Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

Going down

June 24, 2015

And so in Alabama, Gov. Robert Bentley just simply ordered the Confederate flag taken down from the Capitol. The most stunning thing about this, no fuss, no muss, no drama – he just had it taken down. What a concept! .

Who says there’s no hope for our country? The Confederate flag is coming down everywhere, and FOX News has declined to renew Sarah Palin’s $1 million-a-year contract as a contributor.

Just in case anyone thought we were having too much of a epidemic of sanity on the Confederate flag issue, I give you Ann Coulter, who is upset with Nikki Haley: “I’m appalled…though on the other hand, she is an immigrant and does not understand America’s history.” (Haley was born in Bamberg, South Carolina.)

Although suppose Coulter might be tangentially onto something. As an alien Ann herself doesn’t really understand humans.

Apparently since no other candidate has broken out of the pack, Bobby Jindal thinks he has a chance and is going to join the 2016 Presidential race. You know, I can watch a tight cluster of people atop say, the U.S. Open leaderboard, without suddenly thinking I could win at golf.

Regarding that Whole Foods overcharging story, where NYC inspectors found EVERY label was inaccurate as to weight. So the store couldn’t have just raised prices a dollar or so a pound? Seems like their basic pricing policy already was ‪#‎ifyouhavetoaskyoucantaffordit‬

Before tonight, the SF Giants are averaging 2.91 runs a game at AT&T Park and over 5 runs a game during away games. This is as skewed a road to home scoring ratio as we have seen since Bill Clinton first hit the campaign trail.

So since the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ don’t seem to be able to hit at home these days, maybe they should get a certain former left fielder in for a little batting practice coaching. #25 always seemed to manage it pretty well.

Though to be fair, the Giants now haves Nori Aoki on the DL due to a fractured fibula after being hit by a pitch, joining Hunter Pence who is on the DL due to a wrist injury resulting from HIS forearm being broken by a pitch in spring training. So is this the league’s plan to dethrone the World Champions,, take them out one player at a time?

Amtrak apparently stranded passengers on a New York City bound train Tuesday for about five hours without food, air conditioning or working bathrooms. Are they really trying to compete with the airlines?”

Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler’s wife, Kristin Cavallari, apparently told ELLE Magazine earlier that the family wants to leave Chicago and move to Nashville once her husband retires. And many Bears fans are thinking, “Could this be arranged by Christmas?”

In a Fox News poll, 18% of respondents said Donald Trump is a serious candidate; 77% said he is “a side show.” Presumably the other 5% were laughing so hard they couldn’t speak.

This ought to be entertaining. The Grateful Dead concerts this weekend at Levi’s Stadium follow NFL rules. Meaning you can bring a small clutch or wallet, but the ONLY bags you can bring in are limited-size clear plastic bags, period. Well, at least most Deadheads have years of experience going to concerts with small plastic bags.

It’s about time?

June 21, 2015

Goldman Sachs has announced that they will tell banking interns to leave the office by midnight and not return before 7 a.m., and to take Saturdays off.  By high-tech startup standards that’s practically turning them into slackers.

Dr. John Hagee, a San Antonio pastor, said there ‘there is no greater sin in terms of wrongly using God’s name than women who use it during sex. .That is one of the filthiest, most derogatory and sinful uses of the Lord’s name I can think of. If it were up to me, I would put every single woman or girl who does that in jail,’ Leaving aside the fact that he didn’t mention men, just guessing Hagee has no personal experience of a woman crying out anything while having sex with him.

Finally, a weekend without professional basketball. Makes sense though, the NBA had to finish before Father’s Day. ‪#‎somanychildrensolittletime‬

Greg Oden is attempting another NBA comeback.  Might be worth the risk for more than a few teams.   And, hey, his health insurance will be covered by Medicare.

 

Have to think that non-golf fans who turned into the ‪#‎USOpen2015‬ & heard comments about “greens” were thinking  “what exactly was “green” about them?”

