During tonight’s debate, Newt Gingrich gushed over Callista, that she was artistic and “played the French horn.” Was he saying she’s musical, or was that a euphemism for her talents that convinced him to make her his third wife? – Not voting for Ron Paul. But kudos to him for the best debate line of [...]
Posted tagged ‘Clinton jokes’
Random access.
January 27, 2012It could be worse.
August 31, 2011When the SF Giants lost a number of close games on a recent road trip, some fans said, “Cheer up, it could be worse. And the team is coming home to play the Astros and Cubs, two of the worst teams in baseball.” They were right. It could be worse. And it is worse. When [...]
Floored.
January 15, 2011For all those who said Nike founder Phil Knight couldn’t have wasted money on anything that looked sillier than the Oregon Ducks’ BCS championship uniforms (with day-glo shoes and socks), I give you…. the new Oregon basketball floor. And those are trees on the wood, not water stains. Just think, had Knight only been an [...]
One wedding…and a potential funeral.
July 31, 2010The wedding, of course, was Chelsea Clinton’s. The potential funeral, Levi Johnston’s, now that Mama Grizzly has heard embarassing stories leak about TWO ex-girlfriends he apparently got back together with between engagements to Bristol. – Chelsea Clinton’s wedding was beautiful and touching. Not only did Hillary do the typical mother-of-the-bride crying, apparently Bill cried too. [...]
No crime or misdemeanor?
July 30, 2010The Portland Police decided not to file charges against Al Gore in the alleged 2006 sexual assault case. They cited deficiencies in the masseuse’s story, lack of forensic evidence, and the near impossibility of getting a 12 person jury to imagine Gore as a “crazed sex poodle.” – Tom Brady says he would like to [...]
Friday ramblings…
April 30, 2010Former President Clinton said that Chelsea asked him to do one thing for her regarding her summer wedding – which was to lose 15 pounds. Presumably her second choice request “Please don’t hit on my bridesmaids.” – Eminem rips Pittsburgh’s wayward quarterback in his new song with the line “Get as rowdy as Roethlisberger in [...]
NFL and other follies.
September 29, 2009A good thing for Tony Romo finally had a decent game, at this point Cowboys fans were about to blame him for distracting Jessica Simpson. – Jets coach Rex Ryan benched wide receiver David Clowney for week three after his twitter gripes about playing time after week two. Said Ryan “If I feel a guy [...]
Marriage and other games.
September 25, 2009Former President Clinton says he has changed his mind, and now supports gay marriage. Of course, Bill has a history of changing his mind on marriage – starting with that “forsaking all others” stuff. – The Chicago Cubs, favored to contend for the NL title, have long been out of the playoff hunt But really, [...]
Liars and losers…
September 20, 2009The Joe Wilson episode was shocking, the first time a member of Congress has yelled “You lie” at a sitting president. (Hillary doesn’t count, she wasn’t elected then.) – Apparently President Obama wants New York Governor David Paterson not even to compete in the 2010 gubernatorial 2010 election because he is facing almost certain defeat. [...]
Brett Favre and other babies….
September 5, 2009In a Walmart earlier this week, a man was accused of slapping a crying whining child. I didn’t even know Michael Crabtree shopped at Walmart. – The Duggars family are expecting their 19th child next March. All 18 of their children have names starting with J. For the next one, may I suggest “Just-say-no.”? Or [...]
If reality shows weren’t surreal enought…
August 18, 2009Now former House Majority Leader Tom Delay, is apparently going to compete in “Dancing with the Stars.”. This follows his role in that campaign finance scandal -”Dancing with the Truth.” What’s next? Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich in “Let’s Make a Deal?” And Robert Ensign, John Edwards and Mark Sanford in “Temptation Island.” In the [...]
Bill Clinton rescues the journalists….
August 4, 2009North Korea has pardoned the two U.S. journalists. Proving once again, there is no one better than Bill Clinton if the objective is going after two women. – Secretary of State Hillary Clinton may have been involved in the decision to send her husband to North Korea. Can you imagine that conversation. “So let me [...]
Natural talent…
May 16, 2009A resolution presented to the Vista, California school board to declare June 1 Carrie Prejean day failed this week. The resolution stated that Prejean is an example “of what great things can be accomplished with natural talent, hard work and dedication.” Considering that pageant-paid “boob job, honoring Prejean for her natural talent is like honoring [...]
The fall of Troy? And other Pac 10 problems.
May 14, 2009The NCAA is looking into allegations that coach Tim Floyd gave $1000.00 to a friend of O.J. Mayo’s to recruit the star player to USC. If USC ends up on probation or forfeiting victories over this, the incident may be known as “Sinko de Mayo.” - Sorry, I can’t come up with a better punchline than porn-star [...]
Tainted records…
May 7, 2009The Los Angeles Dodgers broke a major league record for most consecutive wins at home to open a season. But their opponent was the Washington Nationals. Shouldn’t THAT record have an asterisk? – Two Ohio businessmen and six University of Toledo former basketball players were indicted Wednesday in an alleged point shaving scheme. This is [...]
Yankees seats and other jokes…
April 27, 2009Regarding those premium seats that sell for over $5000 a pair at Yankee Stadium. The first place Toronto Blue Jays also charge extra for “Premium Dugout” seats, ie the field level on the infield. The cost for those seats, up to $73. Canadian. – Part of the problem the Yankees have is finding people willing [...]
Meow mix
April 21, 2009Okay, tonight’s posts are catty. Washingtonian Magazine featured a shirtless picture of our new President on the cover. Yet another reason to be glad Democrats didn’t nominate Hillary Clinton. – San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom officially announced his candidacy for Governor of California on Twitter. Does that mean all this followers are Twits? – Actually [...]
The amazing Susan Boyle…
April 17, 2009By now most of the world has seen and heard the marvellous Susan Boyle on Britain’s Got Talent. (By the way, hard to believe, but she is the same age as Princess Diana would be, had she lived.) Simon Cowell was clearly enraptured watching Susan Boyle sing. In fact, Simon hadn’t looked that approving since [...]
Michelle Obama meets the Queen
April 2, 2009Regarding that now famous picture of Michelle Obama and the Queen of Elizabeth with their arms around each other: I’ve got to figure the Queen whispered “Why couldn’t one of my boys have met a nice girl like you?” – Yankees General Partner Hal Steinbrenner said. “Look, there’s no doubt small amounts of our tickets [...]
More celebrity airline fares?
March 8, 2009Continuing the follow-up to JetBlue “Manny Fan fares” (which are for real!) Timothy Geithner fares- taxes optional. – Alex Rodriguez fares – first class fares, generally worth the price until October. – NHL fares – marketed in the U.S. and Canada, but somehow hard to sell in the States. – Tiger Woods fares – only [...]
