Portrait in lack of courage?

Posted July 21, 2014 by left coast sports babe
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Former NFL coach Tony Dungy said he wouldn’t have taken Michael Sam in the draft “Not because I don’t believe (he) should have a chance to play, but I wouldn’t want to deal with all of it. It’s not going to be totally smooth … things will happen.” But Dungy is also the man who does prison ministry, and who mentored Michael Vick while in prison. Somewhere Jesus really is weeping.

 

#RichardSherman‘s celebrity softball game drew over 22,000 to #SafecoField.   That’s only about 1,000 people less than the average Mariners home game.  #nojoke.

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New York Yankees just announced that the “official” game honoring Derek Jeter will be Sept. 7. Did no one in the front office see the All Star game?

 

The SF Giants were down 4-3 in the 4th inning, and the Phillies had runners on 1st and 3rd with no outs. Thinking not even Pete Rose would have bet that Philly was done scoring.

 

 

Box Score #SFGiants 7-15-1, #Phillies 4-14-0. Without watching you know this was not a thing of beauty. But #awinisawin

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#SFGiants have agreed to terms with Dan Uggla. Some concern as to whether he can still hit major league pitching. But hey, the Giants know for sure that some of their current lineup can’t.

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Odrisamer Despaigne came within four outs yesterday of throwing the first no-hitter in San Diego’s 46 year history. And Padres pitchers have the added handicap of not being able to pitch against own team.

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Jameis Winston said in an FSU pre-season press conference that this year he knows he has “to live up to the hype.” And presumably get his seafood from the training table.

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Facebook is adding a new “Facebook Save” feature for people to file interesting “items that you find on Facebook to check out later when you have more time.” “When you have more time?!” Translation for a lot of people, when they’ve retired and Facebook is long gone?

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A volunteer California policewoman was put on leave after she posted an-anti bike video rant on YouTube, including asking a man who much she’d have to pay him to run a cyclist over. The caption “Like you’ve never thought about it.” She has apologized and said it was satire. Fair enough, but for a COP to post it?   Apparently SHE never thought about it.

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Tough times in Washington. President Obama has to decide what actions to take against Russia, And then the GOP has to immediately decide how those actions are wrong.

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It was an American conspiracy to start a war with Russia. …The Ukraine military thought they were shooting down Putin’s plane…. Or MH17 is really MH370, and it took off “full of corpses….”

Even Fox News is bowing to the creativity of some Russian conspiracy theories….

Based not in tranquility

Posted July 20, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

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Sunday was the 45th anniversary of Apollo 11’s landing on the moon. If it happened on Obama’s watch have to wonder what the Republican reaction would be…. Maybe a Congressional investigation for demonstrating American weakness by not focusing on our enemies on this planet? If the GOP said they believed the footage at all.

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Really? Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have spent $500,000 to hire a baby body double to protect their daughter North from photographers. Guess they don’t want anyone exploiting pictures of the child for money. Except her parents.

 

 

Equal gender opportunity “Crooks are Stupid” item: An Illinois woman posted pictures of herself on Facebook wearing a distinctive new dress. Police investigating a theft from a local boutique promptly arrested her as the dress was one of the items stolen.

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In the summer, the London Zoo has “Zoo Lates” on Friday nights, fund-raising events which feature music and beer tents. Last Friday apparently a man poured beer over a tiger. Sadly as far as fundraising,  the tiger was not able to climb out of its enclosure and reduce the Zoo’s food bill.

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Singapore Airlines is apologizing to people who thought their recent tweet was insensitive. “Customers may wish to note that Singapore Airlines flights are not using Ukraine airspace.” And yes, maybe a tweet wasn’t the way to do it. But have to wonder how many calls airlines are now getting about their Europe to Asia routes.

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Two pigeons made it into Rogers Centre for the Toronto Blue Jays -Texas Rangers game. Had the pigeons been at Marlins Park today, Miami would have no doubt counted them to boost the supposed attendance..

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Bad news for ESPN. Tiger Woods had one of his worst Briish Opens ever. Good news for ESPN. At least most casual golf fans recognized winner Rory McIlroy’s name.

 

(of course, had McIlroy’s breakup with tennis star Caroline Wozniack just  involved a few waitresses and a mid night flight involving police, who knows what the ratings might have been.?)

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The Costa Concordia is upright and will be on its way to Genoa. The Concordia’s interior of the ship is kind of a mess after being underwater for over 2 years. But it would probably be unfair to compare conditions to being aboard a Carnival Cruise ship.

 

 

 

New Zealand’s Jack Bauer almost won a Tour de France stage but was overtaken at the end by Norway’s Alexander Kristoff . Presumably the last minute ending took place at 7:59.37 pm?

