Posted tagged ‘NCAAj jokes’

Not so greatest hit?

November 30, 2012

After she allegedly punched another woman in the face at a Manhattan nightclub, Lindsay Lohan was arrested early this morning. So congratulations to all those who had November 29 in the pool.

-

Silver lining for Lindsay Lohan after her latest arrest, for punching a woman in the face at a nightclub. She may not get any new offers to star in made-for-TV movies, but Lohan stands a good chance of a contract from Celebrity Boxing.

B.J. Upton,, who hit .246 last year, signed a $75.25 million, five-year contract with the Atlanta Braves. Forget the Hall of Fame, MLB players should build a SHRINE to Marvin Miller and Curt Flood..

-

You cannot make this “stuff” up: Hostess Brands Inc. is asking a judge to approve giving its top execs bonuses totaling up to $1.8 million. The company says the incentive pay is needed to retain the 19 managers during the liquidation process, which could take about a year. Maybe they could pay them in Twinkies?

-

V.P. Joe Biden made a public shopping trip and chose the new Costco in Washington, D.C. Makes sense, picking up “a few” items at Costco is like Biden himself saying “a few” words.

From my funny friend Jerry Perisho: “As Mitt Romney drove away following the meeting, White House staffers did a quick check to locate Bo.”

-

“Honey Badger” Tyrann Mathieu was suspended from the LSU team in Aug. over drug charges, then arrested for marijuana possession while in rehab. Now Mathieu is entering the next NFL draft, saying he is “committed to tackling my personal issues” And what better place than the NFL to avoid temptation?

-

A Oregon man lost on Mount Hood in a blizzard was rescued from a storm after he posted a screenshot to Facebook with his GPS coordinates. Of course, maybe if he hadn’t been updating his FB page while hiking he might not have gotten lost in the first place.

-

While they didn’t hit the big Powerball, 20 police officers in Columbus, Ohio will share a $1 million prize. To paraphrase Homer Simpson “Mmm, donuts. LOTS of donuts….”

-

The  NCAA just approved a bowl waiver for Georgia Tech’s, allowing them to playa bowl game even if they lose to Florida State this weekend and finish 6-7.  Well, how heartbreaking is this for all those 5-8 teams who came oh so close to the postseason….

 

-

The Spurs will apparently be fined after sending Tim Duncan, Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili home to rest before playing the Grizzlies Saturday, causing them to miss Thursday’s game against the Heat. Guess San Antonio should have followed NBA regular season protocol and just had their stars show up and sleepwalk through the game.


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 215 other followers