Posted tagged ‘NBA jokes’

Jolly good show.

July 6, 2014

That Djokovic Federer #Wimbledon2014 final lasted longer than many celebrity marriages.

-

Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic both spoke during the awards ceremony after Wimbledon final. Nothing but class. Maybe they should record the ceremony and commentary as a training video for athletes in some other sports.

-

And Wimbledon always brings to mind some of my favorite bathroom graffiti, seen years ago in London, on the side of the stall  – “Wimbledon spectator practice, see other wall.”  And of course on the other side-.  “Wimbledon spectator practice, see other wall.”

 

-

Boris Diaw announced via Twitter that he is returning to the Spurs. After no rumors or public discussions with other teams. Once again, San Antonio falls down in the drama department.

-

In two separate July 4 incidents in Northern California,  three people had part or all of their hands blown off while handling personal fireworks. Isn’t it redundant for the media to report all three people were men?

-

 

Oops. the Houston Astros single-A affliliate Lancaster JetHawks had fireworks night Saturday, and ended up lighting the outfield wall on fire. (This after another fireworks accident in 2013.) Guess it’s not just their players who aren’t quite ready for the big leagues.

-

Nelson Cruz was voted to start the All-Star Game a year after his 50-game PED suspension. If Cruz wins the game’s MVP award will Bud Selig smile and shake his hand by invoking the ABB “Anyone But Bonds” clause?.

-

Buck Showalter, responding to Red Sox pitcher John Lackey’s insinuations about Nelson Cruz and PED’s, said that Lackey should be “careful” and look at his own team. Wonder which “Big” hitter the Orioles manager was referring to?

-

Most amazing thing about the Brandon McCarthy to the Yankees trade? The Diamondbacks will still pay most of McCarthy’s 2014 salary. #Richgetricher

 

From T.C.. “Most of the Italian, Spanish and Portuguese players promised they’d be back for the 2016 Summer Olympics.  Of course then they’ll be competing in men’s diving.”

Most of the World Cup Italian, Spanish and Portuguese players promised they’ll be back in 2016 for the Summer Olympics. Of course, they will then be representing their countries in Men’s Diving.

Comedy writer TC Chong of Vancouver (http://alwaysfunny.co

- See more at: http://hqprincegeorge.com/hartley-millers-hart-attack-july-4-2014-edition-478/#sthash.XbeHZGZK.dpuf

Most of the World Cup Italian, Spanish and Portuguese players promised they’ll be back in 2016 for the Summer Olympics. Of course, they will then be representing their countries in Men’s Diving.

Comedy writer TC Chong of Vancouver (http://alwaysfunny.co

- See more at: http://hqprincegeorge.com/hartley-millers-hart-attack-july-4-2014-edition-478/#sthash.XbeHZGZK.dpuf

Most of the World Cup Italian, Spanish and Portuguese players promised they’ll be back in 2016 for the Summer Olympics. Of course, they will then be representing their countries in Men’s Diving.

Comedy writer TC Chong of Vancouver (http://alwaysfunny.co

- See more at: http://hqprincegeorge.com/hartley-millers-hart-attack-july-4-2014-edition-478/#sthash.XbeHZGZK.dpuf

Water world.

July 3, 2014

A Qantas flight from Los Angeles to Melbourne had to turn back when a pipe burst, sending a river of water rushing through the plane. On United they would have just kept going and charged a swimming pool fee.

 

Qantas may be changing their pre-flight briefing.  “In case of rushing water in the aisle, passengers wishing to use the restroom may use their seat cushion as a flotation device.”

-

-

Silver lining about all these religious universities whose beliefs are so pure they don’t want the government involved in their health insurance – it will save taxpayer money because they won’t want tainted government funds for their research grants and student loans, right? #wecandream

-

Apparently the #WorldCup television ratings have been higher than those of the NBA finals. #Betterflopping?

-

 

All these NBA players working so hard to see if they can end up on teams together… If they spent as much effort actually working on playing as a team together maybe some of these prima donnas would have a better chance for a ring.

-

 

SportsCenter Breaking News “Lebron James agent meets with multiple teams.” “Lakers and Knicks offer max to Carmelo.” This isn’t an NBA off-season, it’s a bad mini-series of “The Dating Game.”

-

#SFGiants manager Bruce Bochy says he will drop Blanco – 10 for 59 since Pagan got hurt- down in the batting order “until he gets his swing.” Uh, except what if 10 for 59 IS his swing?

 

-

Overheard around U.S water coolers today. “Hey, do you know when the next World Cup games are?” “No, me neither.”

-

Hillary Clinton said in a BBC interview that she’s “grateful” she forgave Bill over Monica Lewinsky. “Forgiveness is a choice, and I fully respect those who don’t make that choice for whatever reason in their personal or professional lives .But for me, it was absolutely the right choice.” So where’s the applause from “family values” conservatives?

-

-

Stay classy Mississippi. GOP State Sen. Chris McDaniel is offering a $1,000 ‘reward’ for evidence of voter fraud by Senator Thad Cochran, who beat him in the Republican Primary. In this case the “Big Tent” is more like a cover over a boxing ring.

-

The economy added 288,000 jobs in June and the unemployment rate fell to 6.1% – the lowest it’s been since September 2008. Time for the GOP to call another hearing on Benghazi.

-

From an anonymous friend “Next up: SCOTUS declares the Universal Suffrage Amendment unconstitutional because “it wasn’t in the original Constitution, so the Founding Fathers didn’t want it”. Cave paintings at 11″

-

-

From Bill Littlejohn  “Food and drink will be delivered to 49er fans at the new Levi’s Stadium via GPS tracking.  Maybe they might reconsider Apple Maps, however, as a couple of construction workers there, however, report that recently their lunches were sent into San Francisco Bay”

The Heat is Gone

June 16, 2014

#SanAntonioSpurs win the #NBA championship with a team comprised largely of immigrants. I blame Obama.

-

Apparently tonight this IS a country for old men. #Spurs

-

Chris Bosh “Plain and simple, we’re going to win tonight. Asked if he was guaranteeing a victory, Bosh said: “I don’t care about guarantees. We’re just going to win the game.” If it’s as simple as a prediction wonder why Bosh didn’t say this before games 3 and 4..

(and Chris Boch, you’re no Joe Namath.)

-

Sunday was Father’s Day. Time to call dad. And for those whose fathers are in the NBA. Hope they called early so they didn’t get a busy signal.

 

-QB Vince Young announced his retirement from the NFL. Shocking. Vince Young hadn’t already retired?

Before this week wonder how many people outside of Northern California #StMarys and San Antonio #Spurs had ever heard of Patty Mills?