 

SNL won the Television Critics Association’s Heritage Award Sunday . “Heritage” as in ancient history for being funny?

 

 

 

Controversy now as New York City approved a new development by the Hudson River where affordable housing tenants will have to enter by a “poor door,” when regular tenants can use the main entrance. So while we’re at it, what about two doors for those paying higher prices, one for those who earned their money, and one for those who inherited it.

Walking the line?

Posted July 20, 2014 by left coast sports babe
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The future King of England, Prince George, is upright. Probably more upright than Prince Harry after a night on the town.

Prince George Of Cambridge First Birthday

 

The Chicago Cubs have filed a lawsuit over “Billy Cub”, a fake mascot that allegedly has been engaging in bad behavior outside Wrigley Field. Wonder how long it will take some Cubs season ticket holders to file a lawsuit over bad behavior on the field inside Wrigley.

 

The Mariners and Angels have played two games since the All-Star Break, totaling 28 innings. Note to both teams, the World Cup is over, enough with the stoppage time.

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And if  the MLB season ended today, the Angels and Mariners would be in a one-game wild card playoff. Seattle is 6.5 games behind L.A.(Anaheim.) But if they could start Felix Hernandez, they’d be the favorites to advance. Another “gift” from Bud Selig.

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Giancarlo Stanton takes  Sergio Romo deep to lead off the bottom of the ninth in Miami. “I didn’t see that coming.” Said nobody.

 

In a 5-1 game that became a 5-3 game  #SFGiants manager Bruce Bochy removed Sergio Romo in the ninth after a home run and a double and apparently told Romo that it wasn’t about him finishing the game, but wanted Casilla to get the work. That’s his story and he’s sticking to it.

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Huston Street, after being traded from San Diego to the Angels “I believe in the Padres’ ownership. They want to win and they are not content with status quo. I blame the players for what’s happened here.” Right, all those high-priced superstars that just can’t gell as a team, like so-and-so, and him, and.., can anyone name a Padre? (More than one.)

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Newt Gingrich wrote an op-ed saying that President Obama hides in a fantasy world. Of course, Gingrich’s fantasy is that he’s still relevant.

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Vladimir Putin is retaliating against new sanctions against Russia by denying some Americans visas. Just thinking flying into Russia is not at the top of too many people’s wish lists right now.

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The NY Knicks may sign Metta World Peace again. Not sure if it will help the team. But this is good news for comedy writers.

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Rand Paul, who’s against raising the minimum wage, talked about his son happily delivering pizza,: “The minimum wage is a temporary thing. It’s a chance to get started.” Of course, if you’re the son of a senator, it probably is a way to get started….what about all those other grown-ups still working those jobs?

The Selig era is almost basically over.

Posted July 19, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Bud Selig is actually supposed to retire in six months. He and baseball owners want former MLB deputy commissioner Steve Greenberg to be his replacement. But Greenberg says he doesn’t want the job, though he would be honored to follow Selig, who he calls “easily baseball’s greatest commissioner since Judge Landis.” Well, wishes aside, shouldn’t that statement disqualify Greenberg by reason of insanity?

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Only 30% of Los Angeles area residents can see Dodgers games on TV due to a cable dispute. And David Rone, president of Time Warner Cable Sports, which distributes the games, says “It is unlikely that we are going to get a deal done. Suffering Midwest fans are thinking “why couldn’t this happen with the Cubs?”

 

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Anyone else think Vladimir Putin is more likely to officiate at a gay wedding than he is to determine that MH17 was shot down by pro Russian-separatists?

 

 

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The Federal Government has charged FedEx with drug trafficking for delivering illegal prescription drugs, allegedly for over a decade. What took the Government this long? Maybe they figured FedEx is taking profitable business from the post office?

 

 

Lebron James announced his return to Cleveland last week, but still hasn’t chosen if he will wear #6 or #23. How long until ESPN dedicates a special edition of Sports Center to the decision?

 

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For all those who think the SFGiants have a problem at 2nd base, it could be worse. Dan Uggla, released by the Atlanta Braves, hit .162 with 2 home runs and is still owed over $18 million.

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Red Sox GM Ben Cherington says the last-place team is not giving up on 2014 yet. And even Cubs fans are thinking “I want some of what you’re smoking.”

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CNN had Michele Bachmann commented that Hillary Clinton “should be worried” about Elizabeth Warren in 2016. Michele Bachmann as a political prognosticator? Well, maybe since Paul the Octopus is no longer with us.

 

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From Jim Barach ”  Downtown Los Angeles is at its driest since record-keeping began in 1877. Which means at least there is something in L.A. with a longer dry spell than the one that takes the Dodgers back to 1988.”

