Left Coast Sports Babe

A possible steroids scandal was averted for the Chinese women’s gymnastics team when items taken from their tote bags turned out not to be “the cream” and “the clear.”

Instead, the items turned out to be diaper ointment and teething gel.

President Bush is still following the games from back in Washington, DC,  though he gets a bit confused sometimes.

Like Tuesday, when Benjamin Boukpeti won the first  Summer Games medal for his African country in the single kayak.  Apparently when Bush read the results “Bronze: Togo,”  his response was “”To go, is China having the rest of the medals delivered?”

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ABC’s Cokie Roberts criticized Barack Obama for vacationing in a “foreign, exotic place.”

The Hawaii visitor’s board was so upset they warned Ms. Roberts if she plans a visit they may well deny her visa.

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Russian President Dmitry Medvedev now says that his country has done enough to Georgia  for  its attack on South Ossetia.

“The aggressor has been punished and suffered very significant losses. Its military has been disorganized,” he said.

Is that Russian for “mission accomplished?”  

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Despite widespread accusations that the Chinese women gymnasts are underage,  the other Olympic gymnastic teams are being good sports.   In fact, several of them have approached China and, when the competition is over, offered to babysit.

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As a left-coaster, I cannot wait for the Vancouver Olympics, where NBC can show everything live.

But upon further reflection, of course the events will be tape-delayed on the West Coast.

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Poor George W.  He had to leave before the water polo started.  Apparently our President was really looking forward to seeing those swimming horses.

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The new system in gymnastics has resulted in the official scoring decisions taking an incredibly long time.  Even Brett Favre is saying “make up your minds already.”

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President. Bush was asked if he has talked to Vladimir Putin about the situation in Georgia.  George W. said for some reason that the Prime Minister didn’t seem to take him seriously when he said that you just can’t go around invading countries that are not threatening you.

There are accusations that the Chinese girl gymnasts are younger than 16, which makes them younger than the minimum age to compete.

But the Chinese government denies the rumors, and says their  IDs say they are 16.    Well, sure,  as any college student in the US knows, that must be true then.

The Chinese deny that any of their female gymnasts are underage.  And they say that  it is just a coincidence that the team totes their stuff in diaper bags.

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They also say that it is only to learn English that the women say their favorite American television program is “Sesame Street.”

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The situation is getting worse and worse between Russia and Georgia.    Today John McCain said on top of everything else, he hopes it doesn’t cause tension on the Soviet Olympic team.

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Early Sunday evening, NBC ran women’s synchronized diving, followed by the women’s gymnastics floor exercises.  And all over America, men turned to their wives and said “Honey, maybe this would be a good night for me to finally come with you to see Mamma Mia..”

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And finally, from Bill Littlejohn —

The Lakers have signed Chinese point guard Sun Yue. If he and Kobe end up in the backcourt, it’ll be Yue and Me”

Bill Clinton has been causing more controversy by still refusing to say that Barack Obama is ready for the White House..

Although after this week, he does say that he now feels John Edwards is ready for the White House.

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John McCain’s acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention is apparently going to be short, less than 20 minutes.  McCain says this is because the best speech he has heard in his life was also short, the one given by Lincoln at Gettysburg.

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Or-  John McCain’s acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention is apparently going to be a short one.  Apparently he feels it would be better to deliver it without a bathroom break.

Olympic souvenirs are selling well in Beijing, and the Chinese are thrilled.   They can sell both sell junk to Americans AND  save on shipping charges.

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jetBlue is now selling pillows and blankets to their customers for $7.00.   United Airlines has a better idea, however, they are going to sell a larger pillow and blanket to their customers, and then charge them $25.00 to check them on the way home.

Thursday night NBC aired their Olympic ad, “How often is that the entire world can share a moment as it happens?”
Then they ran another ad for their tape-delayed broadcast of the opening ceremonies Friday night.

While in Thailand, President Bush gave a speech gently  chiding China for its human rights violations. He might have  gone on longer but he had to deal with a call from some
advisers about Guantanamo.