-

Relative unknown Martin Kaymer won the U.S. Open by 9 shots.  And now doubt tournament thought that after Tiger Woods pulled out, that having Phil Mickelson struggle was the worst thing that could happen to their TV ratings.

 

On Friday, #BaseballTonight asked if SF was a lock to win the NL West. Maybe it was better when ESPN was ignoring them. #SFGiants.

-

Obama granted Republican Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett’s request to end the Philadelphia area transit strike, by creating a presidential emergency board to mediate the dispute. Waiting to see how the rest of the GOP spins this as wrong.

-

Casey Kasem, 82, has passed away. He entertained Americans for years on radio with his countdown of the top 40 singles of the week . Many young people may ask “Casey who?”. Still more are asking “What’s a single?”

 

 

Commercials on ESPN for the USA team in the #WorldCup.”It’s the ‘Group of Death”, only two will come out alive.” Well, yeah, because only two come out of ANY group. Including “Groups of Life?”

 

 

 

French World Cup coach Didier Deschamp said he thinks his team is being spied upon by drones. Well, it’s as least as plausible as the next World Cup having been awarded to Qatar

Kings are crowned

June 13, 2014

The San Antonio Spurs are up 3 to 1 in the NBA finals and looking good. But just guessing they aren’t planning yet to co-host a victory celebration with the Stanley Cup champion San Jose Sharks yet.

 

 

Kings beat the Rangers in 2nd OT to claim the Stanley Cup. So for now NY sports fans will have to go back to being disappointed by the Yankees and Mets.

 

 

After Mets reliever Carlos Torres’s bad outing in the 13th last night, he repeatedly punched himself in the head. Shocking Mets fans who didn’t think their bullpen could hit any target.

 

Apparently whether or not the Heat come back won’t affect Lebron James’ decision on opting out of his contract for next year. Though guessing right now he won’t be taking his talents to San Antonio. #dontneedhim.

-

The Miami Herald is having a contest where the grand prize is tickets to the #NBAFinals game six. Well, those tickets could be priceless.

-

Mostly adorable child who looked to be about 8 or 9 pulling a child-sized rolling suitcase with strapped on teddy bear in airport this morning. The “mostly” being because said child was completely focused on cell phone in hand. #itstartsyoung

-

We’re a month out but could Mike Morse and Tim Hudson be the first #MLB teammates to be picked up off the free agent scrap heap by one team and both end up in the All Star game? #SFGiants

 

Donald Sterling may be a nasty old man with dementia. But the 29 most nervous multi-millionaires in the world right now are probably the NBA owners Sterling’s lawyers have vowed to dig up dirt on.

-

We’re a month out but could Mike Morse and Tim Hudson be the first #MLB teammates to be picked up off the free agent scrap heap by one team and both end up in the All Star game? #SFGiants

-

In Daytona Beach, Florida, a man was arrested for trying to solicit oral sex from an undercover police officer, and he was trying to pay her with a salad. Maybe he should have tried a doughnut

-

5-1 #Netherlands over #Spain. Did someone forget to put the soccer ball in the humidor? #WorldCup

 

-

Brett Favre says he hasn’t been back to Green Bay since the last game he played (and lost) against them with the Vikings in 2010. But he wants to come back, without being a distraction. So assume Favre still has hopes of being the Packers’ backup quarterback?

For whom the polls toll?

June 11, 2014

 

All you need to know about today’s Republican party. Eric Cantor just got knocked out in the GOP primary for being too moderate.

 

Eric Cantor’s team showed him with a 34 point lead over David Brat in late May. Yet another reason for the GOP to discount commie-pinko things like numbers

 

 

-

75.8% shooting in the first half by #Spurs. I was watching an #NBAFinals game and an #NBA All Star game broke out

 

 

If someone who was watching their first NBA game tonight was told in advance that it would be an aging team of veterans against a younger team of super stars, assume they would have figured the kids were the Spurs?

-

 

Proof that the World Cup isn’t that big a deal in the U.S.: Brazil’s time zone is only an hour ahead of Eastern Daylight time. But matches will be shown in real time, not tape-delayed and “plausibly live.”

-

John Calipari turned down an $80 million, 10 year contract to coach the Cleveland Cavaliers. Meaning that the NCAA is at least a year from putting sanctions on Kentucky.

-

TCU (Texas Christian University) beat Pepperdine (a California Christian University) 6-5 yesterday to advance to the College World Series. So did God flip a coin to decide whose prayers to answer?

-

The Rays have had three straight shut-out losses. Is Tampa Bay trying to be the official MLB team of the World Cup?

-

Colts owner Robert Irsay, awaiting a hearing on his DUI arrest, gave an interview to the Indianapolis Star saying how addiction is a disease, but people don’t get help because of the stigma. Perhaps in his case, but how many people also don’t get help because of the cost of treatment and rehab?

-

 

If the four Americans killed in Benghazi had been on leave in Washington, D.C. and were fatally shot by some crazy guy with a handgun, the GOP would have forgotten about them. #sadbuttrue

 

I’m the least PC liberal I know, but George Will, really?? Talking about “sexual assault” only in quotations and saying that colleges are making “victimhood a coveted status that confers privileges.” Really? Makes Limbaugh’s “slut” comment about a woman using birth control almost seem quaint.

-

“America Rising,” a Republican opposition research group, attacked Hillary Clinton for being “someone who is extremely out of touch with the financial reality facing Americans,” because the two homes the Clintons purchased in Chappaqua,and D.C. cost around $4.5 million combined. The best part about this, “America Rising” was started by the former campaign manager for Mitt Romney.

-

United Airlines announcement today  “We’re changing the MileagePlus® program to reward our members for their travel spending with United®. And we’re adding new ways to use your award miles, to make the frequent flyer program with the best award availability* even better. Translation, “Most of you are getting screwed.”

Continuing Heat wave?

June 6, 2014

San Antonio says they have fixed the air conditioning after a sweltering game 1 at A T & T Center. Considering the result, have they fixed it at a constant 90 degrees? #Spurs

-

 

Lebron James says “I know I’m the easiest target that we have in sports, I’m aware of it.” And A-Rod responded “Who am I, chopped liver?”

 

-

Bud Selig twice referred yesterday to the of the 20014 MLB Draft. 20014? Maybe the commissioner was confused. That’s when his Blue Ribbon Committee will make a decision on the proposed move of the Oakland As..

-

Rashad McCants, who as a junior was a member of UNC’s championship men’s basketball team, says that tutors wrote his papers and he took ‘bogus” classes to stay eligible during his three years at the university. Gosh,at least Calipari’s “one-and-dones’ only fake their way through one semester.

