Posted tagged ‘Spurs jokes’

Our short national nightmare is over.

June 19, 2014

#Facebook was down for about 30 minutes Thursday morning. The horror. Millions of people were limited to looking at their own cats.

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British Prime Minister David Cameron gave Chinese premier Li Keqiang a signed copy of the shooting script for the first episode of Downton Abbey as a souvenir of Keqiang’s visit to the UK. Wonder how long it will take China to come up with a show knock-off?

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And so it begins, Grover Norquist suggests renaming the Redskins the Washington Reagans, What, not the Gippers?

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My friend Jeff suggests the Washington Blamers. With a logo of a lot of pointing fingers.

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John Kerry, on Dick Cheney’s recent criticism of Obama. “This is the man who took us into Iraq saying this? Please.’ If Kerry had fought back like that against the “Swift boaters” he might have had a chance to be elected President.

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Former Montana Governor Brian Schweitzer, who appears to be running more for a TV job than President, in an interview on Eric Cantor “If you were just a regular person, you turned on the TV, and you saw (him) talking, I would say—and I’m fine with gay people, that’s all right—but my gaydar is 60-70 percent.” Oh please, oh please, someone ask Schweitzer about Marcus Bachmann.

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So the San Antonio Spurs have a dominating win in the NBA Finals and all the talk is about – what will Lebron and the Heat do next year? #Americalovestrainwrecks

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Who says I never say anything nice about George W. Bush?. At least the former President hasn’t added his name to the GOP chorus criticizing Obama on Iraq.

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Apparently Harrison Ford suffered a broken leg, not an injured ankle as previously reported, on the set of the latest “Star Wars” sequel. Good thing he wasn’t working on a remake of “They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?”

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So what’s the difference in this year’s World Cup between Spain and England? About 24 hours.

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England is now close to being out of the World Cup. To put this in perspective for Americans, it’s like the USA being eliminated in the first round of the Nathan’s hot dog eating contest.

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In Wisconsin, prosecutors are alleged that Gov. Scott Walker was at the center of a nationwide “criminal scheme” with people like Karl Rove to illegally coordinate with outside conservative groups. If true, clearly this must be Obama’s fault.

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New GOP majority leader Kevin McCarthy started a deli business with money he won in the lottery when he was 19. Makes sense. winning the lottery is one of the paths Republicans now figure poor people should use to get ahead.

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KTVU achieved national infamy earlier this year over a prank involving alleged Asiana pilot names.  Monday night, a KTVU reporter doing a live story on a woman who was robbed in Oakland, CA left her purse in a nearby unlocked van.  And the purse, of course, was stolen. Hope no one tries to get her read the names of suspected thieves on the air.

(Susan Marie H. asks “Was the reporters name Dora Notloc, Norma Coach, Greta Klue, or Ima Stoopid?)

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A seriously cool story.  Somewhere, Tony Gwynn is smiling. Good luck to Addison Reed.

http://msn.foxsports.com/arizona/story/d-backs-reed-quits-tobacco-out-of-respect-for-gwynn-061714

Not the Onion.

June 18, 2014

Texas Governor Rick Perry, interviewed for the NY Times Sunday Magazine, told a reporter “that he loves California, vacations in San Diego annually, visits the state about six times a year and might even move here in January when he’s done with his 14-year stint running Texas.” Where’s a border fence when you REALLY need one?

 

 

You really cannot make this sh*t up. “Rarely has a US president been so wrong about so much at the expense of so many” from an op-ed criticizing Obama’s handling of Iraq. By Dick Cheney

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The US has captured a “key” Benghazi suspect. So just for a day, many in the GOP are saying “Forget Benghazi, let’s talk about Iraq.”

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Tragic, really. Chris Bosh, talking about the Heat’s tough season. “There was no, like, genuine joy all the time. It seemed like work. It was a job the whole year.”

(My friend Jon Nedry says,  Nobody had the “do what you love” talk with him when he was younger?”)

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Oakland starting pitcher Drew Pomeranz, who entered last night’s game with an ERA under 2, broke his right hand punching a chair last night after giving up 8 runs in a loss to the Texas Rangers. And the A’s are in first place. Imagine what Pomeranz might have done if he pitched for the Cubs.

 

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Well, they’re consistent. Former GOP Rep. Allen West of Florida wrote today: “Squirrel! Benghazi suspect conveniently captured to deflect attention from all the other nightmares.” I suppose we only killed Bin Laden for the same reason.

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San Antonio’s Tony Parker -“I think everybody’s gonna come back.” Chairman Peter Holt -“Tim and Manu want to play until they die, somewhat sincerely, actually.” And Brett Favre just went out and bought a Spurs jersey.

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Who needs reality television? In Louisiana, congressman Vance McAllister, who ran on a family values platform and was caught making out on tape with a married staffer, said he wouldn’t run again. But now he is “leaning towards” changing his mind. And one of his declared opponents, Zash Dasher, is the nephew of Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson….. This all must be the fault of gay marriage.