Is there any stupider thing in sports for spectators to yell than “Get in the hole?” ‪#‎USOpen2015‬

Hard to believe, but Jordan Spieth is young enough that actually he could be Tiger Woods’ son.  (He’s 21 to Tiger’s 39.) #theygrowupsofast

 

From T.C.  “Somebody hired a plane that sported a banner “CHEATER” to follow Tiger’s group at the US Open. A fan thought he saw two blond women flying the aircraft. ”

Judy Shalom Nir-Mozas, the of Israel’s Interior Minister tweeted an “inappropriate joke” Sunday about Barack Obama, then deleted it and apologized. One thing about social media, if you’re an idiot, instead of that knowledge being confined to your family and friends, you can tell the whole world in a matter of minutes.

Just making it clear. I have and will continue to make posts referring to the “Charleston terrorist.” I am not going to give the SOB any more of the notoriety he clearly sought by using his given name. If we’re going to use names at all it should be the names of the victims.

Lastly, Happy Father’s Day to my dad, Jerry Hough. He once gave me a lecture because my 2nd grade teacher said I was too quiet and never spoke up in class. Who said kids never learn from their parents?

Video evidence

June 20, 2015

A video is going viral of a squirrel running around Citizens Bank Park and entering the Phillies dugout, causing  players to scramble.  Well, makes sense.  The squirrel was more frightening than anyone in the Philadelphia lineup.

http://atmlb.com/1K2KtZe

 

 

A German man has posted a video after a breakup showing him sawing all their communal property in half with a power saw, including a teddy bear and a pickup truck. Wonder how many calls he’s gotten to option his story for a country song?

 

It may be the only time I ever say this.   But, well played, Mitt.

“Take down the #ConfederateFlag at the SC Capitol. To many, it is a symbol of racial hatred. Remove it now to honor #Charleston victims.”

The bride whose Waldorf Astoria wedding reception was cancelled after one of her guests accidentally shot off his gun, injuring four people, is now suing the hotel “for millions.” Her attorney told the New York Post: ‘We are planning to sue the Waldorf for the costs of the wedding and the emotional harm suffered by the bride and groom, whose dream wedding was destroyed for no reason whatsoever by Waldorf personnel.”

And some wonder why Shakespeare wrote “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.”

And then in contrast to Mitt Romney on the Confederate flag issue, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz said the last thing the people of South Carolina need is “people from outside of the state coming in and dictating how they should resolve it.” Right, but Cruz has no problem telling other states what to do about gay marriage….

Apparently hundreds of NPR listeners were outraged and threatened to stop donating when the network had Kim Kardashian on the quiz show “Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me..” Amazing. That so many NPR listeners would admit to knowing who Kim Kardashian is.

 

Max Scherzer throws a no-hitter and misses a perfect game with 2 outs in the bottom of the ninth because Jose Tabata leaned into a pitch. Maybe the Nationals need to sign Bob Gibson or Pedro Martinez to a one-game contract tomorrow to give Tabata a little baseball education.

 

Justin Maxwell was only in the ‪#‎Giants‬ ‪#‎Dodgers‬ game because ‪#‎Aoki‬ left after being hit by a pitch in 1st.  And he hit a 2 run home run.  Karma is now wearing a particularly bitchy grin.

In Texas, a volunteer firefighter was fired after apparently posting on Facebook that the Charleston terrorist “needs to be praised for the good deed he has done” Leaving aside the awfulness of the comment, just how stupid do you have to be to be that racist right now in public?

 

Paul Pierce, 37, apparently is going to play again in the NBA, either returning to the Wizards or signing with the Clippers. Does Pierce think he’s too young to play for the Spurs?

The Orlando Sentinel is reporting that a local man is recovering from “non-life threatening” injuries after accidentally shooting himself…..during a gun safety class. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

 

 

 

Jason Day, who has been suffering from vertigo, and who collapsed at the end of Friday’s round, shot a 68 Saturday and is in a four-way tie for the lead after the third round of the U.S. Open. Right about now Tiger Woods is thinking, how do you catch vertigo?

All about me

June 20, 2015

Brian Williams apologized and blamed his ego for his exaggeration of the truth. And then Williams added that Sigmund Freud had told him that he had one of the biggest egos the psychiatrist had ever seen.

