Posted tagged ‘Romney jokes’

To theology and beyond?

February 22, 2012

Mitt Romney’s latest speech Tuesday night said that the Obama adminstration has “fought against religion.” Rick Santorum’s talking about phony ideology, and Newt Gingrich is zealously defending his new Catholicism. Are we electing a President or a Pope? – Rick Santorum is talking about President Obama’s “phony theology not based on the Bible.” Leaving aside [...]

From Moneyball to Mannyball.

February 21, 2012

Yes, it’s true, Manny Ramirez has signed a minor league with the As?!! Stay tuned for “Mannyball.” Wonder if this will be a comedy or a tragedy? Or both? – With Manny Ramirez back in baseball with the A’s, are some sports fans going from Linsanity to Manny-ic Depression? – Fox pundit Liz Trotta has [...]

No “I” in Team. But there is an “I” in Giselle.

February 7, 2012

Chrysler’s “Halftime in America” Super Bowl ad is being talked about as a potential boost for President Obama. Republicans are just trying to figure out how to discredit that liberal icon Clint Eastwood. – “Extra” TV host Maria Menounos, a New England fan, paid off on a bet by wearing a New York Giants bikini [...]

America’s game

February 4, 2012

Your tax dollars at work: 35% of people who attend the Super Bowl write it off as a corporate expense. – Wonder which team Mitt Romney has picked for his $10,000 bet on the Super Bowl? – Newt Gingrich’s latest rant Friday was against the New York City “elites.” Well, at least that leaves out [...]

What’s in a name?

January 31, 2012

Newt Gingrich calls Mitt Romney a “liar.” Romney calls Gingrich a “loser.” How long until we graduate to “booger-face” and “poo-poo head?” – The story of Mitt Romney putting his dog in a crate on the roof while driving to a family vacation is increasingly getting media attention. Suppose it is probably a good thing [...]

Where’s FEMA when you need them?

January 28, 2012

This just in: Penn State campus police say they are investigating a report that Joe Paterno may be sick. – Mitt Romney was campaigning in Orlando today. It went well except for one awkward moment when a Disney employee saw him and reported that one of their audio-animatronic figures must have gotten loose. – Apple’s [...]

State of the Union?

January 25, 2012

President Obama’s speech tonight was very realistic in one regard. While he returned to the theme of Washington being broken, he offered no over-optimistic plans to fix the Wizards and Redskins. – - Another post State of the Union thought. President Obama was much more civil to the GOP than Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney [...]

Winning?

January 24, 2012

Mitt Romney says Gingrich is “erratic,” Newt Gingrich says Romney “can’t be trusted.” Who’s winning? President Obama. – Costa and their so-to-be-ex Captain are going at each other hot and heavy in the media as to assigning blame for the crash and sinking of the Concordia. Will the famous term for buck-passing be updated to [...]

That sinking feeling.

January 20, 2012

Thirty minutes after the Costa Concordia hit the rocks, the captain is heard insisting that his cruise ship only had a blackout. That’s like Captain John Smith saying “it was only a little ice.” According to an Italian newspaper, Costa Concordia Captain Schettino said to a judge that he miscalculated when steering the ship close [...]

When we hope the Lights Don’t Go Down in the City.

January 16, 2012

The 49ers get another playoff home game, which should be at night. Will ticket holders be asked to bring flashlights? – Lakers 73, Dallas 70? Or was that score left over from a Baylor football game? – How long until we start seeing Costa Concordia cocktails? Presumably something Italian on the rocks, with a lot [...]

Tough ladies.

January 13, 2012

Demi Moore, 49, who recently ended her marriage to Ashton Kutcher, 33, is now apparently dating a 26 year old male model. Just one thing to say – “You go girl!” – Michelle Obama is denying reports in a recent book of tension between her and White House aides. The First Lady says people have [...]

Scavenger hunting.

January 12, 2012

Mitt Romney is denying allegations that he is a “vulture capitalist.” He has a point, vultures only take as much as they need to survive. – Manny Ramirez says if some MLB team gives him another chance he could be a role model. Uh, hasn’t Manny already been a role model. As in “No matter [...]

Bowled over. Finally.

January 11, 2012

Finally. Not saying bowl season goes on too long, but even many guys had to be thinking, Ah heck, enough, let’s switch to the channel where the guy gets to choose between all the hot scantily clad chicks. – Monday night’s LSU-Alabama rematch was the lowest-rated BCS title game ever. Rumor has it at some [...]

3 16

January 9, 2012

Yes, you cannot make this “stuff” up, Tim Tebow threw for 3 16 yards tonight. Coincidentally the number of his favorite bible verse. Not to be confused with Ben Roethlisberger’s favorite 3 16 – three 16 year olds. (Okay, okay, so the alleged victim was 20. He was 28.) – But really, First play in [...]

Riddle me this…

January 1, 2012

Why do Dallas Cowboys fans have the biggest flat screen televisions? Because for years they haven’t had to waste money on playoff tickets. – And yes, for the third time in four years, the Dallas Cowboys will not be in the playoffs. No punchline, I just like writing this. – Newt Gingrich is now blaming [...]

Really?

December 31, 2011

Mitt Romney compared President Obama to Marie Antoinette as a way to say the President is out of touch with everyday Americans. Really? Mitt Romney saying Obama is out of touch is like Herman Cain saying Bill Clinton is a lousy husband. – Mitt Romney’s son Matt said that his father would release his tax [...]

One one thousand, two one thousand….

December 23, 2011

You cannot make this “stuff” up – Christmas Eve Eve edition: Rick Perry apparently won’t appear on Virginia’s primary GOP ballot after he submitted petition without enough signatures. Maybe the Texas governor should have paid a little more attention in math class? – Monta Ellis is denying comment on sexual harassment charges, and the Warriors [...]

Truth in advertising?

December 22, 2011

Ad for a Florida chain – “Dick’s Sporting Goods” “Every season begins with Dicks.” You can say that again. (From Tammy Serna again, “One could argue Christmas started without one.”) – Matt Barkley called a news conference today to announce whether or not he is staying in school or entering the draft? A news conference? [...]

Geaux Clippers?

December 15, 2011

Now that New Orleans star Chris Paul is heading to Los Angeles, will the team’s motto be “Geaux Clippers”? – So Chris Paul is now a Clipper. Well, he’ll probably get about as many passes from Kobe Bryant as he would if he had joined the Lakers. – As a Wilt, Kareem, and Magic fan, [...]

Which witch?

December 14, 2011

Christine O’Donnell announced tonight she is backing Mitt Romney. Well, while Mitt is trying to appease Christians who have a problem with his Mormonism,a the endorsement of a former Senate candidate who “dabbled” in witchcraft should be just what he needs…. – Donald Trump just backed out of the Newsmax GOP debate – which had [...]


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