Left Coast Sports Babe

The San Francisco Giants have no real cleanup hitter, shaky spring training pitching, but they do have a new slogan – All Out, All Season.

They are already down 4-0 in the second with Barry Zito starting opening day.

Maybe they should change the slogan to “All Routs, All Season?”

Hillary Clinton said today she was a Rolling Stones fan.

John McCain accused her of pandering and said he wasn’t into that modern music.

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Actually, Hillary is hoping Mick Jagger will allow her to use one of their songs for her new campaign theme –  “Sympathy for the Devil.”

After all the hype and possible Cinderella stories, four number one teams are in the final four.

Which means the only number one seed who isn’t winning these days is Hillary Clinton.

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The Washington Nationals opened their new stadium today to a sellout crowd.  It was a bittersweet moment for old Expos fans – had the team been able to get a new stadium earlier when they were still in Montreal,  they might have been able to sell a few hundred more tickets.

President Bush was at the first Nationals game.  Of course W. loves baseball – expressed as a batting average, his 30 percent (.300) approval rate, actually looks good.

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Actually Bush heard so many boos he felt like a member of the Texas Rangers’ pitching staff.

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And the Miami Heat scored only 17 baskets in their latest loss to the Celtics.   They just might be the worst scoring team since the Star Trek trivia champions went to Mexico on Spring Break.

The San Francisco 49ers were penalized a fifth round draft pick for allegedly trying to tamper with Lance Briggs.   (Yeah, Lance Briggs. Who?  And they didnt even end up signing him.)

Maybe it would have  been better for the team if they had done some SERIOUS tampering and been penalized with a first round pick, considering how well they did with Alex Smith.

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And now Hillary Clinton and some of her weatlthy supporters are urging Chairman of the House Nancy Pelosi to repudiate her statement that superdelegates should not overturn the will of the people  as expressed at the ballot box.    The reasoning being that superdelegates might know better who would be a stronger candidate.

Guess the candidate “of, from and for the middle class,” will do anything for that middle class.  Except acknowledge their right to vote.

So Jose Canseco now claims A-Rod is guilty of steroid abuse because he introduced him to a “well-known steroids dealer?”

Big deal, last year’s San Francisco Giants were all certainly introduced to their hitting coach.

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Chris Webber retired today, or maybe we should say, he called his last time-out.

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Since the California primary is over,  Democrats don’t expect the usual crush of reporters attending their state convention this weekend in San Jose.  But it was just announced, Bill Clinton will be headlining the Sunday speakers. 

Guess Hillary figured it was a good way to keep him out of Pennsylvania.

British Airways is opening their new Terminal 5 at Heathrow tomorrow. And they have chosen their  first female pilot to fly the first plane to land there.  Guess they figure it is the only way to be sure that if the pilot gets lost looking for the new terminal, that they will ask for directions.

So as March winds down what was the most shocking story in the sporting world.

That Tiger Words actually finally had a loss.

Or that the Knicks finally had a win?

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Fans of the Oakland As have to be awake at 3am to listen to their team open the season in Japan.  As opposed to fans of the San Francisco Giants,  who are likely to be up at 3am wondering how many more of the team will open the season on the DL.

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Giants infielder Kevin Frandsen probably tore his Achilles tendon and will like miss the entire year.  He joins several other San Francisco players who are already on the disabled list.  Maybe it wasn’t such a great idea to come up with the slogan “All out, all season.”

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At this point it’s more like “All out, for all season.”

Is it too soon to be talking about the curse of Barry Bonds?

But back to the game in Japan.  Fans of the As had to get up at 3am Wednesday to listen to  how their team would start the season. As opposed to fans of the Red Sox, who until a few years ago were often up at 3am thinking about how their team would end the season.

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And apologies in advance if anyone finds the following sacreligious. 

Last week Bill Richardson, a longtime friend of the Clintons, endorsed Barack Obama for president.   James Carville compared him to Judas, and today he said he meant the comparison. 

So if Nancy Pelosi and Howard Dean do not interecede in the nominating process on Hillary’s behalf, wonder which one of them he will compare to Pontius Pilate?

From the NCAA site.  Right.

2008 NCAA Division I Men’s Basketball Championship

Question:
At this point in the primary season what’s the hardest state left for Hillary Clinton?

Answer:

The state of denial.

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And John McCain is working hard to counteract the notion he isn’t hip.  Someone asked him recently what he thought of the Youtube phenomenon, and he replied, “I’m not a fan personally but my daughter loves their lead singer Bono.

