Posted tagged ‘voting jokes’

Decisions, decisions.

November 5, 2014

A very low turnout in this year’s midterm elections. Which must on some level make all the winners and incumbents very happy.  Since all those people who didn’t vote have forfeited their bitching rights.

 

The polls are closed across the U.S. So finally the emails requesting money for the 2014 election will stop. The emails requesting money for 2016 start this morning.

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Not that I’m wishing harm on anyone, but it will be interesting to see what happens this winter the first time some natural disaster hits some state where a GOP leader has won election campaigning against the federal government.

 

What a country. Kim Kardashian Monday night posted “‘I’m standing w Obama in the midterm election 2morrow!’ Of course, since Kim probably didn’t take time to vote she probably didn’t even notice the President not being on the ballot.

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Not sure what Iowa’s Joni Ernst, who’s been downplaying her ties to Sarah Palin, might be like in the Senate. But her husband Gail at least looks like a gift for the comedy industry. This from his FB page last year: “What do you do if you see your ex running around in your front yard screaming and bloody? Stay calm. Reload. And try again.”

 

 

In Florida, Democrats had hoped a medical marijuana initiative would help Charlie Crist in Tuesday’s election. Alas wonder how many supporters  of the amendment will show up to vote Wednesday.

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A statement that kind of sums up American priorities. This from Kristin Mavromatis with the Mecklenburg County Board of Elections in North Carolina: “There are lines all over the place Not quite as long as the line at the Cheesecake Factory but there are lines.”

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Wonder how many people who didn’t think they have time to vote had time to update their fantasy football teams. ‪#‎ElectionDay‬

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Fox News’ Tucker Carlson. “We need, I think, an older white guy appreciation day, I think they have done a lot for this country.” With all due respect, in the U.S. EVERY day is “older white guy appreciation day.”

 

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A Virgin Australia flight bound for Sydney had to return to Los Angeles because of a plumbing problem that resulting in a nauseating smell on board. Ah for the good old days, when the most nauseating thing on a plane was the free food.

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President Obama just declared the lava flow from Hawaii’s Kilauea volcano to be a major disaster, which frees up federal money to help. Wonder how many people are thinking.”Yeah, just like Obama to send U.S. money overseas.”

 

Tony Romo says he is optimistic about Sunday’s game in London. Well, of course, who wouldn’t be optimistic with the prospect of playing the Jacksonville Jaguars?

 

Another why there is no satire: Dallas Cowboys hashtag for their London game is ‪#‎CowboysUK‬ Yes, they do.-

 

 

The LA Dodgers have hired Oakland A’s assistant GM Farhan Zaidi as their next GM. Right, okay, because the Athletics lasted so much longer than the Dodgers in recent playoffs.

The real magic number…

November 2, 2012

Three.

As in the number of days before we are done with political ads and emails.

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Rudy Giuliani called on President Obama to resign over the four American deaths in Libya. Makes sense, after Rudy called on President George W. Bush to resign over 9/11. Oh, wait…. never mind.

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Meanwhile,  across the state line,  got to love that American spirit sometimes: N.J. Gov. Chris Christie said Atlantic City’s 12 casinos could reopen immediately after a nearly five-day shutdown for Superstorm Sandy.

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Dwayne Wade thought it was inappropriate for the Heat to play the Knicks Friday night at Madison Square Garden. A social conscience? Or a premonition that New York would beat Miami by 20 points?

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A  serious thought regarding early voting: Personally, it bothers me when people don’t make an effort either to get to the polls, OR vote absentee. On the other hand, while there may not be a constitutional right to vote early, the founding fathers left voting rights to the states, excluding all but white, male landowners. Times change. So in the end, I come down on the side of making voting as easy as possible.

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Montgomery Burns from the Simpsons has endorsed Mitt Romney for President. Hey, some Republicans may hope this offsets the all important Honey Boo Boo endorsement.

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The Los Angeles Angels are looking to trade pitcher Dan Haren, and reportedly have interest from both the Red Sox and the Cubs. Sounds like either way, Haren’s likely to keep getting his Octobers off.

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In Northern California, Chevron says their Richmond oil refinery, closed since a fire in early August, could be fully operational by March. Which gives them four months to think of another excuse for higher gas prices.

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From my friend Jim Barach,   (and a majority of voters polled do expect President Obama to win.)

A study says that who people expect to win an election is more reliable than who they want to win. This has been proven time and again for more than a century by Chicago Cubs fans.

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The New York City Marathon has been cancelled for this weekend. One question – what took them so long?


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