Reports are that  A&P , once the U.S. leading grocery chain, is considering filing for bankruptcy. Said everyone under 40, “What’s A&P?”

First year Warriors coach Steve Kerr received a text from former teammate Tim Duncan “It’s that easy, huh?” Hmm, maybe we have a new candidate to take over some day from Gregg Popovich?

 

Skip Bayless on Friday called Tiger Woods a “disgrace” and a “train wreck.” Well, if anyone knows about being a disgrace and a train wreck.

Orlando’s “Wet and Wild,” one of America’s first water park opened in 1977, will close at the end of 2016. Apparently it’s not cool enough for today’s kids. And besides, it’s hard to go down the slides with smart phones.

 

Well, at least he’s got things in perspective. Steph Curry at today’s Warriors’ celebration after their parade. “6 years ago I could walk around & not be recognized, now we’re world champs & I’m known as Riley’s dad.”

Just saw a list of Major League Baseball top prospects. Curiously enough I looked up the March 2014 “top prospects by team.” Found a list that for the SF Giants, listed Joe Panik as their 15th best prospect. Matt Duffy was 30th. ‪#‎whatdotheyknow‬?

From T.C.  “St. Louis Cardinals say they have stopped hacking into the Houston Astros computers as they have found way more interesting stuff snooping into Pablo Sandoval’s phone. ”

(And Panda was benched for a day for being on Instagram during a game.  So does that mean he got to spend the evening in the clubhouse with his phone?)

 

Okay, who says I never say anything nice about Republicans?

“Regardless of our views about the symbolism of the … flags — and people of goodwill can disagree on the subject — the governor believes that most (residents of the state) would agree that the symbols of (the) past should not be displayed in a manner that may divide (us) today,” Governor Jeb Bush of Florida in 2001, ordering the Confederate flag taken down at the capitol.

Your move, South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley.

 

 

 

Don’t need three reasons why Texas Gov. Rick Perry is unfit to be President. This one will do. From an interview today, about South Carolina. (capital letters are mine ) – “Any time there is an ACCIDENT like this, the president is clear. He doesn’t like for Americans to have guns and so he uses every opportunity, this being another one, to basically go parrot that message.”

Love a parade.

June 18, 2015

Warriors coach Steve Kerr says after the Warriors victory parade Friday, “I just want to sit on my couch and watch the U.S. Open and drink beer.” Well, for the last two rounds maybe Kerr can invite Tiger Woods to join him,

Apparently in the 24 hours after the Golden State Warriors won the NBA championship, a record amount of gear was sold. Wonder if for an extra charge manufacturers could make the shirts etc look like fans had been wearing them for a while.

Donald Trump apparently offered actors $50 each to show up and cheer for him as he announced his run for the Presidency.. Aha, NOW I see the Donald’s jobs plan… imagine how many people he will have to hire to show up at his various campaign events.

 

For the first time since 1970, McDonald’s is closing more restaurants than they are opening in the U.S. Because in an era of pizza with hot dogs and XXL grilled stuffed burritos, their offerings aren’t fattening enough for Americans anymore?

An American tourist, 27, is in stable condition with bite wounds at a Cancun hospital. This after the man, while allegedly drunk, ignored England and Spanish warning signs and climbed the barbed-wire fence of a crocodile enclosure at the Iberostar resort…. And once again, Darwin is thinking “missed it by THAT much.” #cantfixstupid

 

Maybe SF Giants fans should be happy at least Sandoval left before we got these “Panda being Panda” stories. He was benched for tonight’s game after “liking” a young woman’s pictures on Instagram last night during the game. Said he was in the bathroom at the time…..

 

A little inside baseball for SF Giants fans.

#‎Panda‬ who? ‪#‎McGehee‬ who? ‪#‎Duffy‬ does it again. ‪#‎SFGiants‬

Astros’ GM Luhnow is denying reports that alleged Cardinals’ hackers got into the Astros database because he hadn’t changed his password(s). But have to wonder how many other people in baseball who have changed teams in the past just changed their passwords.

