The 49ers get another playoff home game, which should be at night. Will ticket holders be asked to bring flashlights? – Lakers 73, Dallas 70? Or was that score left over from a Baylor football game? – How long until we start seeing Costa Concordia cocktails? Presumably something Italian on the rocks, with a lot [...]
Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category
When we hope the Lights Don’t Go Down in the City.
January 16, 2012Well, at least Tebow…
January 15, 2012Now has plenty of time to go to church on Sundays. – The Saints lost in a thriller, Tebow and the Broncos got pounded. Maybe God decided to watch the NBA instead this weekend. – Quote before yesterday’s 49ers-Saints playoff game, from Tara VanDerveer via Scott Ostler “All the great ones have a screw loose.” [...]
Take the Heat, please.
January 14, 2012The Miami Heat have lost three in a row. “That’s such a shame.” said absolutely no one outside South Florida. – Ohio State president Gordon Gee is apologizing after saying that coordinating the school’s 18 colleges was “kind of like the Polish army or something.” Fortunately for Gee, he’s likely off the front page soon [...]
Tough ladies.
January 13, 2012Demi Moore, 49, who recently ended her marriage to Ashton Kutcher, 33, is now apparently dating a 26 year old male model. Just one thing to say – “You go girl!” – Michelle Obama is denying reports in a recent book of tension between her and White House aides. The First Lady says people have [...]
Scavenger hunting.
January 12, 2012Mitt Romney is denying allegations that he is a “vulture capitalist.” He has a point, vultures only take as much as they need to survive. – Manny Ramirez says if some MLB team gives him another chance he could be a role model. Uh, hasn’t Manny already been a role model. As in “No matter [...]
Bowled over. Finally.
January 11, 2012Finally. Not saying bowl season goes on too long, but even many guys had to be thinking, Ah heck, enough, let’s switch to the channel where the guy gets to choose between all the hot scantily clad chicks. – Monday night’s LSU-Alabama rematch was the lowest-rated BCS title game ever. Rumor has it at some [...]
Boring Contrived System.
January 10, 2012Okay, I apologize in advance for this first joke. If only Hurricane Katrina had made as little forward progress in New Orleans as LSU’s offense. – But really? Best two teams in the country? For most of the game both LSU and Alabama didn’t even look like the best teams in the SEC. – Open [...]
3 16
January 9, 2012Yes, you cannot make this “stuff” up, Tim Tebow threw for 3 16 yards tonight. Coincidentally the number of his favorite bible verse. Not to be confused with Ben Roethlisberger’s favorite 3 16 – three 16 year olds. (Okay, okay, so the alleged victim was 20. He was 28.) – But really, First play in [...]
Saints be praised.
January 8, 2012For anyone who wanted to see what Andrew Luck would be like with really good receivers, I refer you to highlights of Drew Brees tonight against the Lions. – Not to say the Saints were unstoppable. But in the second half, they were scoring faster than Tiger Woods during his marriage in a room full [...]
There’s no place like no home.
January 7, 2012Much buzz about the fact the Tiger’s ex-wife Elin bought, then knocked down, a $12 million Florida mansion. Wonder if she got a discount on the demolition for helping out with her own golf clubs? – Regarding that $12 million mansion Elin Nordegren bought and has had demolished, the 17,000 sq. ft. home had six [...]
God calling?
January 6, 2012All these candidates, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, Herman Cain, etc who said God told them to run. Is it possible that God just really wants to make sure Barack Obama gets re-elected? – Or maybe God just needs a new cellphone plan? – But really, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry and Herman Cain all actually said [...]
Oh, father….
January 5, 2012Los Angeles archdiocese auxiliary bishop Gabino Zavala has resigned after admitting he fathered 2 children. On a brighter note for the church, at least this means he was having sex with an adult woman. – Michele Bachmann said she is ending her campaign for President. Not sure who is more upset, her hundreds of hard-core [...]
Caucused?
January 4, 2012Okay, now in all seriousness, the combined votes for Romney and Santorum in the Iowa caucuses….approximately equal the population of Palo Alto, California. (Just under 59.000. Total.) – About 120,000 voters voted period. Which is less than the population of Sunnyvale, California. (To out of state or out of country readers that’s a suburb several [...]
Luck is not enough.
January 3, 2012Stanford’s field goal kicker picked a bad time to turn into an honorary Seminole. – As T.C. said, however, at least he didn’t miss wide right. – Just imagining a tie NFL game with Brees, Brady or Rodgers and 52 seconds to go with three time outs on the opponents 25 yard line…. Can’t imagine [...]
Riddle me this…
January 1, 2012Why do Dallas Cowboys fans have the biggest flat screen televisions? Because for years they haven’t had to waste money on playoff tickets. – And yes, for the third time in four years, the Dallas Cowboys will not be in the playoffs. No punchline, I just like writing this. – Newt Gingrich is now blaming [...]
Happy New Year.
January 1, 2012And this wish is not mine but it’s still my favorite for New Year’s Eve – “May your troubles last as long as your New Year’s Resolutions.” – And okay Cubs fans, it’s officially time to whip out your 2012 edition “Wait Until Next Year” t-shirts. – Texas A & M, which had lost its [...]
Really?
December 31, 2011Mitt Romney compared President Obama to Marie Antoinette as a way to say the President is out of touch with everyday Americans. Really? Mitt Romney saying Obama is out of touch is like Herman Cain saying Bill Clinton is a lousy husband. – Mitt Romney’s son Matt said that his father would release his tax [...]
Still dead?
December 29, 2011It’s December 29, and Generalissmo Francisco Franco and Kim Jong Il are still dead. – Along perhaps, with the Mavericks chances of repeating as NBA champions? – Nascar driver Kasey Kahne tweeted about being offended by seeing a breastfeeding mother. Therefore solidifying his place for most woman as an all-time big boob. – This just [...]
Human?
December 28, 2011Ann Romney is said to make her husband look more human. Heck, the only woman who might not make Mitt look more human is Callista Gingrich. – Meanwhile, Romney tried to score points by comparing Newt Gingrich to Lucille Ball. Well, that ought to take care of all the people who say Mitt is out [...]
Holiday semi-hiatus.
December 27, 2011Another short vacation post. But what I have learned from Fox News (the only U.S. news channel available: EVERYTHING is President Obama’s fault. (except for the good stuff, that’s due to W. and his dad. Ok, got it.) So who do we blame for the BCS? Tonight’s offering? Louisville vs. N.C. State in the Belk [...]