-

J.Lo and Casper Smart have split up. Wonder if she left him for a younger man?

-

John McCain is loudly criticizing President Obama’s deal to release Bowe Bergdahl. Which is particularly interesting considering that Senator McCain himself was part of a POW swap by Richard Nixon. #memoryisthefirstthingtogo

 

-

Friday was the 70th anniversary of #DDay, the invasion of Normandy. For many college football players not to be confused with days when they found they barely avoided “F”s in class.

 

An analyst says the New York Knicks could now be worth $3 billion. Could you imagine how much the team might be worth if they could actually make the playoffs?

-

 

A Ghana witch doctor says he put a spell on Portugal star Cristiano Ronaldo and caused his thigh injury. Yeah, well if the witch doctor is really good let’s see if he can get Ghana out of the World Cup first round…..

 

 

The first tweet from @CIA -”We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.” Waiting for some GOP House member to call this a time wasting exercise and blame it on Obama.

 

A San Antonio area school district is upsetting some parents by banning children from bringing sunscreen to school or on field trips. Sunscreen is considered a toxic substance. Wonder if it’s okay if kids bring something harmless instead, like guns.

(My friend Jeff Klein adds “Tan your Ground.”)

 

-

Richard Sherman beat out Cam Newton in online voting at ESPN.com and so will be on the cover of the new “Madden NFL 15″ video game. Which could be good news, for Panthers and 49ers fans.

-

A Seattle Pacific University student monitor who pepper-sprayed the gunman and tackled him is being hailed as a hero. Out of habit the NRA responded, “if only he had been armed.”

-

Regarding this Super Bowl Arabic-Roman numbering issue, Marty says he’s looking forward to  “World Series CVIII.”

The Heat is really on

June 5, 2014

The air conditioning broke down at A T & T Center during game 1 of the NBA Finals between the San Antonio and Miami, resulting in temperatures inside the arena topping 90 degrees. And over in New Orleans they’re thinking. “Hah, all we had was a little Super Bowl temporary power blackout.”

-

So isn’t it supposed to be the old folks who can’t handle the heat? #MIAvsSA #Spurs #Heat.

-

Who knew the Heat couldn’t handle the Heat?

-

So the Seattle Pacific University gunman was apparently subdued by pepper-spraying students as he stopped to reload. So the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a non-automatic gun and good guys with pepper spray?

-

South Carolina police are investigating how a loaded gun wound up among children’s toys at a Myrtle Beach Target store. Guns in the toy department are only supposed to be found at Walmart.

-

A Crowne Plaza in Mexico City is advertising a room as “2 DBL BEDS WITH JACUZZI TUB. VACATION WITH YOUR SWEETIE IN THIS COZY JUNIOR SUITE.” Uh, two double beds? Reminds me of the Cialis ad with two tubs.

-

The #HoustonAstros once again had today’s first draft pick. They’re now the #ClevelandCavaliers of MLB.

-

Go figure. Hockey-mad Canada has the best team in the AL East, and baseball-mad New York has the best NHL team in the East. Wonder how many Torontonians can name three Blue Jays and how many New Yorkers can name three Rangers.

-

A court has suspended Jim Irsay’s driver’s license for one year following his DUI arrest. Guess Roger Goodell will bring the hammer down and punish the Indianapolis Colts’ owner as severely as a player who does something really egregious, like wearing unauthorized socks.

-

Understated corporate comment of the month. “You have successfully reset your password. eBay is not requesting that you take any further action at this time. If you would like to call us, please know our colleagues are especially busy right now assisting other customers and we apologize in advance for making you wait.”

-

While I know as a Giants fans that the Dodgers could go on a tear any minute, Don Mattingly just said that L.A. “hasn’t felt like a true team at this point.” Gosh, wonder what the rea$on$ for that could be?

-

Hillary Clinton in March criticized Vladimir Putin “a tough guy with a thin skin.” Putin’s reply in an interview aired yesterday: “It’s better not to argue with a woman. But Ms. Clinton has never been too graceful in her statements.” Well, at least he proved the second part of her statement.

-

Sarah Palin is bashing Obama for releasing prisoners to free a soldier with “Anti-American views.” So I guess in future our armed forces members should fill out a political questionnaire before going to war so we can decide if they are worth saving?

-

Bowe Bergdahl may be a young man with some serious issues, but what would Sarah Palin and other GOP politicians be saying if he were one of THEIR sons?

-

-

A new Houston spa, called “Float Baby,” offers babies (with moms nearby) a 1 hour water floatation and infant massage for $65. This is why other countries hate us.

-

From T.C.  “Following Super Bowl XLIX, the following year will be marketed as Super Bowl 50, using standard numerals. Why did it take them XVIII weeks to come up with this change?   Btw, The NFL has announced that Super Bowl 50 will be played in the year MMXVI.”

What’s in a name?

May 22, 2014

50 U.S.Senators sent a letter to the NFL saying it was time for the league “to endorse a name change for the Washington, D.C. football team.” Of course the team could change from the derogatory “Redskins” to the even more derogatory “Senators.”

 

 

After her breakup with Rory McIlroy, Caroline Wozniacki said on Twitter today “It’s a hard time for me right now.” And around the world, millions of men are thinking “I could help.”.

-

Fox News anchor Gregg Jarrett was arrested for being drunk and belligerent with police at Minneapolis-St. Paul airport bar yesterday afternoon. Will Jarrett claim it was because he had a wide drinking stance?

-

Today’s #SFGiants Rockies game was suspended in the 6th due to weather. Will be made up when the Giants return to Denver in September. Since that’s after trade deadline and call-ups, will be interesting to see how many of the same players are still on the same teams…

 

-

At June’s San Diego County Fair, attendees will be able to buy a Krispy Kreme triple cheeseburger. Presumably it comes with a side of Beta Blockers?

-

 

A video has surfaced of an Easter sermon from “Duck Dynasty”‘s Phil Robertson “Neither the sexually immoral, nor the idolators, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexual offenders, nor thieves, nor greedy, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” Can’t wait for Robertson’s next appearance with some of Louisiana’s members of Congress. Especially Senator David Vitter.

-

Boston Red Sox pitcher Felix Doubront says he bruised his left shoulder by bumping into a car door. Was he on his way to wash his truck at the time?

-

(My friend JL suggests  “Baseball players should have a writer they can go to to make up believable excuses when they hurt themselves doing something that would get them fined by the team.”.   I see a new business opportunity.)