And now back to the serious stuff.  Don’t worry.  I’m not going to stay with this much serious stuff  for long. Though it would be nice to dream that maybe THIS time some things might actually change…. No joke.

 

The NY Times is reporting that the alleged Charleston terrorist was arrested and banned from a local mall in Feb. 2015 after he alarmed security guards by asking questions at stores about employees and when they left the mall. Then he was arrested again two months later at the mall, and jailed for 12 days. Clearly a troubled young man. And his dad decided that a good birthday present for him was a gun?!!!

Well, that didn’t take long. FoxNews.com already has an editorial saying that if churches weren’t gun-free zones, last night’s ” horrible tragedy…probably could have been avoided.”

And now it also  comes out that last week the alleged Charleston terrorist told friends and neighbors at the park that “he was looking to kill a bunch of people on Wednesday.” And his roommate said the guy has been talking about “something like that for six months.”“He was big into segregation and other stuff.. He said he wanted to start a civil war. He said he was going to do something like that and then kill himself.”

But they  thought he was joking. We’ve been taught to take suicide threats seriously, seems like it’s time to do the same with comments about killing. Even TSA, as much as we joke about them, would have stopped him for those words.

Tear down that flag

June 17, 2015

Covering something serious first this time.  Was just in Memphis at the Lorraine Motel Civil Rights  Museum, where one of their  exhibition on the 1963 Birmingham Church bombing.  A horrible moment in U.S. history, and one you’d LIKE to think we’d moved beyond.   But apparently not.

 

Tomorrow morning in South Carolina the flags will be at half-staff. At the State House, that means the U.S. flag AND the Confederate flag. Too much to hope I suppose that they never raise that Confederate one again….

Apparently Charleston police briefly handcuffed a young white man who fit the description of the shooter, but quickly released him, unharmed, when they realized he was not the right person. Wonder what would have happened if a young black man had been suspected of shooting nine white people?

 

 

But since if we don’t laugh the terrorists win, including the domestic terrorists.    So, though my heart goes out to the friends and families of the victims,  below are jokes written earlier in the evening.

The University of Texas has just approved the sale of beer to the general public at Darrell K Royal – Texas Memorial Stadium, capacity over 100,000 for the 2015 football season, And the state has just legalized firearms on college campuses. ‪#‎WhatcouldPOSSIBLYgowrong‬?

It pains me to say anything nice about a Dodger. But I do love this tweet from Brandon McCarthy. “in keeping with baseball tradition, a Houston exec should walk into the STL offices and hit their best front office guy with a fastball.” ‪#‎hackgate‬

The FCC is going to fine AT&T $100 million for “severely” slowing down data speeds for customers who bought so-called “unlimited” mobile data plans. $100 million?!! So assume AT&T will raise rates to a total tune about $150 million to cover their costs.

Lebron James after the Finals – “We ran out of talent.” And current Lakers fans are going “what is talent?”

As great a run as San Francisco Bay area teams have had, neither the SF Giants nor the Warriors have clinched a championship in front of a home crowd. And now with the 2016 Super Bowl at Levi’s Stadium, pretty sure that tradition will continue.

Johnny Manziel said hs trademark money sign “will not be back. I will not be making it out there.” Which we can all hope is a sign of maturity. Or a realization he won’t be having much on the field to celebrate.

Jim Harbaugh has decided to hold 11 satellite football camps in 7 different states for high school players. which he says is about “sharing a love for football.” Adding, “in my America you’re allowed to cross borders.” Some other coaches, especially in the ACC and SEC, say it’s recruiting and are are apoplectic – Nick Saban says it’s a “competitive disadvantage.”

Not sure about that, but any coach who can upset Nick Saban and the SEC is likely to pick up a lot of fans all across the USA.

Really, KNBR, Really?! The SF Giants’ and GS Warriors’ flagship radio station is running a Father’s Day contest for listeners to share their favorite sports memories with dad. That’s cool.  But what about a Mother’s Day contest for sharing your favorite sports memory with MOM!?