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Rep. Lou Barletta (R-Pa.) said yesterday that the House “probably” has the votes to impeach President Barack Obama if the matter was brought to the floor. Well, it would be a change from the votes to repeal Obamacare.

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A lot of excited new U.S. soccer fans have a question after yesterday’s big win over Ghana. So is this World Cup thing 3 out of 5 or 4 out of 7?

 

While celebrating the #USA win over #Ghana, maybe millions of Americans could take the time to find Ghana on a map. #Geography. #WorldCup

 

 

In California, lawmakers today rejected a bill that would have put a label on sugared sodas, energy drinks and fruit drinks saying “STATE OF CALIFORNIA SAFETY WARNING: Drinking beverages with added sugar(s) contributes to obesity, diabetes, and tooth decay.” Gosh, because now people think they are drinking that stuff for their health?

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Rick Perry, saying he’s “preparing” for 2016 and trying to step away from his comments on gays last week ““Actually it was a pure economic message in San Francisco until a question from the audience.” Well okay then. Because as a candidate for president he’ll never get sidetracked by questions…

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A Senate panel today slammed Dr. Oz for his claims for “miracle” weight loss products – “The scientific community is almost monolithically against you.”. Guessing Dr. Oz will soon demand the hearing be transferred to the GOP-led House.

 

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Well, it doesn’t just happen to the little people. This tweet today “Hey @united landed in Dublin yesterday morning from Newark and still no golf clubs… Sort of need them this week… Can someone help!?” The tweet? Rory McIlroy. And he needs them for the Irish Open….

 

The Heat is Gone

June 16, 2014

#SanAntonioSpurs win the #NBA championship with a team comprised largely of immigrants. I blame Obama.

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Apparently tonight this IS a country for old men. #Spurs

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Chris Bosh “Plain and simple, we’re going to win tonight. Asked if he was guaranteeing a victory, Bosh said: “I don’t care about guarantees. We’re just going to win the game.” If it’s as simple as a prediction wonder why Bosh didn’t say this before games 3 and 4..

(and Chris Boch, you’re no Joe Namath.)

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Sunday was Father’s Day. Time to call dad. And for those whose fathers are in the NBA. Hope they called early so they didn’t get a busy signal.

 

-QB Vince Young announced his retirement from the NFL. Shocking. Vince Young hadn’t already retired?

Before this week wonder how many people outside of Northern California #StMarys and San Antonio #Spurs had ever heard of Patty Mills?

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Relative unknown Martin Kaymer won the U.S. Open by 9 shots.  And now doubt tournament thought that after Tiger Woods pulled out, that having Phil Mickelson struggle was the worst thing that could happen to their TV ratings.

 

On Friday, #BaseballTonight asked if SF was a lock to win the NL West. Maybe it was better when ESPN was ignoring them. #SFGiants.

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Obama granted Republican Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett’s request to end the Philadelphia area transit strike, by creating a presidential emergency board to mediate the dispute. Waiting to see how the rest of the GOP spins this as wrong.

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Casey Kasem, 82, has passed away. He entertained Americans for years on radio with his countdown of the top 40 singles of the week . Many young people may ask “Casey who?”. Still more are asking “What’s a single?”

 

 

Commercials on ESPN for the USA team in the #WorldCup.”It’s the ‘Group of Death”, only two will come out alive.” Well, yeah, because only two come out of ANY group. Including “Groups of Life?”

 

 

 

French World Cup coach Didier Deschamp said he thinks his team is being spied upon by drones. Well, it’s as least as plausible as the next World Cup having been awarded to Qatar

Spurred on?

June 14, 2014

San Antonio #Spurs stars include Tim Duncan, from the Virgin Islands, Tony Parker, from France, born in Belgum, Manu Ginoboli, Argentina and Boris Diaw, France. And then there are bench players Tiago Splitter, Brazil, Cory Joseph, Canada, Aron Baynes, Argentina and of course, Patty Mills, Australia. It’s like watching the #WorldCup without soccer.

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Lebron James, asked what to do to force a game 6? Uh, score more points than the Spurs?

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Hard to believe it’s been 20 years since the O.J.Simpson saga began. Imagine what the murders, chase and trial would have been like in a social media era.  And probably very un PC to imagine the hashtags.

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Seen on a bottle of “Angry Orchard” hard apple cider. “Naturally gluten free.” Maybe because there is no gluten in apples?

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So has Sergio Romo been given some sort of subsidy to promote liquor sales in the San Francisco area? #SFGiants

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Kanye West, on his goal to surpass legends “I ain’t concerned about anyone who’s living, and added that “I’m going after Shakespeare..” Talk about a midsummer night’s dream.