 

-

Mother of 19, Michelle Duggar, 47, says she has gone to a fertility doctor,if there are things physically I need to know, that I need to do, health-wise just to be ready to catch a baby if God saw fit to give us one..” And God is thinking “When I said ‘go forth and multiply’ I didn’t mean exponentially.”

-

Miley Cyrus denied Jennifer Lawrence’s story that Cyrus told a very drunk Lawrence to “get it together” at a post-Oscars party. Makes sense, who would ever believe Miley Cyrus would tell ANYONE to get it together?

-

In Virginia, a 2nd-grade teacher was arrested for allegedly being drunk while trying to teach his class. In his defense will he say he was pretending to be a pilot?

-

-

Prince Fielder is now expected to have season-ending fusion surgery to repair a herniated disk in his neck. The Texas Rangers aren’t a baseball team, they’re an episode of “Survivor.”

-

From Bill Litttlejohn:  “Witnesses say that Mitch ‘Wild Thing’ Williams ordered a beaning in a Little League game.The kid tried, but still threw the ball over the batter’s head and into the backstop””

-

So with NBA playoffs that seems to go on forever, the next game is…Saturday night? Is the league trying to become as irrelevant as American Idol?

-

There were no NBA playoff games tonight in either the Eastern or Western Conference. And the league is thinking, how many more off days do we need before we can stretch the postseason into, say, August?

 

 

What’s more surprising? That the Dodgers’ Zack Greinke’s stretch of 21 straight starts of allowing two or fewer runs ended, (a record that hasn’t been matched in 100 years)? Or that it ended against the NY Mets?

-

From Marc Ragovin;  “I’m not saying the Mets are drawing small crowds this year, but the other day a few fans at Citi Field started doing “The Ripple.”

-

So despite all the uproar about Mark Cuban’s comments about bigotry, this is what he actually said, “”I mean, we’re all prejudiced in one way or another. If I see a black kid in a hoodie and it’s late at night, I’m walking to the other side of the street. And if on that side of the street, there’s a guy that has tattoos all over his face — white guy, bald head, tattoos everywhere — I’m walking back to the other side of the street.” Strikes me as the most honest thing we’ve heard out of any NBA owner.

Crime$ and mi$demeanor$?

May 14, 2014

90 people were arrested today, 50 in Florida, for Medicare fraud schemes estimated to total $260 million. But to be fair, the Florida folks say they were just training to run for Governor.

-

The NBA on last night’s OKC-LA officiating hiccup: “There has to be ‘clear and conclusive’ evidence. Since no replay provided such evidence, the play correctly stood as called with the Thunder retaining possession.” Translation, “you really think we’re going to admit to changing the outcome of a playoff game?”

 

The NCAA penalized Oklahoma State because the football program’s Academic Progress Rate score has dropped below the minimum standard. So the Cowboys will lose the equivalent of one day’s practice a week. But OSU avoided worse sanctions, like making the players actually go to class.

 

 

Joran van der Sloot, the main suspect in Natalee Hollowa’s disappearance, is serving a 28-year sentence in Peru for killing a local woman. And now he’s getting MARRIED. To a woman he met while in prison, who is pregnant with his child. Can we title this “Not so smart woman, exceptionally foolish choices.”?

-

Really? NY Daily News headline today “Nicole Kidman sparks plastic surgery rumors at Cannes?” So what’s their next headline? “This internet thing could be really big!”?

-

MLB changed the call on David Ortiz’s 7th inning hit that fell between two fielders in right field during Yu Darvish’s near no-hitter from an error to a single. Just wondering, if it wasn’t a star like Big Papi, would MLB even have considered it?

-

A girl escaped with scrapes and two little boys are in stable condition after wind gusts swept their inflatable bounce house into the air with them inside. Fortunately they fell out relatively quickly although the inflatable house eventually rose 50 feet and drifted several hundred yards before landing. Some will see this story and think “lawsuit”, others will think “how do I make a bounce house do that?”

 

Dallas sports anchor Dale Hansen is back. Not doing much for the Stone Age reputation of older white Southern men: “When Sam was seen celebrating with his family — and boyfriend — the world apparently shook, we almost collided with the sun, and yet SOMEHOW, we have survived another day.”-

 

 

The Missouri legislature just passed legislation requiring women to wait 72 hours to have an abortion. If they really wanted to stop abortion maybe all these mostly male legislators could pass a law making men wait 72 hours to have sex.

-

 

Donald Sterling now says if he can keep the Clippers he won’t have to worry about an NBA players boycott. He really thinks the team will keep playing? Heck, looks like they quit already with a minute left in game five.

-

Ben Sasse, who just won the GOP Primary to run for U.S. Senator from Nebraska, says on his website “Government cannot force citizens to violate their religious beliefs under any circumstances. He will fight for the right of all Americans to act in accordance with their conscience.” Let me guess, in all his time at Harvard and Yale, one class Sasse never took was “Comparative Religions?”

-

Leland Yee is still on the ballot as running for California Secretary of State. And no doubt more than a few Californians will say “Hey, I know that name from somewhere,” and vote for him.

-

The Pac-12 is set to announce that it will move their league championship football game to the 49ers’ new Santa Clara facility. Well, this will guarantee fans at Levi’s stadium the ability to see top college-level talent this year, other than the Redskins in November.

To tweet or not to tweet?

May 11, 2014

The Dolphins said they will “sit down” with player Don Jones after he tweeted a negative reaction when the Rams drafted Michael Sam. Okay, I get that people have feelings and prejudices. But how in this day and age is an NFL player stupid enough to put it out on social media?

 

 

How much trouble could be avoided with pro athletes if Twitter had an app saying “Would your mother approve of this tweet? #HappyMothersDay

-

Apparently some people did have a problem with ESPN showing Michael Sam kissing his boyfriend. Maybe they were disappointed the network didn’t show A.J. McCarron kissing Katherine Webb?

-

NFL players have the right to believe whatever they want about sex and sexual orientation. But can’t remember any of them making a negative public statement about a teammate who was accused of rape or domestic violence

-

From Alex Kaseberg “Happy Mother’s Day. Today hundreds of NBA players look at their ringing phones and mutter; “I’m not gonna take this one.” #MothersDay

-

Walgreen’s today had a large display of Mother’s Day bouquets for $9.99 by the cash register. Which presumably went perfectly with that card you forgot and also stopped into Walgreen’s to buy.

-

Anyone who says baseball players aren’t manly men, I give you Aroldis Chapman, back on the mound less than 2 months after being struck in the face by one of his 100 mph fastballs lined back at him. And he got the save for the Reds.

 

-

Wonder how many people turned off the Clippers game when the Thunder had a huge lead and the Dodgers-Giants game when Kershaw had a one-run lead?

