Rick Santorum is trying to explain his 2008 statement that ““Satan has his sights on the United States of America!” Stay tuned, maybe he’ll say he’s dyslexic and was talking about Santa. – Albert Pujols is objecting to billboards as part of the Angels marketing campaign that refer to him “El Hombre,” Pujols has asked [...]
Posted tagged ‘GOP debate jokes’
Ho, ho, ho?
February 23, 2012Random access.
January 27, 2012During tonight’s debate, Newt Gingrich gushed over Callista, that she was artistic and “played the French horn.” Was he saying she’s musical, or was that a euphemism for her talents that convinced him to make her his third wife? – Not voting for Ron Paul. But kudos to him for the best debate line of [...]
Winning?
January 24, 2012Mitt Romney says Gingrich is “erratic,” Newt Gingrich says Romney “can’t be trusted.” Who’s winning? President Obama. – Costa and their so-to-be-ex Captain are going at each other hot and heavy in the media as to assigning blame for the crash and sinking of the Concordia. Will the famous term for buck-passing be updated to [...]
Saints be praised.
January 8, 2012For anyone who wanted to see what Andrew Luck would be like with really good receivers, I refer you to highlights of Drew Brees tonight against the Lions. – Not to say the Saints were unstoppable. But in the second half, they were scoring faster than Tiger Woods during his marriage in a room full [...]
The latest Grate-ing debate.
November 23, 2011If Mitt Romney becomes the Republican Presidential nominee Madame Tussaud’s will face one of their biggest challenges ever –How to create a wax figure of a wax figure. – And tonight, in trying to come up with a witty response to Wolf Blitzer’s introduction of himself that including “And yes, my real name is Wolf,” [...]
Hearing voices.
November 14, 2011Herman Cain is now at least the third GOP candidate to claim God told him to enter the Presidential race. (After Bachmann and Perry.) Maybe God really wants President Obama to be re-elected? – So what do Jon Huntsman and Ron Paul have to do to get airtime at GOP debates? Start harrassing women and [...]
Slip sliding away.
November 13, 2011Well, the high wet grass was SUPPOSED to help Stanford tonight. Instead their BCS title hopes and maybe Andrew Luck’s Heisman hopes went slip sliding away. (It’s as if Oregon had the right cleats and the Cardinal didn’t. And then there was their inability to hold on to a wet football. Stanford played like they [...]
Double-speak or nothing?
October 19, 2011As Rick Perry and Mitt Romney took shots at each other in tonight’s CNN debates, how many people joined me in wanting to see a post-debate hard handshake and backslap etc….? – The next major GOP debate will be November 15,on foreign policy. Comedy writers across the country are already preparing for an all-nighter. – [...]
Waxed?
October 12, 2011Just a thought, if Mitt Romney ever actually does win the Presidency… Fully expect Madame Tussaud’s to throw up their hands and say “Sorry, there is no way we can compete with reality here.” – This thought inspired by a conversation with my friend Steven Harmon: If Admiral Stockdale was alive he would look at [...]
Shootout at the Hair Club for Men:
September 23, 2011The Romney-Perry feud is growing. The subtitle of this GOP Primary may be “There ain’t enough hair gel in this town for the two of us.” Two new polls apparently show former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman climbing into double digits in New Hampshire. Is that double digits in percentage terms, or in absolute numbers of [...]
Monday night massacre?
September 13, 2011What got hit harder? That football Sebastian Janokowski kicked for a 63 yard field goal? Or the Dolphins secondary against the Patriots? 517 yards in the air for Tom Brady Monday night for New England. It’s the most success Brady’s had completing passes since he got Bridget Moynahan pregnant while dating Giselle Bunchen. – Eight-run [...]
Scariest place in the world?
September 8, 2011Just might be in a room standing between Rick Perry and Mitt Romney and the only blow dryer. – Tonight’s GOP debate will be held at the Reagan Library. Ironic, because for all his reputation, Reagan did occasionally compromise with Democrats, raised taxes, and appointed Sandra Day O’Connor to the Supreme Court. In tonight’s crowd [...]
Honeymoon phase:
June 14, 2011Okay, it’s all sweetness and light now, but how long until the Dallas Mavericks get booed again in Los Angeles? – Many pundits are using Miami’s defeat in the NBA finals as proof you can’t buy a championship. And somewhere George Steinbrenner is just quietly chuckling…. – The Lebron James school of how to win [...]
