Posted tagged ‘gay football player jokes’

A kiss is still a kiss?

May 12, 2014

Okay, I get it, gay relationships make some people uncomfortable. But those who think ESPN showing Michael Sam kissing his BOYFRIEND sets a bad example for children seem to have no problem with pictures of Johnny Manziel partying with several scantily clad women.

 

In an effort to mock Michelle Obama’s #Bringbackourgirls campaign Ann Coulter tweeted a photo of herself holding a #Bringbackourcountry sign. And photoshoppers are proving that it is possible for a 52 year old woman to underestimate technology as badly as an 80 year old NBA owner.

 

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Clay AIken was leading his Democratic Congressional primary opponent by a few hundred votes and the race was heading for a recount. But Keith Crisco, 71, died after a fall at his home. Does this mean God is a member of the gay mafia?

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Oscar Pistorius’s defense team is now arguing that the former Olympic star has “anxiety issues” Right, like Pistorius is anxious now that he may spend the rest of his life in jail.

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So who’s going to fix #SolangeKnowles up on a blind date with #ChrisBrown?

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A Mankato, Minnesota man is in critical condition after a alleged assault by former Minnesota QB Philip Nelson, who just had transferred to Rutgers. Sounds like Nelson’s next transfer will be from the Scarlet Knights to the Mean Machine (the team in the Longest Yard.)

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The Cleveland Browns owner Jimmy Haslam says the team has told Johnny Manziel to start acting “like a backup quarterback.” So will Manziel now seek to trademark “Johnny Clipboard?”

 

How many people heard that #TylerColvin hit a home run and wondered “For which team?” #SFGiants

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Donald Sterling, on the apology trail – “Am I entitled to one mistake?” One mistake, maybe. One mistake on top of several racial discrimination lawsuits…. not so much.

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#DonaldSterling “I am not a racist.” I think I like “I was pushed into a lifeboat” better.

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The #SFGiants, who were going to miss Jose Fernandez during the Marlins visit to SF, were sorry to hear the young Miami ace has been placed on the 15-day DL with a sprained elbow. Especially since Fernandez’s next start was against the Dodgers.

 

Move over Matt Cain. Jeff Samardzija has you beat. The Chicago Cubs beat the St. Louis Cardinals tonight 17-5. Samardzija, 0-3, has a 1.45 ERA. In his 8 starts, the Cubs have scored 15 runs.

 

Great quote from  #SF Giants manager Bruce Bochy about Pablo Sandoval, who he batted in the cleanup sport Sunday despite a .173 average.  “He asked me how much I had to drink last night.”

Fears and jeers.

February 10, 2014

What’s the big deal? NFL players have been showering with rapists, adulterers, potential murderers and at least one dog-killer. And a gay guy is supposed to freak them out?

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Another reason to congratulate Michael Sam. He helped knock A-Rod out of the sports headlines.

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Forget these anonymous wimps saying it would be a problem. If some current NFL player wants to show real courage, perhaps it’s time to stand up and show Michael Sam that he won’t be the first openly gay guy in the league.

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As if we needed more proof that women are tougher than men: Female athletes have been showering with openly gay teammates and competitors for decades and surviving just fine.

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And of course we all knew the NFL completely fell apart once they allowed women reporters in the locker room. Oops, never mind. #Michaelsam #getoverit

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Going out on a limb here and saying that Jadeveon Clowney will eventually prove to be more of a distraction in an NFL locker room than Michael Sam.

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And the whole thing brings to mind the 2010 interview when Willie Mays, then 79 years old, was asked if baseball was ready for an openly gay player.  His three word response  “Can he hit?”

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Reportedly Arnold Schwarzenegger is thinking about challenging the Constitution and trying to run for President in 2016. Leaving the issue of his birthplace again, Arnold couldn’t even be re-elected as Governor of California.

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Okay, this is the gold medal story to disprove the axiom that one should never rejoice in the deaths of others. 21 Iraqis were killed today during an accident at a training camp for suicide bombers.

As T.C. says “class dismissed.”

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Those Christmas sweater Team USA uniforms have sold out online. At $595 for the sweater alone. Guess H.L. Mencken once again has been proved right. “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

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Olympics t-shirt I want to see. “Curlers get their rocks off.” 

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The individual events haven’t even begun yet and there’s already controversy in figure skating, first with allegations of a conspiracy between the Russian and US judges, and then amazingly high scores given to local favorite Evgeni Plushenko’s performance on Sunday. Well, at least the sport is already in mid-Olympic form.

Countdown.

February 1, 2013

Only two days left until Super Bowl Sunday. Then most Americans can get back to our regular winter sports pastimes – ignoring the regular seasons for the NBA and NHL, and counting the days until March Madness and MLB Opening Day.

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The NY Post is reporting that Hall of Fame QB Dan Marino had a “love child” with a CBS employee in 2005. Just goes to show what can happen when you let heterosexual men play football.

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January 31 was Jackie Robinson’s birthday. And before Robinson joined the Dodgers, many thought a black man’s presence in the clubhouse would be as disruptive for his fellow teammates as some still think a openly gay man’s presence would be today.

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And wow, Randy Moss actually said something intelligent Thursday  morning. On having a gay teammate: “It’s not 1979 anymore, it’s 2013. We should accept everyone.” (Quote from my friend Art Spander.)

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Meanwhile the 49ers’ Chris Culliver now says his anti-gay remarks were “in a joking manner.”  Culliver went to University of South Carolina.  Guess you can take the man out of the SEC….

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Baltimore Ravens safety Ed Reed said today that the NFL is fining players for the wrong things. Wonder how long it will take the league to fine him for saying that.

 

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CNN.com reports Dutch airline Transavia is investigating a copilot who fell asleep in the cockpit when the pilot took a bathroom break. The article says “Laws regarding pilot breaks during flights vary from country to country. For U.S. carriers, sleeping while at the controls is a violation of FAA regulations.” Uh, could we get a list of countries where it’s NOT a violation?

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New Jersey Sen. Robert Menendez’s office said unsubstantiated allegations that the senator engaged in sex with prostitutes in the Dominican Republic are false. Wonder what that means about prostitutes outside of the Dominican Republic.

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Sources say Alex Rodriguez is unlikely to play again in a New York Yankees uniform. “What a shame” said absolutely no Yankees fans.

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While her crew and band will be paid, Beyonce herself apparently will not receive payment for her Super Bowl performance. But the NFL and Pepsi will pick up production costs. Wonder if that includes the costs of pre-recording a tape?

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From T.C.  “Beyonce is rehearsing the Super Bowl half time show by practising lip syncing both her own and Madonna’s songs. Just in case a malfunction plays last year’s soundtrack.”

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Phil Mickelson shot a 60 today, in a golf tournament called “Waste Management Phoenix Open.” “The Waste Management Open?” That’s almost as good as the late-lamented Poulan Weed Eater Bowl.

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On a serious note, for this statement today alone I’d like to see Chuck Hagel confirmed as Secretary of Defense: “Our war in Iraq I think was the most fundamentally bad, dangerous decision since Vietnam.”.


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