 

#SFGIants. Until further notice, #Pablosandoval is only allowed to hit with a pink bat.

(Until today, this from Andrew Baggerly on Sandoval “He has come to bat with 86 runners on base and driven in four of them.”   The Panda drove in 2 with his pink bat.)

 

-

Although original rumors said Shane Skov was going to the Oakland Raiders, Skov himself tweeted that he signed as an undrafted free agent with the 49ers instead. Makes sense, he IS from Stanford, the guy is supposed to be smart.

 

“Nashville” has been renewed by ABC.  Yes!  Yes! Yes!  #Guiltypleasures

Sam I Ram.

May 10, 2014

Sign of progress, it seemed absolutely irrelevant today that Michael Sam’s boyfriend is white. #Thetimestheyareachanging #MichaelSa

-

A thought about Michael Sam being drafted. Yeah, maybe some in the media are making too much of it. But changes don’t get to be small deals without the first ones being big deals.

-

CNN commentator Margaret Hoover, on the Rams’ drafting Michael Sam, that she hopes the message will be for high school kids that “they don’t have to be afraid of choosing to be gay or choosing their dream in sportsmanship and professional sports.”   Just like Jackie Robinson helped kids not be afraid of choosing to be black.

-

A.J. McCarron, who is now engaged to Katherine Webb, has been chosen in the NFL draft by Cincinnati. And Brent Musberger has already inquired about broadcasting Bengals games.

-

Today is Mother’s Day. Or as they say in the NBA “So many women, so little time.”

 

-It may be “No Country for Old Men” but it sure is a Western Conference Semifinals for old men. #Spurs

-

#SFGiants Pablo Sandoval has as much a chance of getting a hit w/ 2 strikes now as Donald Sterling does of getting another NAACP award.

-

For the second time in 3 days, planes have hit birds at LaGuardia Airport. No injuries were reported. “Speak for yourselves,” say relatives of the birds.

-

Elin Nordegren, speaking at her Rollins College graduation, mentioned that her divorce “was right after I had taken communication and the media… I probably should have taken more notes in that class.” Tiger is just glad Elin wasn’t taking lessons in how to swing a golf club.

-

A South Carolina high school teacher has been accused of having sex with three different students in one day. Clearly these budget cutbacks have our educators stretched too thin.

 

-

Headline “IndyCar Grand Prix of Indianapolis Marred by Huge Crash.” And a lot of casual racing fans are thinking “Marred?”

-

The NBA apparently believes it can also remove Donald Sterling’s estranged wife Shelly from ownership of the Los Angeles Clippers. If private phone conversations are a problem, how much more slippery a slope is being married to an a**hole?

 

Not quite a Virgin flight…

May 7, 2014

A woman was detained and then released by Las Vegas police after she apparently got drunk on board a Virgin Atlantic flight from London and noisily joined the Mile High Club,with a man she had just met on board. The best part – she was traveling with her PARENTS. And you think some of your family vacations have been awkward.

 

 

The NFL Draft is coming Thursday. For the uninitiated, that means for a few days ESPN will be only slightly less fixated on the draft than CNN has been on MH370.

-

After a social media storm,  Eric LeGrand is again speaking at Rutgers’ commencement. “I’ll take ‘Damage Control’ for $1000, Alex.”

-

 

Apparently Toronto mayor Rob Ford may have disappeared on his way to rehab in Chicago. You actually kind of hope he’s hiking the Appalachian Trail

-

Golden State Warriors have fired coach Mark Jackson, saying they think “it’s time to move in a different direction.” Like back out of the playoffs?

-

SFGiants are getting about as much production out of Pablo Sandoval as they would if he were on the DL.

-

Many frustrated #SFGiants fans want Bruce Bochy to bat Pablo Sandoval 8th. Although there are others who disagree and think the Panda should bat 9th.

-

Anyone who needs a reason to root for the San Antonio Spurs, I give you coach Gregg Popovich. He’s been having WNBA star Becky Hammon, who wants to coach someday, attend practices. And Popovich says about a female NBA coach someday – “I don’t see why not. There shouldn’t be any limitations. It’s about talent and the ability to do things. It’s not about what your sex is or your race is or anything else

-

The Spurs were on a roll. Tonight looked like one of the most uneven matchups in San Antonio since the Alamo.

-

Would ANYONE who hadn’t watched the regular season and just turned in for the #NBAplayoffs have guessed the #IndianaPacers were a #1 seed?

-

Monica Lewinsky, in a Vanity Fair article: “I, myself, deeply regret what happened between me and President Clinton. Let me say it again: I. Myself. Deeply. Regret. What. Happened.” More like she regrets a – getting caught, and b- not having that fifteen minutes of fame turn into something lucrative?

 

-

Just an open note to those in the GOP who want to use Monica Lewinsky’s book against Hillary. The American public knows Bill Clinton is a tomcat. We knew that when we elected him the first time. And we would have elected him a third time if possible. Yeah it makes for good punchlines but in the big picture nobody cares.So get over it. #puritans

 

From Marc Ragovin;  ” Willie Mays turned 83 on Tuesday. Of course he has now gone from “say hey” to “what did you say?””

 

Jawed?

April 30, 2014

“He can’t go down with three barrels on them, not with three he can’t?”

No, but Sharks can go down with three games on them….

-

Who knew Shark Tank was redundant?

-

Announcers saying the San Jose Sharks’ season ended bitterly.” “Bitterly?” “Bitterly” is a one game nightmare. This was a four-game choke job for the ages.

-

FSU QB and reigning Heisman winner Jameis Winston was reportedly cited for shoplifting crab legs in Tallahassee and may be suspended from the baseball team. Maybe the NCAA should have been a little more clear on that ruling allowing unlimited meals for athletes?

-

Jameis Winston on “crab-gate”. In a moment of youthful ignorance, I walked out of the store without paying for one of my items. “Youthful ignorance? As in he didn’t ask one of his posse to get the crab legs for him?

Or as in he should have stuck to something small like filet mignon.

V. Stiviano said through her attorney that she is “very saddened” at Sterling’s NBA ban and that she “never wanted any harm to Donald.” Translation, someone is really going to miss those courtside seats.

-

Donald Trump is buying Turnberry golf course. What, is the Donald looking for a British gopher to replace that furry thing that lives on his head?

-

We are one Atlanta win away from a second round NBA playoff series between the Hawks and the Washington Wizards. Which had to seem about as likely as the NAACP giving Donald Sterling a lifetime achievement award.