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A couple weirdnesses from March Madness – there’s a team from Pennsylvania left, and it’s not Pitt nor Temple but Villanova.

Ditto two from Kentucky, and one of them is Western Kentucky.

And two from North Carolina, and one of them ISN’T Duke.

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But back to the campaign –  this spring may see another definition of “Sweet Sixteen.”  The states Hillary Clinton thinks she has to win to get the nomination.

In the opening round of the NCAA tournament Friday in Tampa.

San Diego beat U Conn

Western Kentucky beat Drake

Siena beat Vanderbilt
Villanova beat Clemson

If anyone would have predicted those results earlier the response would have been “Fantasyland is in Orlando.”

But there’s a new game for all those who did have those four winners in their pools: it’s called Liar’s Poker.

Western Kentucky over Drake, Villanova over Clemson,  USD over Connecticut. Siena over Vanderbilt.  Regarding my thought yesterday that Cinderella couldn’t afford gas….well, today apparently she carpooled.

Last fall USC was upset by Stanford in the biggest upset in college football history , Thursday they were knocked out of the NCAA tournament in the first round by 11 seed Kansas State.

The last times the Trojans had a year this bad, a wooden horse was involved.

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But except for USC, the first round Thursday had no upsets.   Guess maybe this year Cinderella couldn’t afford to gas up her pumpkin. 

On the opening day of the NCAA tournament, Americans in many offices will spend from 900a to 930p trying to look busy but actually accomplishing nothing.

In other words, just like the White House, with longer hours.

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Major League Baseball closed down a website selling Obama t-shirts in the typeface of various teams.  In related news, they also closed down a site selling John McCain t-shirts Apparently the site showed him cheering when the Cubs won the World Championship . 

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Tonight on the Daily Show Jon Stewart said that Barack Obama talked to Americans “as though they were adults.”   Okay, maybe it’s true…maybe Obama is too idealistic to be president.

I wrote a version of this joke last year, but…I think over 3990 American deaths since 1993 calls for a repeat:

Why did President Bush  refer to  the beginning of the Iraq War “Shock and Awe?”

Because March Madness was already taken.

It’s a great time of year for sports fans in the United States.  Millions are looking forward to March Madness, more millions are looking forward to  Major Leage Baseball opening day, and at least a dozen are looking forward to the NHL Playoffs.

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Although who’d a thunk it that we would have an NCAA men’s basketball champion this year before we had a Democratic presidential nominee?

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This weeks millions of Americans will try to figure out their choices  to go from 64 down to 2.  And after they decide about financial institution stocks,, they can work on their brackets. 

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And just a random thought…maybe Ronald Reagan wasn’t so crazy after all to call himself a Christian but not attend church.

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Though Barack Obama may actually get some unexpected sympathy from many church goers…as in “the media really belives that people listen to sermons?”

Despite trailing in the popular vote and in pledged delegates, as spring approaches Hillary Clinton still appears sure she can win it all.

Well, she did grow up a Cubs fan…

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And today the NCAA tournament committee picked the 64, well 65 actually top college teams in the country.    Among the snubbed teams who really felt they were good enough  to make it were the Virginia Tech Hokies, the Arizona State Sun Devils, and the New York Knicks.

Yes, an actual final score from the Big Ten men’s basketball tournament.

Michigan’s shooting was so bad, you have to wonder if Dick Cheney was involved.

But still, it’s amazing to win with 51.  Or as President Bush calls it “a landslide.”

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This next joke is tacky and at least PG 13 rated…

Eliot Spitzer has long had the reputation of a moral anti-crime crusader.

But now with the recent prostitute story, and the revelation that he didn’t like condoms, will he go down in history as the “Uncaped Crusader?”

And by the way, Ron Paul, the last remaining Republican challenger to John McCain, officially folded his campaign last week.  But be honest now, how many of you had McCain, Paul, Clinton and Obama as your final four?

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Arizona still has a good chance of going to the NCAA men’s basketball tournament, despite a sub .500 record in the Pac 10.  Since when does a sub .500 record reward you with post season play?  Well, outside of the NBA Eastern Conference…

After the Democratic National Committee voted to strip Michigan of its delegates for illegally scheduling their primary too early,  only Hillary Clinton among the major candidates kept her name on the ballot.

Obama supporters only were able to vote for “uncommitted.”

But if Obama voters are uncommitted.

Does that mean that Hillary voters should be committed?