Posted tagged ‘Janice Hough’

The name game?

February 24, 2015

The Atlanta Braves’ B.J. Upton now wants to be known as Melvin Upton, Jr. Talk about a player to be named later.

Yep, cigarettes can kill you. But usually not this quickly. A man driving along the Columbia River in Oregon stopped to smoke and take a selfie while a train passed. He didn’t see another train coming from the other direction. ‪#‎Darwinawardoftheweek‬

It’s really a shame we don’t have Joan Rivers around to dish on how tacky it was to exclude her from the “In Memoriam” Oscars segment.

Okay, so maybe you shouldn’t bring your mom as your Oscar date when you’ve just starred in a soft-core porn flick. But just imagine how awkward the interview might have been if instead of bringing Melanie Griffith, Dakota Johnson had brought her father….

The Oscar ratings fell to a four-year low last night. Not sure what the Academy could do about the trend. Maybe something heretical like nominate more movies people have actually seen?

So we’re looking at a Homeland Security Department shutdown because the GOP is trying to tie a funding bill to a rollback of Obama’s executive actions on immigration. So where’s Giuliani’s rant on ‘loving your country” now?

Kristi Capel,, a Fox news anchor in Ohio referred to Lady Gaga’s performance as “jigaboo” music, and then in her apology said “I had no idea it was a word or what it meant. ” Uh, Kristi, here’s a hint, if you don’t know what a word means, don’t use it.

 

New MLB commissioner Rob Manfred has said a return to a 154 game schedule is “not impossible.” And ESPN responded “As long as it doesn’t cut down on Yankees-Red Sox games.”

 

KC ‪#‎Royals‬ manager Ned Yost: “I think without Madison we would be champions.” ‪#‎ThatswhytheycallittheMVPaward‬

Phil Jackson actually called out his Knicks team on Twitter last night. What’s more surprising. That the Knicks are this bad, or that Jackson knows how to use Twitter?

 

Louisville dismissed men’s basketball starting guard Chris Jones after campus police released a report that says he texted a woman who had “messed up his room” that he would “smack TF out of” her.” So maybe Jones is violent, maybe he isn’t. But if nothing else the man should be dismissed for being stupid enough to put a threat in a text.

Lies and omissions.

February 23, 2015

Many of my generation asked “Who’s Lady Gaga?” Many of her generation asked “What’s ‘The Sound of Music.;”? And both generations tonight were probably pleasantly surprised.

And the ‪#‎Oscar‬ for best use of tape goes, again, to Jennifer Lopez.

So there have apparently been major protests outside the Oscars over the exclusion of “Selma.” But hey, the Academy is 92% white, 77% male, and average age 62. ‪#‎whatdidweexpect‬ ‪#‎itsallabouttheclothesanyway‬

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Julianne Moore wins a well-deserved Best Actress for “Still Alice.” And many of her contemporaries are thinking. Well, except for that better performance, if we could remember who she was….

 

So the Academy decides to make up for leaving ‪#‎Selma‬ out of major awards by taking Oscar for “Best Song” away from the heartbreaking “I’m not going to miss you” by Alzheimer’s patient Glen Campbell. ‪#‎fiftyshadesofguilt‬

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Neil Patrick Harris is better than most hosts. But once again recall the great Johnny Carson, who noted that tonight we celebrate movies. By having millions of people watching the Oscars. And a few thousand for some reason tonight still in movie theaters.

So how did Rudy Giuliani not get nominated for his performance as a politician struggling to pretend he is still relevant?

 

For that matter, how about the Knicks being nominated for best performance pretending to be an NBA team?

 

A video purporting to be from an Al-Qaida linked group in Somalia calls for attacks on shopping malls and singles out Minnesota’s Mall of America. I can hear men now “Of course I’m not against shopping with you or having you go shopping alone. I just want you to be safe.”

Most Americans who watch the ‪#‎Daytona500‬ do so for the same reason we watch reality TV. We like watching wrecks.