-

Frontier Airlines is going to start charging for carry-on bags that don’t fit under the seat. So all those boarding slowdowns caused by people trying to cram bags in the overhead bins? They’ll be switching to slowdowns caused by people trying to cram bags under the seat.

 

Never understood why people don’t like the San Antonio Spurs. They play good, team-oriented no-drama basketball. Does the team remind some too much of the WNBA?

-

Former ‘Mad’ magazine editor Al Feldstein, 88, has died. Have to assume his last words were “What, me worry?

-

GOP senators just blocked raising the U.S. minimum wage to $10.10 an hour. Just for comparison, based on a 40 work week, U.S. Senators make $87.00 an hour. (plus expenses.) #letthemeatcake

-

Mike D’Antoni “resigned” from the Los Angeles Lakers. Which makes him luckier than the team’s season ticket holders.

 

 

From my friend Bill Whalen “How do you repel a shark attack? Put it on a power play.”

-

My friend Bob Thompson pointed out the the Dodgers played tonight at Target Field against the Twins, and it’s 42 degrees, feels like 36. Almost as cold as a night game at Candlestick.

 

-

In a recent poll about the Florida Governor’s race, Charlie Crist has a 10 point lead over Rick Scott, and Crist’s lead is almost 20 points with women voters. This could mean a serious potential drought in Florida punchlines.

-

John Boehner is now apologizing for his comments about some of his fellow Republicans regarding immigration reform – “here’s the attitude: ‘Ohhhh, don’t make me do this. Ohhhh, this is too hard.’” Apparently having a spine is not allowed in today’s GOP?

-

Floyd Mayweather Jr. now says he wants to buy the Los Angeles Clippers. So get rid of a racist and replace him with a confessed wife-beater? #Notexactly

-

For all those who want the media to pay attention to anything but MH370 and Donald Sterling, help is on the way. A new video has surfaced allegedly filmed last weekend allegedly showing Toronto Mayor Rob Ford smoking crack again.

 

. . .

For whom the Silver bell tolled?

April 30, 2014

The Los Angeles Clippers are undefeated in the post Donald Sterling era.

-

Mark Cuban about forcing Donald Sterling to leave the NBA over his private conversations, says “It’s a very, very slippery slope” Translation, wonder what conversations, including with other owners, Cuban himself has been a part of…?

 

Apparently the NBA needs the support of 75% of owners to make Sterling sell the Clippers. And let’s see, over-under on owners who want to risk boycotts or loss of sponsors by voting in his defense? I am guessing zero. (Even including Mark Cuban.)

-

Donald Trump yesterday said that V. Stiviano was the problem, not Donald Sterling .  “It’s terrible, he got set up by a very bad girlfriend. She was baiting him and she’s a terrible human being.” Sounds like a good thing the Donald’s potential partial ownership of the Buffalo Bills hasn’t gone through yet..

-

Since #DonaldSterling is banned from #NBA, maybe sponsors will return to #LAClippers.But Clips may lose the new deal with #DuckDynasty.

-

#WashingtonRedskins fans are wondering if there’s any way they could get #VStiviano (and her tape recorder)  to start hooking up with #DanielSnyder.

-

Just wondering, what would the NBA have done if #DonaldSterling had made the exact same comments, but for “blacks” substitute “gays?”

-

 

Serious note.  Regarding the whole “private free speech” question with Donald Sterling. Yeah, we can all say whatever we want when we think we have privacy. But on the other hand, we can also all decide not to support people who we don’t like.

And while many around the NBA knew Sterling was a racist douchebag, the casual fan didn’t. Now they do. And sponsors fled in droves. Have no problem with the league’s decision, but thinking in the end it was less about the moral high ground than money in the pockets of other owners, AND the players.

-

A recent poll said only 38% of Coloradans think legalizing marijuana has been bad for the state. And many of the rest no doubt responded “Dude, what was that question again?”

-

An “tunnel to nowhere” is being built on the West Side of Manhattan, (before a massive development is built on top of it). The plans are to eventually link it to new commuter tunnels under the Hudson to New Jersey. Although to be fair, even if the trench does end up leading to NJ, won’t most Manhattanites still consider it a tunnel to nowhere?

-

A company called GeoResonance says they have found a plane in the Indian Ocean they think could be MH370. Official searchers say they are wrong. Which could be true but when have the official searchers ever been right?

-

Just a little too wedded to the script? Cheerful Safeway cashier asking “If I needed help out?” My purchase? Half a dozen cans of cat food…..

-

 

Matt Cain scratched due to cutting himself while making a sandwich. Isn’t your posse supposed to make your sandwich? #sfgiants.

(Cain should NEVER have taken sandwich making lessons from Jeremy Affeldt.)

-

A thought for the SF Giants, who often give Cain no run support.  Maybe Bruce Bochy should always start someone like Petit for the first inning, let the team score, THEN put in Matt in the second… (SF did score two in the first tonight.)

 

 

All that glitters is not Sterling.

April 28, 2014

 

Leaving the racism aside, Donald Sterling also appears to be an incredible misogynist. Wouldn’t you think a beautiful woman who wants to be a temporary rich man’s mistress can find someone who’s a bit less of an a**hole?

-

It will may only last as long as this playoff series but the Golden State Warriors have to thank #DonaldSterling for temporarily making them America’s Team.

-

As much as other professional sports team owners are decrying the comments of the NBA’s Donald Sterling, have to wonder how many of them are hoping no one has tapes of THEIR phone conversations?

-

As #DonaldSterling story completely dominates the media, have to wonder who leaked the tapes? #ClivenBundy?

-

So the NAACP was going to give Donald Sterling a lifetime achievement award? What’s next? The NCAA planning to honor John Calipari for his commitment to student athletes?

-

Hardest thing for the GOP in dealing with Donald Sterling’s comments other than dealing with the fraction of their constituents who agree with him, is trying to figure out how to spin that President Obama’s response is wrong.

-

Sarah Palin, speaking at an NRA convention, said that gun-free zones are “stupid on steroids.” Thereby challenging all those who thought if there was anyone who should be an expert on “stupid on steroids…”

 

 

During Sarah Palin’s NRA speech she complained that the “Obama administration wants you ID’d” for having a gun. Okay, I guess being ID’ed should be reserved for truly dangerous things, like voting.

-

Got to love United Airlines, sending a message at 632p saying that a 629p flight has been delayed at least an hour but “please be at gate for boarding PRIOR to the original scheduled departure time as the departure time could be revised again.” Uh, not exactly.

(And then sending the SAME, be at the gate before the originally scheduled 629p flight boarding time, at 730p…)

 

-

NBC is adding Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski to next week’s Kentucky Derby telecast as fashion correspondents. Thereby making the most asked question after “Who will win?” “What will Johnny wear?”