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The NY Times is reporting on an increasing number of people who want Mitt Romney to run for President. Presume these people are called “Democrats.”

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Amazing. Governor Rick Scott just signed a bill saying that abortions will be illegal in Florida at any point in a woman’s pregnancy if her doctor determines that the fetus could survive outside the womb. His spokesman said he “was glad to sign this bill that protects the lives of children,” But Scott still hasn’t done anything about Medicaid expansion. So Florida’s children better be born tough. (and as Todd says, “be ready to stand their ground.”

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JetBlue Airways today says they apologized to a mother who said her 3 year old daughter had to urinate in her airplane seat because a flight attendant would not let her use the restroom while the plane sat on the tarmac at JFK airport. The JetBlue said they gave the mom a $50 credit and will donate $5000 to her favorite charity. And presumably the airline and others are contemplating a surcharge for seats guaranteed not to have been occupied by toddlers?

 

(as my friend Tim Church says, are they changing their name to “JetEwwwwwwwww”)

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The United Church of Christ in the mid-Atlantic region today passed a resolution telling its 40,000 members not to buy Redskins game tickets or to wear team gear until they change their name. Or presumably until Washington starts winning, whichever comes first. #longwait

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Delay tonight in Oakland for the As and Yankees game due to a power failure.   Maybe Oakland is trying to prove they should host a Super Bowl?

Kings are crowned

June 13, 2014

The San Antonio Spurs are up 3 to 1 in the NBA finals and looking good. But just guessing they aren’t planning yet to co-host a victory celebration with the Stanley Cup champion San Jose Sharks yet.

 

 

Kings beat the Rangers in 2nd OT to claim the Stanley Cup. So for now NY sports fans will have to go back to being disappointed by the Yankees and Mets.

 

 

After Mets reliever Carlos Torres’s bad outing in the 13th last night, he repeatedly punched himself in the head. Shocking Mets fans who didn’t think their bullpen could hit any target.

 

Apparently whether or not the Heat come back won’t affect Lebron James’ decision on opting out of his contract for next year. Though guessing right now he won’t be taking his talents to San Antonio. #dontneedhim.

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The Miami Herald is having a contest where the grand prize is tickets to the #NBAFinals game six. Well, those tickets could be priceless.

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Mostly adorable child who looked to be about 8 or 9 pulling a child-sized rolling suitcase with strapped on teddy bear in airport this morning. The “mostly” being because said child was completely focused on cell phone in hand. #itstartsyoung

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We’re a month out but could Mike Morse and Tim Hudson be the first #MLB teammates to be picked up off the free agent scrap heap by one team and both end up in the All Star game? #SFGiants

 

Donald Sterling may be a nasty old man with dementia. But the 29 most nervous multi-millionaires in the world right now are probably the NBA owners Sterling’s lawyers have vowed to dig up dirt on.

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We’re a month out but could Mike Morse and Tim Hudson be the first #MLB teammates to be picked up off the free agent scrap heap by one team and both end up in the All Star game? #SFGiants

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In Daytona Beach, Florida, a man was arrested for trying to solicit oral sex from an undercover police officer, and he was trying to pay her with a salad. Maybe he should have tried a doughnut

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5-1 #Netherlands over #Spain. Did someone forget to put the soccer ball in the humidor? #WorldCup

 

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Brett Favre says he hasn’t been back to Green Bay since the last game he played (and lost) against them with the Vikings in 2010. But he wants to come back, without being a distraction. So assume Favre still has hopes of being the Packers’ backup quarterback?

Name calling.

June 12, 2014

Last night, Texas Gov. Rick Perry called Hillary Clinton “a very, very capable public servant, great secretary of state and first lady.” The sad thing, with many of Perry’s supporters that comment will be seen as more offensive than his comparing homosexuality to alcoholism.

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Hillary Clinton says the U.S. should lift its embargo on Cuba. Translation, she’s done the math, and between new residents and a younger population, there are just not that many anti-Castro Florida voters any more.

 

The World Cup finally got started today. So fans of serious flopping no longer have to settle for watching the NBA.

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So today is the first day of U.S.Open, and the World Cup. In addition there are several MLB games and game four of the NBA finals. So let’s see how ESPN will somehow manage to lead with an NFL story.

 

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Landon Donovan will now be an in-studio World Cup analyst for ESPN. He’ll be in the tournament a lot longer than US team he was left off of…. #WorldCup

 

( Of course if ESPN really wanted to get Americans watching the World Cup they’d hire Johnny Manziel as an analyst.)

 

 

First day of the #WorldCup and Brazil scores the go-ahead goal on what appears to be an egregious yellow card following a flop by a Brazilian player. But I’m sure it was an accidental mistake. No one would ever accuse FIFA and their host country of anything untoward.

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John Boehner is blaming Eric Cantor’s defeat on Obama. So much for all those who said our President never accomplishes anything.