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Turned on car radio this afternoon  and KNBR has the Daytona 500. NASCAR racing on radio?! ‪#‎andtheysaybaseballisboring

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The cold wave has even spread to the Lone Star state. The Dallas area is expecting 2 inches of sleet in the next two days. Cue the “Hell freezing over jokes.”

As ‪#‎Giuliani‬ keeps doubling down on anti-Obama comments, how long until even Sarah Palin accuses Rudy of being an irrelevant media whore?

Interesting that many of these Republicans who are accusing of President Obama of not loving America because he isn’t 100% uncritical of the country, are also the same ones who rail against the “everybody gets a trophy”, uncritical parents who believe the children they love can do no wrong.

Ronna Romney McDaniel, 41, Mitt Romney’s niece, was chosen as chair of the Michigan GOP. So is this the first step towards Ronna’s running against Chelsea Clinton for President in 2032?

And the winner should have been….

February 22, 2015

Security at this year’s Academy Awards will be tight. Especially since they need half a dozen or so men just to keep Kanye West from rushing the stage.

As we approach the Oscars, the snubs are often as much a source of discussion as the nominees. For example, how did “Frozen” not get nominated this year for “Best Documentary”?

Prince Harry and Emma Watson are dating. Could be some of the best pillow-talk ever: “You’re a wizard, Harry.”

Chris Bosh will be out for the season at least with blood clots in his lungs. His long-term prognosis is good. But what a bummer for Heat fans who were counting on the team’s .434 winning percentage getting them into the Eastern Conference playoffs.

On the bright side for San Jose Sharks fans, at least this year the team isn’t likely to break their hearts in the playoffs.

 

Tickets for this year’s Comic-Con in San Diego this July sold out in less than an hour. On the bright side for hopeful attendees, most of those who bought 2 tickets probably don’t yet have dates.

American Airlines says that due to a “technical glitch” with a conveyor belt they couldn’t load checked baggage on planes for eight hours on Friday. And not only did planes depart without luggage, passengers weren’t notified and found out only after they waited, in many cases over an hour at empty carousels.   So what, the travelers hadn’t paid their “communication” fees?

Fox News has reported that the West Coast dock labor dispute finally is over after 9 months. Without the mentioning the reason – that the President sent Labor Secretary Perez to Oakland with an order to end it. (An agreement was done in 3 days.) So where’s the fury over Obama’s “Imperial Presidency” on this one?

Kris Jenner is apparently claiming someone has extorted her over a nude video hack. Well, at least Kris doesn’t have to pay. Even if the hacker posts the video, no one will watch it.

A florist in Washington is refusing to settle a discrimination case over providing flowers for the gay wedding of a longtime customer, because she says “her ‘relationship with Jesus Christ’ won’t allow it. So presume she also doesn’t do flowers for couples who have had pre-marital or extra-marital sex before THEIR weddings?

Wis. Gov. Scott Walker said today “I’ve never asked him, I don’t know” when asked whether President Barack Obama loves America. Well to be fair, Walker said he didn’t know about evolution either. ‪#‎doublingdownonstupid‬

Something new, something old.

February 20, 2015

So let me get this straight, the same Americans who are so into novelty that they can’t exist without the absolutely newest iPhones are thinking of choosing a new President between Clinton and Bush?

A government panel says drinking three to FIVE cups of coffee a day will help prevent heart disease, liver cancer, Parkinson and type 2 diabetes. Of course, there may be a heightened risk of injury from bouncing off of walls.

 

Jack Nicklaus on Tiger Woods, “I think he’s struggling more between his ears than he is anyplace else.” Oddly enough, Woods seemed to start going downhill when he started focusing more between his ears than between his legs.

Rudy Giuliani, not backing down, now says ““You know, President Obama didn’t live through September 11, I did.” Shocking. Mostly shocking that Rudy didn’t somehow use 9-11 in his original “Obama doesn’t love America” statement.

 

More from  Giuliani. ““What I don’t find with Obama is a really deep knowledge of history. I think it’s a dilettante’s knowledge of history.” So has anyone asked Rudy what he thinks of, for starters, Oklahoma Republicans trying to ban AP US History classes in schools?