-

The San Jose Sharks, originally up 3-0 in their series with the L.A. Kings, are now up 3-2 and reeling. Isn’t it kind of early for the team to be in late-round playoff form.

-

A Phoenix man was arrested for using Craigslist to find sex with a horse. Really? Craigslist? Isn’t there an app for that?

-

New NFL director of football operations Troy Vincent says he can see the NFL adding a developmental league. Don’t they already have that? It’s called the SEC.

Those were the days…..

April 26, 2014

This morning the NBA has to be longing for the days when their most embarrassing owner was Mark Cuban.

 

How quickly things change. Yesterday the most embarrassing thing about NBA basketball in Los Angeles was the Lakers.

-

If Donald Sterling gets suspended as an NBA owner will Clive Bundy offer him a job as a ranch hand?

-

Was actually in New York tonight and lucky enough to have seen Denzel Washington live.  Suppose I can thank Sterling for reminding us that “Raisin in the Sun” isn’t a dated play.

 

Image

George Clooney, 52, is engaged to his latest girlfriend, a 36 year old lawyer. Not sure if the marriage will work, but her pre-nup sure should.

-

One difference between men and women.  When most women heard that Clooney was engaged, their reaction was “okay, we can stop dreaming now.”  If someone like – fill in the blank – Olivia Wilde, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Aniston, Beyonce, – gets engaged, the reaction is “well, she just hadn’t met me yet.”

-

Taco Bell is planning to open a new chain called U.S. Taco Co, with a more upscale menu – for example, the “Brotherly Love”, a tortilla stuffed with Philly cheese steak, or the “Winner Winner”, with crispy Southern fried chicken and gravy. Sounds like the price of gas is going up.

-

Re pine tar. If “everyone does it” and it’s “really for the safety of the batter,” then maybe MLB should legalize the stuff. Or make the rule like it is about pitchers’ jewelry. Only legal if it’s not visible enough to distract the batter.

-

The SF GIants and Cleveland Indians met today in a 1954 World Series rematch.   Until 2010, the Giants hadn’t won since 1954, and the Indians haven’t won since 1948.   Both amateurs on a 1 to Cubs pain scale.

-

 

 

Bizarre early season stat. Michael Morse has six home runs in April. All the SF Giants’ left fielders together last year total hit five.

-

 

Explained to a 20 something today why New York has a 212 area code. (It was the fastest to dial on a rotary dial phone.). Wonder how long it will be before 20 somethings won’t have even heard of a rotary dial phone?

 

Hundreds of “E.T’ Atari video games, which had been considered perhaps the worst video game ever made, were found in New Mexico landfill. So before “Breaking Bad” there was ‘Burying Bad?”

 

Thanks to Gregg Drinnan for this gem  “During a news conference to introduce Donnie Tyndall as the head coach of the U of Tennessee’s men’s basketball team, it was pointed out to him that he wasn’t the first choice. Tyndall pointed to his fiancee, who was in attendance, and offered: “Look at her and look at me. I probably wasn’t her first choice either.”

 

 

Not exactly?

April 25, 2014

Cliven Bundy says “I’m not a racist.” I think I like “I did not have sex with that woman” better.

 

-

Roger Goodell said the NFL is considering extending the draft to four days, although it would remain at seven rounds. Well, heck, if the point is television coverage why not start the draft in March and do 3 or 4 picks a day for months?

 

Dan Marino and Joe Montana will play in a flag-football game to say goodbye to Candlestick Park this July. When asked is they knew who will sponsor the game, the 49ers reportedly replied “Depends?”

-

Michigan’s Mitch McGary tested positive for marijuana during the NCAA tournament and rather than accept a year’s suspension will declare for the draft. Well, McMary’s already on his way to proving he’s NBA ready.

-

North Korea says they have an American man in custody who they say arrived this month to “seek asylum” and “came to the DPRK (North Korea) after choosing it as a shelter.” If true, even Dennis Rodman is thinking this guy is batsh*t crazy.

-

OK, really, how much more of an advantage can #pinetar be for a pitcher compared to say, playing the Houston #Astros?.

-

Open note to Dodgers fans, we Giants fans learned some great “Torture” cocktail recipes. And we’ll share. (Brian Wilson gave up 4 runs in the 9th in a 7-3 Phillies win Thursday night.)

-

Federal prosecutors will soon charge NY Congressman Michael Grimm over alleged corruption and illegal campaign donations. What, a NY political scandal that doesn’t involve sex?

-

The NBA Indianapolis Pacers look to be finishing about as well as Danica Patrick.

-

Another “policy alignment” at the new American Airlines, as the airline follows US Airways in not even letting full fare travelers hold reservations without ticketing for more than a few days. Not a big deal for most people but ever notice how when airlines merge it’s always the least consumer friendly policy that survives?

-

The Buffalo Bills have suspended cheerleading operations after members filed a lawsuit alleging they were underpaid. And presumably the squad feels they should have had extra hardship pay cheering for the Bills.

-

While celebrating her wedding at a bar with her new husband and niece, the bride got into an argument over who was going to drive home, and allegedly fatally shot the niece. Near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Your move, Florida.

-

Nearly a month into the season, MLB has gone back to its original definition of a catch, and no longer requiring a fielder to transfer a ball to record an out. This happened after Brett Gardner was called safe last night when Dustin Pedroia dropped the ball while trying to turn a double play. Well, guess the league finally pays attention if something affects a Red Sox-Yankees game…

-

Since these first round NBA playoffs are turning out to be competitive and compelling wonder how long it will take the league to move to a 32 team five round playoff?

Men not at work.

April 24, 2014

MLB has suspended Yankees pitcher Michael Pineda 10 games “for possessing a foreign substance on his person. That’s the official reason. The unofficial reason of course is for being stupid enough to put pine tar on his neck.

-

Michael Pineda, after his ejection – “I will learn from this mistake and it will not happen again.’’ Translation. “Next time I’ll hide the pine tar in a more discrete place.”

 

A girl gave Michelle Obama her father’s resume, saying he hadn’t had any work in three years. “Honey, you didn’t have to do that” said Joe Biden.

-

The NFL has just come out with its 2014 schedule. This should give players ample time to schedule meetings with their probation officers.

-

Herschel Walker, 52, told USA TODAY “I can play in the NFL today. I couldn’t take every snap. But running backs nowadays don’t play every down… Physically, I can still do it.” Let’s hope nobody shows this to Brett Favre.

