“I am shocked”. Said absolutely no one. #AaronHernandez.
Aaron Hernandez actually looked surprised when he was found guilty of murder. Was he counting on talking to OJ for advice on finding the real killers
Now that Aaron Hernandez has been found guilty, will they try him for those other two murders? Guessing the Patriots regrettably have given up on pinning him with those under-inflated balls.
Cleveland Browns coach Mike Pettine on drafting Johnny Manziel. “We had the information that everyone else in the league had. It’s easy to look back now and say ‘What did you miss?”. And even Captain Obvious is snickering, “Really?!”
Actual warning on a frozen pizza “Not ready to eat. Cook before serving.” #cantfixstupid
But the winner is. A New York man found bedbugs in his rental car. Someone apparently told him he could kill them by saturating them with alcohol. Which he did. And then sat in the car and lit a cigarette. Did kill the bugs. And the car. First and second-degree burns for him. Plus the #cantfixstupid award for the week. So far.
Kim Kardashian has an actual book coming out May 5. It’s a collection of selfies titlled “Selfish.”. Give her credit for truth in advertising.
Okay, who else saw the headline about a man arrested for landing a helicopter on the Capitol lawn and thought. “Secret service joyride?”
United Airlines is offering Mileage Plus members the chance to use their miles to attend a batting practice event with the Los Angeles Dodgers. The way the SF Giants are hitting, they might have a similar event and make it a tryout.
The Cleveland Browns unveiled new uniforms yesterday, with nine different jersey combinations. Team president Alec Scheiner. “We could be like Oregon of the NFL.” Like “Oregon?” Meaning almost but not quite good enough to win the BCS championship?
In Hillsborough County, Florida, near Tampa, the sheriff’s office has shut down a training school for “top earning exotic dancers and models.” after complaints of loud noise and late parties. Shame. Might have actually been classrooms where they could have gotten a lot of the state’s “student-athletes” to attend.
Cheryl Rios, CEO of “Go Ape Marketing” in Dallas, posted that she thought women could run business but didn’t think a woman should ever lead a country., “‘With the hormones we have, there is no way [a woman] should be able to start a war.” And said she would move to Canada if Hillary Clinton became president.
Not that Canada would take her, but at least Rios didn’t threaten to move to England. #cantfixstupid
“Not with a bang but a whimper.” Was T.S. Eliot thinking about the Lakers, who are putting an exclamation point on their lost season with a loss at home to… .Sacramento?