Another reason why good manners are important. Karma can be one mean impressive b*tch sometimes. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/…/Commuter-swears-man-way-interv…

MLB and the players unions have agreed to changes to speed up the game – enforcement of the rule that players keep one foot in the batter’s box, and stadium clocks for pitching changes and inning breaks. So who knows, maybe this year they can get an average Red Sox-Yankees game down to four hours.

Pablo Sandoval dismissed criticism over his weight in a Spanish interview with ESPNDeportes, saying “Let them talk… It will never change me or the player I am.” Actually with this winter in Boston Panda could have just said he was storing up fat for hibernation.

A bipartisan group in Congress is working on legislation to require Amtrak to allow small pets (under 20 pounds) on train trips of less than 750 miles. Let’s hope they’re specific. Cats and dogs make sense. But not sure we want “motherf***ing snakes on motherf***ing trains.”

 

No deaths or injuries thankfully from a major fire at a luxury skyscraper in Dubai. But maybe it’s tempting fate a bit much to name a building “The Torch.”

 

Pete Carroll said he’ll miss competing against Jim Harbaugh now that Harbaugh’s returned to the college game. Well a few more calls like the end of the Super Bowl and Pete might be back with Jim.

Can you see me now?

February 19, 2015

A Canadian PhD student says he has developed a topical cream that can remove tattoos easily and without pain. If this cream actually ends up available to for sale I think we’ve just figured the answer to an often pressing question. “What do I buy for a college graduation present?”

Roger Goodell, 56, ran the 40 yard dash this week, in a very respectable 5.53 seconds. Assume Goodell did it by imagining he was running away from tough questions.

 

The San Diego Chargers and Oakland Raiders are talking about building a joint stadium together in Los Angeles. Makes some sense. And it’s not like the new stadium would need to set aside much space for future Super Bowl trophies.

Police who have accused Warren Sapp of soliciting prostitution and assault say that the former NFL star not only paid for oral sex, he filmed it on his cellphone. Nice of Sapp to do their evidence gathering for them. ‪#‎cantfixstupid

So now FIFA has decided that the 2022 World Cup in Qatar will be played in November-December, right in the middle of the European Cup Season. But hey, the weather should only be in the 80s. And why should FIFA care about European soccer anyway, Qatar should have the World Cup they bought and paid for.

Tiger Woods has decided he will not play in next week’s Honda Classic at PGA National.    Tiger must really need some time away from the game – it would only be two rounds of golf.

Former NBA star Jerome Kersey passed away today way too young at the age of 52. Kersey won a single championship, with the San Antonio Spurs in 1999. How long ago and yet how recent was that? One of his teammates was Steve Kerr.  And the MVP of the finals was Tim Duncan.

Rudy Giuliani, speaking at a dinner for Scott Walker with about 60 wealthy Republican executives and conservative media. “I do not believe that the president loves America. He doesn’t love you. And he doesn’t love me.” Well Giuliani got two out of three right.

The Big Ten says they are looking into the idea of making freshmen athletes ineligible for competition. The idea being to give them “a year of readiness” to adjust to college life. So is the conference also presumably thinking of giving up on D1 college basketball?

The NBA season resumed post-All Star break tonight. Which means we only have about two months until the two-month postseason starts.

 

From T.C.  “Memo to all players at Yankee Spring Training: Since we are running out of traditional numbers, please submit a request for a “letter or double letter” uniform in case the number you want is unavailable. The letters BB (bat boy); DD (our well endowed left field foul line girl) and FU (in case Randy Johnson comes out of retirement) are already taken.”

One direction?

February 18, 2015

GM Trent Baalke on Jim Harbaugh: “We’ve moved on…. I feel very good about the direction we’re headed and I’m sure he does as well.” Yeah, actually it wouldn’t surprise me if Harbaugh feels VERY good about the direction in which the 49ers are headed…..

So in Boston, they are offering free Red Sox tickets to residents who help shovel show away from fire hydrants. If New York gets another storm they are thinking of a different strategy, anyone who doesn’t help with the snow will get free Knicks tickets.