 

Wonder how many Americans who profess complete disinterest in William, Kate and George’s Australia tour because they don’t believe in hereditary monarchy are really hoping Jeb runs against Hillary in 2016.

-

So many high seeds are having trouble in the first round of the NBA playoffs that you have to wonder if fatigue is a factor. Which could mean next year teams put even LESS effort into the regular season.

-

Oscar Robertson said if he were advising Carmelo Anthony, he’d tell him to leave the New York Knicks. Presumably so Melo can find a new team to help underachieve?

-

The LA district attorney’s office says that Aldon Smith’s will probably only be charged with with a misdemeanor instead of a felony for saying telling TSA he had a bomb at LAX airport. Another athlete who should be glad stupidity is not a felony.

-

Richard Sherman, currently negotiating his contract “It’s all about respect in this game, and the only way people show respect is the dollars.” Ah, that’s what’s going on with college football in SEC and USC, respect.

-

A Bachelorette contestant died after a paragliding accident. The show’s producers had two reactions. 1. How sad. 2. Thank heaven it didn’t happen on one of our adventure dates.

 

-

 

GOP Presidential contenders are now rushing to distance themselves from rancher Cliven Bundy, who said, amongst other things about African-Americans, “And I’ve often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn’t get no more freedom. They got less freedom.” If Bundy had just stuck to insulting the government and maybe women and gays, he’d still be some conservatives’ hero.

-

From TC “Air Canada will be terminating two of their baggage handlers this weekend after video showed them firing luggage as far as 20 feet at Toronto Pearson airport. The Blue Jays immediately signed them for pitching tryouts.”

Basebrawl.

April 22, 2014

The Brewers’ Carlos Gomez, talking about a brawl he helped start Sunday against the Pirates, said “Things happen in the game. We know it’s not good for baseball…” Well, on the other hand, how often do national networks show highlights of a Milwaukee-Pittsburgh game?

 

No brawl broke out in Colorado Monday night.    Although stealing second base with a 7 to 1 lead in Coors Field… reasonable. Stealing second base against the current SF Giants with a 7 to 1 lead, grounds for beaning.

-

And maybe the SF Giants hitters just need to relax. Since they’re in Colorado can Bruce Bochy put Tim Lincecum on snack duty?

-

A 16 year-old boy is lucky to be alive after stowing away in the wheel well of a flight from San Jose, CA to Maui this weekend. The FBI and TSA are trying to figure out how to tighten security. Airlines are trying to figure out if there is any way to charge for flying in the wheel well.

-

ESPN analyst Keyshawn Johnson was arrested for alleged domestic violence over the weekend. Just another guy trying to prove he’s still in NFL form?

-

John McCain was on Monday night’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.” Presumably trying to appeal to his supporters who are up at that hour. Both of them.

-

The Knicks today fired Mike Woodson. Wonder who will be the next head coach the team can blame for not contending for an NBA title.

-

Neil Young has released a new album “A Letter Home” on vinyl only. Some Millennials are responding “Who’s Neil Young?” Even more are responding “What is ‘vinyl’?”

-

Lindsay Lohan says now she recently had a miscarriage. “What a great mother she would have made” said absolutely nobody.

-

Sunday, 4/20, was the unofficial National Pot Holiday. Which means a number of folks will be showing up in California parks all week saying “Where is everyone?”

-

 

Truly amazing story of that young man who stowed away in a Hawaiian Airlines wheel well and made it to Maui. Even more amazing, he knocked the search for MH370 off CNN’s front page.

-

It takes 16 wins in the playoffs to win the NBA championship. To put that in perspective, 16 wins was last season’s total counting playoffs for the Super Bowl champion Seattle Seahawks.

 

According to Fox News Charles Krauthammer said “it is evident the real objective of ObamaCare is to sever the relationship that Americans have now with their private insurance so everyone eventually ends up in in a market essentially controlled by the government.”  As an ex-resident of Canada,  we can only hope…..

 

From Alex Kaseberg  “In Austria, a man walked into a police station and was arrested after he asked to see if he was wanted for arrest. He was. Police have no choice but to incarcerate him and then extradite him to Florida.”

Missed it by that much.

April 21, 2014

Kraft Foods is recalling 96,000 pounds of its Oscar Mayer wieners because they may mistakenly contain cheese. Wonder how many Kraft might have recalled if the wieners mistakenly contained meat.

-

 

Why there is no satire. Connecticut  Senator Richard Blumenthal, campaigning campaign for better safety with Metro-North trains, held a press conference, set up his easel too close to the tracks, and almost got hit by the train. 

-

A South African Sunday Times columnist wrote today that a “reliable source” told him that Oscar Pistorius was taking acting lessons before his trial so he could appear more sympathetic. Just when you thought Pistorius couldn’t appear any more of a scumbag….

-

R.I.P. Ruben “Hurricane” Carter, 76. And if you don’t know who he is except that Dylan wrote a song about him, you might be young. And if you don’t know who Dylan is, you might be REALLY young.

-

Miami needed an 18-4 run in the 4th quarter to beat Charlotte in game 1 of their NBA playoff series. Heat coach Erik Spoelstra ” We were flat to start. I think our guys were just anxious.” “Anxious” against the 43-39 Bobcats? Or worried about their ticket allocation for the Eastern conference finals?

 

-
The NBA says now that referees made a game-changing mistake in missing a foul against Chris Paul with 20 seconds left in the Warriors-Clippers game 1. But it’s not as if the league feels it was anything really critical – the refs didn’t cost the Heat a game.

-

-
Meanwhile, the Washington Wizards have actually won a playoff game. I blame Obama.

 

It will be a very long time before Easter is again on 4-20.    So  Frito-Lay really missed their chance to have a line of egg-shaped Doritos.

 

Miss American has asked a high school to reconsider their suspension of a student for asking her to his prom during an assembly. Really?! Better that than he was dating a teacher.

 

-

In Friday night’s game against the Rays, the Yankees’ Cesar Cabral faced six batters, allowing three hits, three hit batsmen, and three runs. All without recording an out. He was released afterwards. Cabral has to hope he gets picked up by an NL team, he could probably throw a few shutdown innings against the SF Giants.
-
-
Apparently the Dodgers’  Clayton Kershaw felt no back pain in a simulated game. And SF Giants fans are thinking “Good for him, now let’s hope he takes the recovery nice and slow and easy. Until August or September at least..
-
From Bill Littlejohn  “What University of Idaho football recruiters tell prospects—that WR Dezmon Epps was the only WR in the nation to total over 100 yards receiving against eventual national champion Florida State
What University of Idaho football recruiters neglect to tell prospects–they lost that game to Florida State, 80-14
-

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 214 other followers