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The Cleveland Cavaliers are apparently interested in Mark Jackson as their next head coach. Well, the job wouldn’t come with any playoff pressure.

 

 

Harrison Ford, reprising his role as Han Solo, has been injured on the set of the film, “Stars Wars VII”. Apparently by the door of the Millennium Falcon. Did Ford trip over it with his walker?

 

 

Will the cause of #HarrisonFord‘s ankle injury on the set of the new Star Wars movie be listed as too much Force?

 

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So with this colossal mess in Iraq, the GOP will no doubt be blaming President Obama for taking out a strong leader who once had the country under control….. Oops, wait. Never mind.

 

Have to  figure this is being told tonight somewhere. “Heard a good Florida joke?” “The Miami Heat.”

For whom the polls toll?

June 11, 2014

 

All you need to know about today’s Republican party. Eric Cantor just got knocked out in the GOP primary for being too moderate.

 

Eric Cantor’s team showed him with a 34 point lead over David Brat in late May. Yet another reason for the GOP to discount commie-pinko things like numbers

 

 

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75.8% shooting in the first half by #Spurs. I was watching an #NBAFinals game and an #NBA All Star game broke out

 

 

If someone who was watching their first NBA game tonight was told in advance that it would be an aging team of veterans against a younger team of super stars, assume they would have figured the kids were the Spurs?

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Proof that the World Cup isn’t that big a deal in the U.S.: Brazil’s time zone is only an hour ahead of Eastern Daylight time. But matches will be shown in real time, not tape-delayed and “plausibly live.”

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John Calipari turned down an $80 million, 10 year contract to coach the Cleveland Cavaliers. Meaning that the NCAA is at least a year from putting sanctions on Kentucky.

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TCU (Texas Christian University) beat Pepperdine (a California Christian University) 6-5 yesterday to advance to the College World Series. So did God flip a coin to decide whose prayers to answer?

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The Rays have had three straight shut-out losses. Is Tampa Bay trying to be the official MLB team of the World Cup?

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Colts owner Robert Irsay, awaiting a hearing on his DUI arrest, gave an interview to the Indianapolis Star saying how addiction is a disease, but people don’t get help because of the stigma. Perhaps in his case, but how many people also don’t get help because of the cost of treatment and rehab?

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If the four Americans killed in Benghazi had been on leave in Washington, D.C. and were fatally shot by some crazy guy with a handgun, the GOP would have forgotten about them. #sadbuttrue

 

I’m the least PC liberal I know, but George Will, really?? Talking about “sexual assault” only in quotations and saying that colleges are making “victimhood a coveted status that confers privileges.” Really? Makes Limbaugh’s “slut” comment about a woman using birth control almost seem quaint.

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“America Rising,” a Republican opposition research group, attacked Hillary Clinton for being “someone who is extremely out of touch with the financial reality facing Americans,” because the two homes the Clintons purchased in Chappaqua,and D.C. cost around $4.5 million combined. The best part about this, “America Rising” was started by the former campaign manager for Mitt Romney.

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United Airlines announcement today  “We’re changing the MileagePlus® program to reward our members for their travel spending with United®. And we’re adding new ways to use your award miles, to make the frequent flyer program with the best award availability* even better. Translation, “Most of you are getting screwed.”

Continuing Heat wave?

June 6, 2014

San Antonio says they have fixed the air conditioning after a sweltering game 1 at A T & T Center. Considering the result, have they fixed it at a constant 90 degrees? #Spurs

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Lebron James says “I know I’m the easiest target that we have in sports, I’m aware of it.” And A-Rod responded “Who am I, chopped liver?”

 

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Bud Selig twice referred yesterday to the of the 20014 MLB Draft. 20014? Maybe the commissioner was confused. That’s when his Blue Ribbon Committee will make a decision on the proposed move of the Oakland As..

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Rashad McCants, who as a junior was a member of UNC’s championship men’s basketball team, says that tutors wrote his papers and he took ‘bogus” classes to stay eligible during his three years at the university. Gosh,at least Calipari’s “one-and-dones’ only fake their way through one semester.

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J.Lo and Casper Smart have split up. Wonder if she left him for a younger man?

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John McCain is loudly criticizing President Obama’s deal to release Bowe Bergdahl. Which is particularly interesting considering that Senator McCain himself was part of a POW swap by Richard Nixon. #memoryisthefirstthingtogo

 

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Friday was the 70th anniversary of #DDay, the invasion of Normandy. For many college football players not to be confused with days when they found they barely avoided “F”s in class.

 

An analyst says the New York Knicks could now be worth $3 billion. Could you imagine how much the team might be worth if they could actually make the playoffs?

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A Ghana witch doctor says he put a spell on Portugal star Cristiano Ronaldo and caused his thigh injury. Yeah, well if the witch doctor is really good let’s see if he can get Ghana out of the World Cup first round…..