 

So with ‪#‎SFGiants‬ in Seattle they need a ‪#‎DH‬. Can’t ‪#‎Madbum‬ hit and let ‪#‎McGehee‬ be the DH?

Apparently Rep. Darrell Issa was kicked out of a closed hearing on Benghazi that he hadn’t been invited to in Washington, D.C. What’s most surprising? The chairman who escorted him out was a fellow Republican. ‪#‎toocrazyevenforawitchhunt‬?

 

My friend Tom forwards this “wish I’d thought of that”  line from his friend Cliff Miller.  “Suggested Trump campaign slogan: We shall overcomb!”

Oh brother.

June 16, 2015

Jeb Bush is trying to distance himself from those who worry he will simply repeat his brother’s presidency. And somewhere Dick Cheney is cackling “People actually BELIEVE W. was President….”

Bob Uecker, 81, was hit by a ball during pregame batting practice and suffered a mild concussion. Maybe he should have been standing more than “just a bit outside” of the batting cage.

Guessing a few people will be fired in St. Louis over their hacking of the Astros. But as to punishment for the Cardinals? Rob Manfred may call Selig for advice on setting up one of those “Blue Ribbon Committees.” (The one on the A’s potentially moving is only into its sixth year.)

Really bad timing for the St. Louis Cardinals to get caught.. This year investigators will believe the Astros actually had information worth stealing.

As of today, eight Kansas City Royals are in to start this year’s All-Star game. Along with former Royal Nori Aoki. New commissioner Rob Manfred wants to wait until voting is over, but said MLB is “responsive and open to change if in fact it appears we get a result that is not consistent with the goals of the system that is currently in place.”

All-Star voting might be flawed? I’m shocked, shocked….

Donald Trump has officially entered the 2016 Presidential race. And Jon Stewart is thinking about calling Brett Favre – “How do you do that ‘un-retiring’ thing?”

Donald Trump’s Presidential campaign has just begun, but how long until someone demands a birth certificate for that furry thing that lives on his head. Pretty sure it wasn’t born in the U.S.

United Airlines says they are moving their “P.S’ – Premium Service – hub from JFK to Newark for transcontinental flights. So for all those frequent fliers who have been complaining about delays and traffic to-from JFK and wondering if it could be any worse? The answer is yes.

In California, Scott Wilk, a Republican assemblyman who was opposing the state budget on Facebook accidentally voted FOR it, and then posted on Twitter. “My wife is right — I can’t multitask!” Kind of makes you feel real warm and fuzzy about the rest of Wilk’s legislative actions. Not to mention his driving.

A man from Mims, a small town about an hour from Orlando, was drinking at a BBQ with friends when he decided to check if there was still a round in the chamber of his gun – by putting the weapon to his head and pulling the trigger. There was.

Services are pending. Back on your game, Florida,

2-out 2-run double today for Casey McGehee. Maybe that’s ‪#‎SFGiants‬‘ solution, only let ‪#‎McGehee‬ bat when there’s no chance for a double play.

GOP House members are trying to zero out federal funding for the Title X family planning program, which provides birth control and other reproductive health services to individuals, mostly young women, earning less than $25,000 a year. Right. Because if we all agree one goal is to reduce unwanted pregnancies and thus potential abortions, no doubt denying poor women birth control will stop them having sex….. ‪#‎facepalm‬

 

So Neil Young told Donald Trump to stop using his song “Rocking in the Free World” as a campaign theme. Maybe Young should offer to rewrite another song in a way that would be perfect for the Donald: How about “Ego and the Damage Done?”

A former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader today pleaded guilty to having sex with a 15-year-old boy. The boy’s name has been not been released because he was a minor, protecting his privacy but no doubt also denying him bragging rights with his friends.

 

Congrats to the ‪#‎GoldenStateWarriors‬ Now, will they vote the ‪#‎Clippers‬, who knocked off the ‪#‎Spurs‬, a playoff share? ‪#‎NBAFinals‬

Got to give ‪#‎LebronJames‬ for playing with basically a six man bench. Even Snow White had seven dwarves. ‪#‎NBAFinals‬


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