How young are the Phillies and Rays on average?  Even Barack Obama says they’re inexperienced.

–

Oops.  John McCain slipped up at a campaign rally in referring to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.  Not the Rays as they have been known this season.  But to be fair, most folks in the Tampa/St. Pete area don’t know about the name change either.

–

These are heady times for sports fans in the Tampa area.   With the NHL Lightning’s season underway and the Rays in the World Series, for the first time ever in October, they get to ignore two local teams at once.

–

The New York Yankees and Dallas Cowboys have joined up to form a  company that will provide food, retail and other services at their new stadiums.  And if operations go well, company staff will be free to work for other teams during the postseason.

–

There is talk of adding a second NHL team maybe by expansion,  in Toronto, Canada, home of the Maple Leafs.  Hasn’t the city suffered enough?

 

(For all you American readers who aren’t hockey fans, the Maple Leafs are the closest thing Canada has to the Cubs.  Much beloved, and they haven’t won a championship in over 40 years.)

–

California Governor Arnold Schwarenegger, who has been assiduously avoiding the presidential campaign, just announced he will go to Columbus, Ohio on Halloween to campaign for Senator McCain.   This way if anyone sees him, Arnold can pretend to be just another guy in a Terminator mask.   

 

 

From Bill Littlejohn:

“Mr. Blackwell, composer of the annual Worst Dressed List, has passed away at age 86.  A football scholarship to the University of Oregon has been established in his name”

(if you are not a Pac-10 fan this may not make sense until you Google pictures.  If you are, no further explanation needed.)

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Comments: 1 Comment