Posted tagged ‘rose bowl jokes’

That Rosy feeling.

January 2, 2013

I see red people.

red

Anyone else twisted enough to wish that the Stanford band had done a “Road to the Rose Bowl” halftime show for Wisconsin? Since that road went through the tattoo parlors of Columbus, Ohio, and the showers of Penn State….

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Some trash talking from Berkeley folks that Stanford didn’t win impressively enough today in Pasadena. Alas, I can’t counter…somehow forgot how Cal did in this year’s bowl game.

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Stanford Cardinal today trying to become second California team to win a bowl game this season. (Joining the San Jose State Spartans.)

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Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett said today he plans to sue the NCAA in federal court over the sanctions against Penn State. Just when the whole sordid mess has faded a little from the headlines…..

(as my friend Michael Duca says “Immediately moving House Republicans into bronze medal position in the Tone Deafness Olympics (also bumping NRA out of the Gold Medal)).

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Crystal Harris, 26, and Hugh Hefner, 86, are married, a year after Crystal called off their 2011 wedding, claiming that sex with Hef lasted “like two seconds.” Will the happy couple now announce that last night was the best two seconds of their lives?

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Good news – the fiscal cliff has temporarily been averted,.  Bad news – instead of really walking away from the cliff congress just decided to rest on the ledge for a couple months.

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An Orange Bowl official reportedly told Northern Illinois “We didn’t even want you here.” And most of America responded said “Exactly how we feel about the whole BCS system.”

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The SF 49ers signed kicker Billy Cundiff to compete with struggling field goal kicker David Akers.  Cundiff was released in November by the Washington Redskins after missing 5 of his 12 field goal attempts…  5 of 12?!    Well, at worst Cundiff will assure that San Francisco field goal attempts are good for beer sales.

Winning bet?

December 2, 2012

Okay, going out on a limb here and willing to bet that a team wearing white and red will win the Rose Bowl.

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Before any Stanford fans freak out about the 70 points Wisconsin put up against Nebraska, two reality checks: 1. The Badgers have FIVE losses. 2. One of these losses was 10-7 against Oregon State.

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One thought going through the head of any long-time Stanford fan watching the Big Ten championship – “Thank God Ron Dayne has graduated.”

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A little perspective, please? SF Chronicle story about SF 49ers QB Alex Smith is headlined “Playing well and then a cruel twist of fate.” Uh, I have no doubt Smith is disappointed to be demoted, but he’s young, healthy and making $5 million this year – Life could be a lot worse.

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So now that we are learning that on any given Saturday any SEC team can beat another, it’s a shame we don’t really know how they match up with Pac 12 teams… Gosh, if only there was a way to compare them on the field.

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Oregon State played Nicholls State, from Thibodaux, LA, today in a “home opener” rescheduled from Sept 1. due to Hurricane Isaac. The Beavers won 77-3. Wonder if Nicholls State can re-apply for disaster relief.

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A new dating site, Meetattheairport.com, is designed for travelers to meet while they are waiting for their flights. Let’s hope the major airlines don’t get wind of this…they may start charging more for delays as potential extra mingling time.

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So what exactly does it take to get national respect? Announcers on CBS Sports just talked about how UCLA outplayed Stanford yesterday but won’t go to the Rose Bowl because they lost the game….. (really.)

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Finally some good news in the court of public opinion for Lindsay Lohan? Tiffany Williams, the woman she allegedly punched in Manhattan, has hired Gloria Allred as her lawyer.


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