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A Supreme Court injunction means that Utah has won at least a temporary delay in recognizing same-sex marriages. Guess the state figures if a man isn’t happy marrying a woman, he should just marry more women.

 

 

In Los Angeles, a man robbing a liquor store apparently accidentally shot and killed his accomplice. So sometimes the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is another bad guy with a gun.

 

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The NY Yankees announced there will be  a Derek Jeter retirement ceremony on Sept 7. #FarewellCaptain Except that I thought the whole 2014 season was a Jeter retirement ceremony.

 

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And finally.   Aldon Smith,  after a D.A. decided not to press charges for alleged LAX bomb threats, was sentenced Friday for possessing illegal fire arms. Along with a separate case of DUI and marijuana possession after driving and hitting a tree.

Smith got 3 years of probation, and 12 days of work crew on Mondays. Which will end before the 49ers first Monday night game.

So let this be a lesson to the youth of America. Behave yourselves. Unless you are SURE you have NFL level talent.

 

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Rocky Mountain Leftover High?

Posted July 17, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , ,

CBS News reports that tourists are regularly leaving their leftover marijuana purchases inside rental cars at Denver International Airport, because they don’t want to be arrested when they head home. In related news, Hertz and Avis just reported a 1,000% increase in Colorado job applications..

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Chris Christie says that on a “case by case” basis, his state may consider housing some of the detained immigrant children. Makes sense, have them spend some time in New Jersey and they may go racing back home.

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So the MH17 black box has been sent to Moscow for Investigation. Great. Now we will get the real story because as Edward Snowden tells us, Russia is a great and open country and a champion of human rights….’

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We often ridicule U.S. government agencies over their rules and regulations. But it appears that they got this one right: In April, on the “Special Rules” section of its site, the U.S. Federal Aviation Administration put out an order prohibiting American pilots, airlines, charter carriers, and everyone else over whom the FAA has direct jurisdiction, from flying over southern parts of Ukraine.

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John McCain is already talking about “profound repercussions” against whoever shot down MH17. Surely we should be able to invade somebody….

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The finger pointing has begun between Russia and the Ukraine over MH17. It may take longer to figure out who’s really to blame than it does to find MH370.

(The GOP already no doubt  – has it figured out, it’s Obama’s fault.)

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Microsoft has announced they are cutting 18,000 jobs. Of course, the tech giant doesn’t “fire” people, they just tell them they are performing an illegal operation and will be shut down.

 

Cheerful story on a bad news day. My friend Linda M. Wilson reminds me that Disneyland opened 59 years ago  on July 17.. Although there’s a whole generation of Americans growing up with no concept of the phrase “E ticket ride.”

 

Okay, how slow a day was Thursday  in the sports world? ESPN has the headline that the 2015 NFL draft location has been narrowed down to Los Angeles and Chicago.

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You can’t make this “stuff” up. MLB and FOX’s excuse for not paying tribute to Tony Gwynn during the All Star Game- is that the “baseball family” had lost a “number of people” this year and they “did not want to slight anyone by singling out one individual.” Well, and that and it would have interrupted the flow of the Derek Jeter show.

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To be fair, maybe MLB and FOX made such of a big deal out of Derek Jeter’s farewell All-Star game because they knew he’d already played his last postseason game.

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But maybe all of the hype is getting to be overkill.  From Bill Littlejohn:  “A Yankee Stadium suite for Derek Jeter’s final home game is going for $244,000.  Why the discount?”

 

Where in the world…?

Posted July 16, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , ,

A TSA agent today at Orlando International Airport.  asked for a reporter’s passport when the man showed him a District of Columbia driver’s license. Not realizing D.C. is actually part of the U.S. Wonder if the TSA agent told the guy his team should have beaten Brazil….

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Okay, both Bud Selig and players association executive director Tony Clark both just said they would like to reduce and ultimately eliminate smokeless tobacco usage in MLB. Great, so with that goal, wouldn’t it have made sense to use the big stage of the All-Star Game for that message as part of a tribute to Tony Gwynn? Or would that have taken time away from “Pride of the Yankees -2 -the Derek Jeter show?”

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If someone turned into last night’s All-Star game who had never seen baseball before and didn’t know the players, they might have been forgiven for thinking “That poor Jeter guy, he must be dying?”

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At Target Field presume someone is interviewing the last stadium worker asking how it felt to clean up after #Jeter‘s last #AllStarGame?

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From Bill Littlejohn.  “I hear that Adam Wainwright’s new walk-up music just became ‘Groovin’ on a Sunday Afternoon'”

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Alabama and USC will kick off the 2016 college football season with a game at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas. It will be the first regular season meeting in almost 40 years between two of the NCAA’s highest paid teams.