The Beijing Olympics start on 8/8/08, at 8pm.  For all you considering watching the opening ceremony from Californa, that’s 500am Friday morning  California time.

George W.  Bush is heading to Beijing, but while in China he will avoid making political statements, including on the subject of human rights.  And,  according to the New York Times,  he has specifically ruled out giving a Reaganesque “tear down this wall”  speech.     

But as our President says, why would anyone want to tear down the Great Wall?

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China will have five Olympic mascots, collectively called “Fuwa,” that are “designed to express the playful qualities of five little children who form an intimate circle of friends.” And of course, the playful qualities of little children who have been spending months sewing millions of these mascot dolls. 

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And Brett Favre’s agent said, after the quarterback left Green Bay’s training camp,  that “the train has left the station.”

Of course, the train may turn around, go in a different direction, or just derail.

Has Favre ever thought about being a spokesman for Amtrak?

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In related news the train said it felt pressured and was never fully committed to leaving the station.

When asked about which  Olympic event he would most be following,  Barack Obama said it would be have to be basketball, since he remembers rooting for the USA “Dream Team” when he was a young man. 

By the same token, John McCain said he would again be rooting for the Christians over the Lions.

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And Brett Favre continues his “will he play” or “won’t he play” rollercoaster.  Kind of makes sense now that he dated his wife for 12 years before proposing.

ESPN quoted Manny Ramirez after Day 1 in Los Angeles. “I like this city, the environment, the energy in the fans. I think that I’ll play here for the remainder of my career.”

Well, you never know, but doesn’t that sound it bit like Elizabeth Taylor, on a day after she said “I do?” 

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The Obama-McCain camps are sparring a bit over extra debates.   McCain’s campaign wants more of the town-hall format,  Obama’s camp wants something more along the lines of the historic Lincoln-Douglas debates

But to be fair,  John McCain says he has valid reasons for opposing Lincoln-Douglas debates,  in fact, he has felt uncomfortable with the format ever since he attended them.

So the Brett Favre-Green Bay Packers impasse may come to an end with the Packers paying Favre $20 million not to play.

Chicago Bears fans are taking up a similar collection for Rex Grossman.

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Ken Griffey Jr reported to the Chicago White Sox after being traded from the Cincinnati Reds, and drove in two runs in his debut.  He pronounced himself happy to be in Chicago, and  ready to be injured before the playoffs.

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John McCain’s campaign is trying to push the satirical image of Barack Obama as “the one.”

Based on McCain’s own performance  this week, does that mean the presidential debates will be between “One” and “Done?”

The Boston Red Sox have traded Manny Ramirez, who has even worn out his welcome with many fans, to the Los Angeles Dodgers.  Well, at least he will only have to now deal with fans between the 3rd and 7th innings.

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To be fair, Manny Ramirez’s troubles with the Red Sox may have been exacerbated by all the Boston media attention.  Well, sure, and that certainly won’t be a problem in Los Angeles.
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Not sure why the Red Sox thought of dealing with the Dodgers.  I mean, how would they know if Los Angeles would support an arrogant superstar who lives in his own world and sometimes seems to have no concept of the term “team player.”

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In San Francisco, the Giants made no trades on deadline day.  Well, yeah, why would you want to break up a 44-63 team?

John McCain released an ad on Wednesday calling Barack Obama the “biggest celebrity in the world,” and comparing him to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.

Actually, that wasn’t the original idea for the ad.  Senator McCain wanted to compare Obama to Mae West.

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Michelle Wie is being criticized by other LPGA golfers for skipping the Women’s British Open to play in a PGA event this week.

But give the gal a break. Maybe she just wanted the weekend off.

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Dunkin Donuts has announced they are offering healthier menu options:

Isn’t that like better childcare at the Neverland Ranch?

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China has announced another last minute emergency plan to deal with Beijing’s pollution problem before the Olympic games.