 

 

The first tweet from @CIA -“We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.” Waiting for some GOP House member to call this a time wasting exercise and blame it on Obama.

 

A San Antonio area school district is upsetting some parents by banning children from bringing sunscreen to school or on field trips. Sunscreen is considered a toxic substance. Wonder if it’s okay if kids bring something harmless instead, like guns.

(My friend Jeff Klein adds “Tan your Ground.”)

 

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Richard Sherman beat out Cam Newton in online voting at ESPN.com and so will be on the cover of the new “Madden NFL 15″ video game. Which could be good news, for Panthers and 49ers fans.

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A Seattle Pacific University student monitor who pepper-sprayed the gunman and tackled him is being hailed as a hero. Out of habit the NRA responded, “if only he had been armed.”

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Regarding this Super Bowl Arabic-Roman numbering issue, Marty says he’s looking forward to  “World Series CVIII.”

The Heat is really on

June 5, 2014

The air conditioning broke down at A T & T Center during game 1 of the NBA Finals between the San Antonio and Miami, resulting in temperatures inside the arena topping 90 degrees. And over in New Orleans they’re thinking. “Hah, all we had was a little Super Bowl temporary power blackout.”

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So isn’t it supposed to be the old folks who can’t handle the heat? #MIAvsSA #Spurs #Heat.

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Who knew the Heat couldn’t handle the Heat?

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So the Seattle Pacific University gunman was apparently subdued by pepper-spraying students as he stopped to reload. So the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a non-automatic gun and good guys with pepper spray?

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South Carolina police are investigating how a loaded gun wound up among children’s toys at a Myrtle Beach Target store. Guns in the toy department are only supposed to be found at Walmart.

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A Crowne Plaza in Mexico City is advertising a room as “2 DBL BEDS WITH JACUZZI TUB. VACATION WITH YOUR SWEETIE IN THIS COZY JUNIOR SUITE.” Uh, two double beds? Reminds me of the Cialis ad with two tubs.

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The #HoustonAstros once again had today’s first draft pick. They’re now the #ClevelandCavaliers of MLB.

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Go figure. Hockey-mad Canada has the best team in the AL East, and baseball-mad New York has the best NHL team in the East. Wonder how many Torontonians can name three Blue Jays and how many New Yorkers can name three Rangers.

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A court has suspended Jim Irsay’s driver’s license for one year following his DUI arrest. Guess Roger Goodell will bring the hammer down and punish the Indianapolis Colts’ owner as severely as a player who does something really egregious, like wearing unauthorized socks.

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Understated corporate comment of the month. “You have successfully reset your password. eBay is not requesting that you take any further action at this time. If you would like to call us, please know our colleagues are especially busy right now assisting other customers and we apologize in advance for making you wait.”

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While I know as a Giants fans that the Dodgers could go on a tear any minute, Don Mattingly just said that L.A. “hasn’t felt like a true team at this point.” Gosh, wonder what the rea$on$ for that could be?

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Hillary Clinton in March criticized Vladimir Putin “a tough guy with a thin skin.” Putin’s reply in an interview aired yesterday: “It’s better not to argue with a woman. But Ms. Clinton has never been too graceful in her statements.” Well, at least he proved the second part of her statement.

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Sarah Palin is bashing Obama for releasing prisoners to free a soldier with “Anti-American views.” So I guess in future our armed forces members should fill out a political questionnaire before going to war so we can decide if they are worth saving?

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Bowe Bergdahl may be a young man with some serious issues, but what would Sarah Palin and other GOP politicians be saying if he were one of THEIR sons?

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A new Houston spa, called “Float Baby,” offers babies (with moms nearby) a 1 hour water floatation and infant massage for $65. This is why other countries hate us.

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From T.C.  “Following Super Bowl XLIX, the following year will be marketed as Super Bowl 50, using standard numerals. Why did it take them XVIII weeks to come up with this change?   Btw, The NFL has announced that Super Bowl 50 will be played in the year MMXVI.”

Is it safe?

May 21, 2014

EBay admitted today that hackers broke into their site two months ago, and stole a database full of user information – including customer names, account passwords, email addresses, physical addresses, phone numbers and birth dates. Why worry about government intrusion on our privacy when we have the private sector doing such a spectacular job of it?

 

San Antonio 112, Oklahoma City 77? An advantage to being old? The Spurs played like they had to get home on time for their bedtimes.

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France’s national rail company SNCF admitted yesterday it had ordered 2,000 new trains that are too wide for many station platforms. Well, our citizens may be too wide but our trains at least are skinny enough. USA! USA! USA!

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You just cannot make this “stuff” up. In Arkansas, GOP gubernatorial candidate Asa Hutchinson, who backs the state’s new voter ID law, was originally turned away at the polls because he forgot his ID. He had one of his staff go get the ID, and was then able to vote. Well, of course, and don’t we all have staff for things like that?