 

The beagle that won “Best in Show” at the Westminster Dog Show, and thus became “America’s Dog”, is actually Canadian. Another immigrant taking something away from Americans. I blame Obama.

A New Jersey high school teacher has been indicted by a grand jury for allegedly having for sex with 6 different students. 6 students?! So clearly we do have a serious problem in our schools with overcrowding.

Browns coach Mike Pettine just said of Johnny Manziel’s issues, that “we had the same information everyone else in the league had. It turns out to be a deeper-rooted thing than we thought.” Is Cleveland planning on changing their mascot to an ostrich?

Mississippi just passed the “Jesus Take the Wheel” act, which would exempt drivers of mid-sized church buses (up to 30 passengers) from having a commercial driver’s license. Well, this is one way to get more people praying on the road.

Pamela Anderson has filed for divorce from Rick Salomon for the THIRD time. And this is the type of marriage some conservatives are working so hard to defend?

United Airlines plans to slightly increase capacity this year. And apparently 50% of the growth will come from the installation of “slim line” seats on 450 planes. Will United be installing these additional seats on their aircraft with a shoehorn?

 

Some are criticizing Joe Biden for putting his hands on Ash Carter’s wife’s shoulders. And really, it wasn’t very Presidential of him. Clearly Joe should have also given her a neck massage.

 

In Orlando, a woman was arrested when she walked naked down a residential street and stopped traffic by masturbating in public. Some Americans responded to this story with shock, others with “that’s Florida,” and Bostonians with “You can walk outside without a coat on?”

Scott Walker says that criticizing him for dropping out of college during his senior year is “elitist.” I think I like Sarah Palin’s “higher calling” better.

Little Caesar’s is offering a new deep dish pizza which is not just topped with pepperoni and back, its crust is wrapped in bacon. Does it come with free sides of statins and beta-blockers?

 

From Marc Ragovin. “I would put more stock in A-Rod’s letter of apology to Yankees fans if he hadn’t written it in disappearing ink.

From T.C.  Handwriting experts have analyed A-Rod’s written apology and concluded that he writes like a girl and has a massive ego. So does this mean he had his ex-squeeze Madonna pen his apology for him?

Mount MIT

February 18, 2015

mit

The California drought and warm weather means U.S. Ski and Snowboard Association has had to cancel a World Cup competition that was to be held in March at Squaw Valley.. Maybe they can move it to Boston?

 

The above photo is for real, built by MIT students.

 

In Washington, snow has shut the federal government, and according to a headline “330,000 are without power.” 330,001 if you count Joe Biden.

This weekend in Lake Placid all living members of the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team will reunite for the 35th anniversary of the “Miracle on Ice.” Meanwhile, in Boston, they are hoping for a “Miracle to get rid of the Ice.”

 

ESPN reports that investigators have found that a Patriots locker-room attendant tried to insert an unapproved football into their playoff game against the Colts. So have they also found how much New England might be paying this guy for throwing himself under the bus?

Over 23 million people watched NBC’s SNL’s 40th anniversary special Sunday night. Wonder how many of them had to first find out what channel NBC is these days?

Pablo Sandoval has shown up to spring training looking, well, large.  Guess the Panda hasn’t had any problems finding the bakeries and restaurants in Boston’s North End.

Several hundred teenagers in Ococee, FL stormed a movie theater after employees said they were not accompanied by adults, and refused to sell them tickets to “Fifty Shades of Grey,” If only they had been armed.

Ahmad Bradshaw was cited for possession of a small amount of marijuana by the Ohio Highway Patrol. But he wasn’t arrested, and the citation is payable without a court appearance. So basically, Ohio  just has a marijuana tax?

Kobe Bryant says he isn’t retiring. “I thought the Spurs were done 20 years ago. Those guys are still winning. … I’m hoping I can have the same rebirth.” Uh, except, Kobe, San Antonio doesn’t need an expensive backup shooting guard.

A 92 year-old-driver lost control of his minivan outside a Piggly Wiggly in Wisconsin, then panicked and hit a total of 9 other cars in the parking lot. Police say the man will not be ticketed, but he’s presumably been offered a spot in the next “Senior Demolition Derby.”


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