The plan will close additional factories, halt construction projects and further reduce the number of  cars on the road.  Hindsight is 20-20, but if China was serious about these objectives,  then last year they should have hired President Bush’s economic team.

These are all too easy but…

Los Angeles today was shaking like…

Dick Cheney when he heard oil prices took another tumble.

John Edwards being approached by a reporter.

John McCain hearing that the first presidential debate will feature a geography quiz.

Barack Obama hearing that Reverend Wright has been hired as a religious commentator by Fox News..

Chicago Bears fans hearing how much Rex Grossman admires Brett Favre…

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Moving along…

Sen. Ted Stevens, the nation’s longest-serving Republican senator was indicted Tuesday on seven felony counts.

If convicted on all counts, he could again become the nation’s longest-serving Republican senator.

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Regarding the  recent embarrassing incident where John Edwards was allegedly caught at a hotel visiting his mistress, the former Senator has a defense: 

Given all of Obama’s favorable publicity in Berlin, Edwards just decided it was time he too reminded Americans of JFK.

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The International Olympic Committee has announced this Olympics will be the last for baseball as a medal sport.  For those disappointed fans of amateur baseball the IOC will do their best in 2012 to organize a summer series betwen the Kansas City Royals and the Washington Nationals.

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With so many events being tape delayed, viewers who hope to watch the games “plausibly live” will have to be particularly careful.  They may read news stories about athletes being stripped of their medals for doping before they see the events..

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And Iraq has been banned from this year’s Olympics for “government interference.”  Does this mean the IOC will retroactively recalculate all past figure skating scores involving a French judge?

A really really bad pun alert for the weekend.

Barack Obama’s Berlin speech prompted comparisons of the candidate with JFK.   Who in his famous speech accidentally said “I am a jelly doughnut.”

But given Barack’s prowess on the basketball court,  presumably if he had made a similar error, it would be to say, “I am a dunkin’ doughnut.”

The Green Bay Packers have announced they might postpone retiring Favre’s number: They are saying now that they were never fully committed to retiring the jersey and felt pressured by Brett to make a decision.’ . . .

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And regarding the QANTAS plane with the hole in the cargo section.   Well, you might be paying to check your luggage but at least on this flight it got a window seat.

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The NBA has filed for trademark rights to six nicknames for the league’s new Oklahoma City franchise: Barons, Bison, Energy, Marshalls, Thunder and Wind.

Considering that they basically stole the franchise from Seattle, what about Robber Barons?

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But “Energy?”   The Oklahoma City Energy?      What kind of a name is that?  Maybe they have hopes of drilling their shots…?

Five players were suspended after their brawl with the Los Angeles Sparks, and so the Detroit Shock signed 50 year old Nancy Lieberman to a one week contract.

There’s no guaranteed she won’t get in a brawl too, but at least any potential medical bills will be paid by Medicare.

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Apparently one of her jobs is to keep the rest of the team in line by threatening them with timeouts.

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The  Nationals are visiting A T and T Park this week, playing against the Giants who have the worst home record in major league baseball.     And the Giants as of Wednesday have actually won two in a row.  Who says Washington hasn’t done anything for San Francisco lately?

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Conservative columnist Robert Novak apparently hit a pedestrian with his car this week.   Presumably it was the pedestrian’s fault,  for walking too far to the left.

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In a stunning display of obviousness – – or bad eyesight –  Novak claimed he didn’t even know he had hit the man,  and acccording to Fox News, said he was a block away from the scene of the accident when a bicyclist stopped him to tell him he’d struck someone.  

Which means the scariest afternoon in the planet might be a hunting party with Robert Novak and Dick Cheney.

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And the Barack Obama World Tour hits Berlin later this week.  John McCain claimed that the stop was just about publcity, and besides, Obama wasn’t even making time to visit both East and West  Berlin.

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The Obamas revealed in an interview that they give their daughters $1.00 allowance a week.  Curiously enough, the same amount the girls will probably get when they are eligible for Social Security.