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Pat Sajak tweeted “I now believe global warming alarmists are unpatriotic racists knowingly misleading for their own ends. Good night.” Note to Pat, get some vowels and – B_Y   _    CL__.

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There’s been some controversy over the September 11 Memorial and Museum having a gift shop. (9-11 mugs, anyone? Seriously.) But the museum may have gotten that story off the front page, by having a fancy cocktail party at the site last night for big donors. #beyondtonedeaf

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Some think the NFL chose Minneapolis over New Orleans for the 2018 Super Bowl because of the power failure during the 2013 Super Bowl. Right, because everyone would rather spend a week in Minnesota in February rather than spending 20 minutes of that week in the semi-dark in New Orleans.

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A new NBA report says that Donald Sterling and his wife, Rochelle, are not estranged as she now says. The L.A. Times reports the couple is “inextricably intertwined.” Translation, no one else would want either of them.

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Bruce Jenner is going to Paris to give his stepdaughter Kim Kardashian away, again. Wonder what his dress will look like?

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The SF Giants’ Santiago Casilla, who was told not to swing during an 8th inning at-bat, fell while trying to beat out an infield hit and may have to go on the DL. So how long until Giants manager Bruce Bochy sends his relief pitchers at least up to the plate without bats?

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So who besides me really wanted to hear #PresidentObama ask #RichardSherman at the White House today what he thinks of #VladmirPutin?

Sam I Ram.

May 10, 2014

Sign of progress, it seemed absolutely irrelevant today that Michael Sam’s boyfriend is white. #Thetimestheyareachanging #MichaelSa

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A thought about Michael Sam being drafted. Yeah, maybe some in the media are making too much of it. But changes don’t get to be small deals without the first ones being big deals.

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CNN commentator Margaret Hoover, on the Rams’ drafting Michael Sam, that she hopes the message will be for high school kids that “they don’t have to be afraid of choosing to be gay or choosing their dream in sportsmanship and professional sports.”   Just like Jackie Robinson helped kids not be afraid of choosing to be black.

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A.J. McCarron, who is now engaged to Katherine Webb, has been chosen in the NFL draft by Cincinnati. And Brent Musberger has already inquired about broadcasting Bengals games.

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Today is Mother’s Day. Or as they say in the NBA “So many women, so little time.”

 

-It may be “No Country for Old Men” but it sure is a Western Conference Semifinals for old men. #Spurs

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#SFGiants Pablo Sandoval has as much a chance of getting a hit w/ 2 strikes now as Donald Sterling does of getting another NAACP award.

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For the second time in 3 days, planes have hit birds at LaGuardia Airport. No injuries were reported. “Speak for yourselves,” say relatives of the birds.

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Elin Nordegren, speaking at her Rollins College graduation, mentioned that her divorce “was right after I had taken communication and the media… I probably should have taken more notes in that class.” Tiger is just glad Elin wasn’t taking lessons in how to swing a golf club.

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A South Carolina high school teacher has been accused of having sex with three different students in one day. Clearly these budget cutbacks have our educators stretched too thin.

 

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Headline “IndyCar Grand Prix of Indianapolis Marred by Huge Crash.” And a lot of casual racing fans are thinking “Marred?”

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The NBA apparently believes it can also remove Donald Sterling’s estranged wife Shelly from ownership of the Los Angeles Clippers. If private phone conversations are a problem, how much more slippery a slope is being married to an a**hole?

 

Not quite a Virgin flight…

May 7, 2014

A woman was detained and then released by Las Vegas police after she apparently got drunk on board a Virgin Atlantic flight from London and noisily joined the Mile High Club,with a man she had just met on board. The best part – she was traveling with her PARENTS. And you think some of your family vacations have been awkward.

 

 

The NFL Draft is coming Thursday. For the uninitiated, that means for a few days ESPN will be only slightly less fixated on the draft than CNN has been on MH370.

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After a social media storm,  Eric LeGrand is again speaking at Rutgers’ commencement. “I’ll take ‘Damage Control’ for $1000, Alex.”

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Apparently Toronto mayor Rob Ford may have disappeared on his way to rehab in Chicago. You actually kind of hope he’s hiking the Appalachian Trail

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Golden State Warriors have fired coach Mark Jackson, saying they think “it’s time to move in a different direction.” Like back out of the playoffs?

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SFGiants are getting about as much production out of Pablo Sandoval as they would if he were on the DL.

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Many frustrated #SFGiants fans want Bruce Bochy to bat Pablo Sandoval 8th. Although there are others who disagree and think the Panda should bat 9th.