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With the new College Football Playoff system, the “Power Five” conferences will each receive about $50 million and the other FBS leagues will split $75 million. Just for this first year. Well, this should help the NCAA pay legal bills as they fight against paying players because it would ruin the game.

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Oscar Pistorius, whose trial is in a recess until August, got into a bar fight last weekend, but his family issued a statement it was only because he’s in ‘emotional pain,’ and feels lonely. “I feel so sorry for him” said nobody.

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Another of those “Darwin – missed it by that much” stories. A West Seattle man decided to kill a spider with a can of spray paint and a lighter (huh?) He managed to set his house on fire, causing about $60,000 in damages. Although he, and possibly the spider, survived.

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In South Carolina, the KKK is handing out bags of candy as part of a recruiting effort. The bags have a phone number and a message inside .””Save Our Land, Join the Klan.” Is it too late to let the South secede?

(Dan St. Paul suggests, “Presumably the bags have two holes cut out for your eyes?”)

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Dwight Howard tweeted last weekend “FreePalestine.” Then deleted the message 15 min later “Previous tweet was a mistake, I have never commented on international politics and never will.” Did Howard run out of characters to end the message “again?”

 

 

Best team award at the #ESPYS to the Seattle Seahawks? Really . Even #ESPN doesn’t respect the #Spurs. #notenoughdrama?

 

 

-Would love to be a fly on the wall when athletes’ wives ask “So honey, what did you think of that #Sidepieces song? #ESPYS #nogoodanswer.

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Dick Cheney says that “Barack Obama is the worst President of my lifetime.” Now, President Obama hasn’t been perfect. But he’s not even the worst President of the last decade.

 

 

Majority ruled?. Senate Republicans today blocked a bill to restore free birth control for women whose health insurance comes from employers with religious objections. The losing vote? 56-43 in favor of the bill. (Three GOP Senators voted yes.. Two were women.)

The Midsummer Jeter Show

Posted July 15, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

Tonight home field advantage was decided for the World Series by a largely meaningless game with many players chosen based on popularity and others because each team needs a representative. Why doesn’t baseball use the system followed by so many other sports – who can offer the biggest bribe? #AllStarGame.
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After watching the show now have to figure Bud Selig is staying up nights trying to figure out how to make sure the World Series includes Derek Jeter.

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Just in case anyone thought network news was no longer relevant. Nice job CBS News tweetng a REAL scoop “@CBSNews: Michael Jeter takes bow at his final All-Star game.” Wonder if Michael’s brother is any good.

 

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SF Giants All Star Hunter Pence, on his unorthodox style for doing, well, everything. “It’s just the way I am. I love it. I enjoy it. I just want to thank whatever it is that created me.” So does this mean Pence isn’t religious, or he figures God would say “Hey, don’t put this on me, I don’t understand Hunter either.”

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So how long until #Jeter gives his “Luckiest Man in America” speech? #AllStarGame

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Bud Selig said today that Montreal is an “excellent candidate” for another MLB team. But added that there’s “a lot of work to do” with them getting a new stadium. Why, Olympic Stadium is almost as bad as the Oakland A’s “O.Co Coliseum.”.

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A-Rod now is being sued by his attorneys for unpaid legal fees. Just how low do you have to go before your own lawyers think you’re a incorrigible scumbag?
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Okay, organizers at Blackfoot Pride Days in Idaho were chagrined when a pilot hired to drop 3,000 pingpong balls redeemable for prizes into a crowd missed, and instead dropped the balls on an nearby interstate highway. The pilot actually made the 2nd mistake. The 1st was thinking this was a good idea in the first place.

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Alabama once again has the top recruits for college football. But isn’t it an oxymoron to call it a “recruiting class?”
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Apparently this season’s ratings for the Bachelorette are not great. But to be fair, anyone who wants to watch a bunch of egotistical prima donnas compete for attention and “love” now has 24-7 coverage available of NBA free agency

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New SNL cast members Noël Wells and John Milhiser have been fired after 1 year. Surprising most Americans who didn’t realize either of them were on the show in the first place.
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In an interview, Marion Barry says Rob Ford is “making a fool of himself.” Guess that makes as much sense about Dick Cheney complaining about what President Obama is doing wrong with Iraq.
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In my email inbox. A Groupon half-price sky dive. Okay, of all the things in the world that maybe you wouldn’t want on a bargain basement deal, a sky-dive has to be up there, or rather down there. Maybe following a dinner of day-old sushi?

 

Dick Cheney – “Obama’s failure to provide for a stay-behind force is what created the havoc we see in Iraq today.” Because it’s not as if Iraq ever had a stable government before behind a strong leader…. Oops, never mind.


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