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Anyone who needs a reason to root for the San Antonio Spurs, I give you coach Gregg Popovich. He’s been having WNBA star Becky Hammon, who wants to coach someday, attend practices. And Popovich says about a female NBA coach someday – “I don’t see why not. There shouldn’t be any limitations. It’s about talent and the ability to do things. It’s not about what your sex is or your race is or anything else

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The Spurs were on a roll. Tonight looked like one of the most uneven matchups in San Antonio since the Alamo.

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Would ANYONE who hadn’t watched the regular season and just turned in for the #NBAplayoffs have guessed the #IndianaPacers were a #1 seed?

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Monica Lewinsky, in a Vanity Fair article: “I, myself, deeply regret what happened between me and President Clinton. Let me say it again: I. Myself. Deeply. Regret. What. Happened.” More like she regrets a – getting caught, and b- not having that fifteen minutes of fame turn into something lucrative?

 

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Just an open note to those in the GOP who want to use Monica Lewinsky’s book against Hillary. The American public knows Bill Clinton is a tomcat. We knew that when we elected him the first time. And we would have elected him a third time if possible. Yeah it makes for good punchlines but in the big picture nobody cares.So get over it. #puritans

 

From Marc Ragovin;  ” Willie Mays turned 83 on Tuesday. Of course he has now gone from “say hey” to “what did you say?””

 

Midsummer classic?

June 18, 2013

You know a season might have gone on too long when you hear the term #MidsummerClassic and think possible #NBA finals game 7.

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The makers of Oreos have come out with a new watermelon flavored Oreo with pink and green fillings. “We think (it’s) a fun summer creme flavor that goes great with our Golden Oreo cookie,” a spokeswoman said. Here’s an idea, how about if you like watermelon flavor you pair your cookies with actual FRUIT.

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And who had this… as of right now Justin Verlander has the fourth best ERA of Detroit Tigers’ starters. Behind   Doug Fister, Anibal Sanchez , and Max Scherzer.

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Chris Christie says his favorite baseball team is the NY Mets. Makes some sense. Their performance usually guarantees he will look good by comparison.

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Dick Cheney says that after his heart transplant says he now wakes up each morning “with a smile on my face, thankful for the gift of another day I never expected to see.” Wonder if he’s privately thinking, if I knew I’d have felt this good, I’d have shot a potental donor a long time ago.

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Brilliant NBA finals half-time analysis: If the Heat don’t play better in the second half they are going to lose. Uh, considering the Spurs were up six at half, a pretty good guess.

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Gosh, a no call on a Heat foul on Manu Ginóbili driving for a potential game winner? Who’d a thunk that might happen in Miami?

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#NBAFinals referees. Combining the accurary of MLB umps with the integrity of Olympic figure skating.

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The NY Yankees and LA Dodgers are playing an interleague series. What were SF Giants fans rooting for? Presumably rain.

(Which they got  – a rainout.  Though Bill Schmarzo suggests “No, a 45 inning extra game where they blow the arms of all their relievers.”)

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Birthers, they’re baaack……This time it’s South Carolina GOP Rep. Jeff Duncan questioning Obama’s birth certificate and thus the “President’s validity.” Although no doubt Duncan has no problem with Ted Cruz, who Republicans say is “natural-born” enough because he was born in Canada to a mother who was a U.S. citizen.

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My friend Howard Fox notes:   “Kim Kardashian’s daughter already has one thing in common with her mom. She’s famous for absolutely nothing.”

My thought  –  So how long until Kim leaks the birth tape as a 2 DVD set with her sex tape?

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#Funwithstats    In 2012, Texas and Florida were the top two states for guns seized at airports by TSA, with 255 and 129 respectively. Although the highest totals at individual airports were Atlanta with 97 and DFW with 80. Phoenix, a much smaller airport, was 3rd with 54. But as Arizona says “We try harder.”

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San Jose is suing MLB over the league’s endless delays on a vote about the Oakland A’s moving to their city. Wonder if Bud Selig will assemble a team of “blue ribbon” lawyers to fight the suit.

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All you baseball fans on the East Coast, you are missing the late-night emergence of the Giants’ Juan Perez…. 4 outfield assists in a handful of games, one game-winner taken away by Venable’s catch last night, one 3-2, 2 out hit in the 8th to give SF the lead…. Puig who?

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And we wonder why Congress has 10% approval ratings. Speaker John Boehner says “I don’t see any way of bringing an immigration bill to the floor (for a vote) that doesn’t have majority support of Republicans.” And yet, he and the GOP will have a vote today on a bill banning abortions after 22 weeks that will not make it through the Senate, and which Obama would veto anyway.

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A serious thought for a change. Wonder how much of the mess in this country we could be fixed by getting rid of gerrymandered Congressional borders. It’s not just that the Democrats won 1.4 million more House votes in 2012, it’s that right now House members only have to please their carefully engineered safe districts and have no incentive to compromise.

Oldies but goodies.

June 11, 2013

The San Antonio Spurs actually play like girls. And I mean that as a compliment.

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Last time there was a massacre like this in #SanAntonio, I believe the #Alamo was involved. #Spurs

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Meanwhile, what a brawl between the #Dodgers and #Dbacks. Wow! These guys put up more of a fight than the #Heat did tonight in #SanAntonio.

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As my friend Joe Salvatore pointed out:  “Involved in the Diamondbacks Dodgers brawl :Trammell, Sax, Matt Williams, Baylor, Mattingly, Gibson, McGwire. I love the 80’s”

(Wonder if they were hitting each other with their canes?)

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My friend Jeff Klein points out that down in Southern California, “People started lining up at 2 a.m. for Lawry’s prime rib for $1.25 (the cost of a dinner when Lawry’s first opened 75 years ago). But people get mad when they have to stand in line and wait 20 minutes to vote. What a country.”

I guess the moral of the story, to increase voter turnout, give away free food at the polls.

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Warner Bros has decided to drop a planned sequel to the movie “Dumb and Dumber.” Guess the studio figured that when it comes to “Dumb and Dumber” no movie these days could possibly be a match for reality.

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Just a thought for folks worried that the government will know exactly what you are reading. There’s a cure for that. Use cash and buy a magazine, newspaper or an actual book.

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Ian Stewart, hitting .164 at Triple A Iowa, ranted last night on Twitter saying the Cubs organization is letting him “rot” and “might as well release me.” If Chicago releases Stewart they are on the hook for his $2 million salary. But maybe after that rant they will do something better, like trade him to the Marlins.

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Discount carrier Allegiant Air had passengers stuck on a Las Vegas tarmac in two different planes for more than four hours. At one point passengers joined together for a group singalong to “I Believe I Can Fly.” Wonder if Allegiant then hit others on the plane with an entertainment charge.

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The SF Giants are expected to place Pablo Sandoval on the DL with a foot strain.
Wonder if the trainer will tape up Panda’s foot. Might be more effective to tape over his mouth.

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After Marco Scutaro was injured by being hit with a pitch, and the Giants retaliated by hitting Andrew McCutchen, expect bad blood between SF and Pittsburgh tomorrow. But if Barry Zito hits a Pirate with a pitch, how will that player be able to tell?

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“ESPN the Magazine” asked CB Richard Sherman if Seattle Seahawks have a problem with PED’s, his response “it does seem that way.” Not sure what Sherman majored in at Stanford but guessing it wasn’t Communication.

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There are allegations that in Hillary Clinton’s State Department, staff may have engaged prostitutes. There’s a name for people like that – they’re called “men.”

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Booz Allen says they have fired #EdwardSnowden. And who saw THAT coming?

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Okay, Mayor Bloomberg and his attempted nanny law on large sugary drinks was stupid. But for a bit of perspective, in Turkey earlier this month, President Erdogan proposed bans on alcohol and public displays of affection…. And how’s that working out for him.

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Oklahoma, More than O.K.

June 7, 2012

How young are the Oklahoma City Thunder? For example, Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant, both 24, are basically the same age Mark Madsen was during his senior year playing basketball at Stanford.

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On the other hand, how old are the San Antonio Spurs?  Well, they won’t win the NBA championship, but at least the team’s playoff winnings should be supplemented by Medicare.

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Jeb Bush said in an interview today that he probably should have run for president in 2012: “This was probably my time.,” Translation “These clowns in the primary made even my brother look smart by comparison.”

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Some seem surprised that most of the Sandusky jurors have ties to Penn State. Uh, folks, the trial is in Bellefonte, Pennsylvania, population 6,187, 12 miles from the PSU campus. Why else would you move there WITHOUT ties to Penn State?

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Sports fans in Los Angeles may not normally pay much attention to hockey. But they are really getting into this idea of a Kings sweep to win the Stanley Cup. In fact, when asked on Wednesday,  many of them said they can’t wait for  the night’s kickoff.

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Ya think Bill Clinton still misses the presidential limelight? At this point it would be a close call to measure him and Donald Trump for the larger ego.

June 6 was the 44th anniversary of the death of RFK after he was assassinated following the California primary. Had he lived, Kennedy would be 87 years old. Or as Larry King would say “Still a mere child.”

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In the latest installment of the second Roger Clemens perjury trial, a expert paid by the defense testified that Clemens’ DNA found on a syringe needle could have been placed there intentionally. Here’s the real question at this point. Is there anyone left in America who really cares anymore? -

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45 people were just indicted in Puerto Rico for drug smuggling. American Airlines employees were allegedly transporting and loaded suitcases filled with cocaine to the cargo area, and putting them on flights to Miami, Orlando and Newark. Hmm, was it a tip off that the luggage handlers were working really really fast?

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Regarding Wisconsin: I am no fan of Scott Walker, but it still strikes me that recalls are a waste of money. You have buyer’s remorse, wait until the next election and think about your vote more carefully the next time.


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